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Legalize the Constitution
Picture of TMats
posted Hide Post
What’s black and white and red all over?



A wounded nun.

(Going back to Catholic grade school)


_______________________________________________________
despite them
 
Posts: 13166 | Location: Wyoming | Registered: January 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
...do justly, love
mercy, walk humbly...
posted Hide Post
How do you make a kleenex dance?


You put a little boogie in it.
 
Posts: 739 | Location: Upstate, SC | Registered: September 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Prep, Confirm, Roll
posted Hide Post
What did one burp say to another burp?

Let's be stinkers and sneak out the other end!





NRA Certified instructor,
and Range Safety officer

OpSpec Training http://opspectraining.com
Grayguns - http://grayguns.com
 
Posts: 3172 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
posted Hide Post
Why do Swedish ships have bar codes?

So they can Scandanavian.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 53118 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by RichardC:
quote:
Originally posted by ArtieS:
What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?

WHEEEEEE!


That's way too funny for tbis thread.

Ok, I'll try to do better...

What's red and green and goes 200 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits your windshield?

Its asshole.

ETA: Where's Gibby29? He's got a million of 'em...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ArtieS,



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 12745 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Jack of All Trades,
Master of Nothing
Picture of 2000Z-71
posted Hide Post
When geese fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other?

More geese on that side.




My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
 
Posts: 11749 | Location: Eagle River, AK | Registered: September 12, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Jack of All Trades,
Master of Nothing
Picture of 2000Z-71
posted Hide Post
Little Jonny West Virginian was having a birthday. His folks didn't know what to give him, soothes asked him. Little Johnny didn't know what he wanted so he thought and he thought and he bit over his lower lip with his overbite that cried out for orthodontia and he thought some more. Finally he yelled out,

"I wanna' watch!"

So the next night they let him.




My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
 
Posts: 11749 | Location: Eagle River, AK | Registered: September 12, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Delusions of Adequacy
Picture of zoom6zoom
posted Hide Post
I have a pet bird who can predict the future.

He’s an omen pigeon.




I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
 
Posts: 17944 | Location: Virginia | Registered: June 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Green Mountain Boy
Picture of Jus228
posted Hide Post
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?



They’re both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.


!~God Bless the U.S. Military~!

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off

Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
 
Posts: 5563 | Location: Vermont | Registered: March 02, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
King Nothing
Picture of SigSauerP226
posted Hide Post
What do you call a food fight with oranges?

Navel warfare.

Groaner and I made it up today for some reason at work.




...Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
 
Posts: 2433 | Location: Simi Valley, CA | Registered: September 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
posted Hide Post
Black and white and red all over?

Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.




 
Posts: 9112 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Save an Elephant
Kill a Poacher
Picture of urbanwarrior238
posted Hide Post
Q-How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

A-Answering the iron


'I am the danger'...Hiesenberg
NRA Certified Pistol Instructor
NRA Certified Rifle Instructor
NRA Life Member
 
Posts: 1369 | Location: Escaped from Kalifornia to Arizona February 2022! | Registered: March 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
E Plebmnista; Norcom, Forcom, Perfectumum.
Picture of OneWheelDrive
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by cne32507:
If you are an American when you go into a bathroom, when you come out you are still an American. What are you while you are in the bathroom?
.
.When you come out you're Finnish.
.
.
.
.
European


================================================
Ultron: "You're unbearably naive."
Vision: "Well, I was born yesterday."
 
Posts: 4779 | Location: St. Louis, Mo | Registered: March 23, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
What’s black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A dead nun rolling down a hill.
 
Posts: 1605 | Location: Texas Hill Country | Registered: April 07, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Delusions of Adequacy
Picture of zoom6zoom
posted Hide Post
A wife is like a hand grenade.
If the ring comes off, you can say good bye to your house.




I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
 
Posts: 17944 | Location: Virginia | Registered: June 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A Gummy Bear
VI
 
Posts: 646 | Registered: July 31, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of TigerDore
posted Hide Post
What do you call a dog with four legs, a tail and no head?



It doesn't matter; he's not coming anyway.



.
 
Posts: 8603 | Registered: September 26, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fly High, A.J.
Picture of tk13
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by urbanwarrior238:
Q-How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

A-Answering the iron


How did she burn the other ear?

They called back.
 
Posts: 1645 | Location: Suffolk, VA | Registered: March 23, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of TigerDore
posted Hide Post
What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that will make them cry?



Throw a coconut at their head.



.
 
Posts: 8603 | Registered: September 26, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Captain Morgan
posted Hide Post
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat?

If they fell towards they would land in the boat.



Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin
 
Posts: 3858 | Location: Sparta, NJ USA | Registered: August 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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