SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  The Lounge    Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)
Page 1 2 3 4 5 
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.) Login/Join 
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
There are two types of people in the world; those who require closure...



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 12744 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Ozarkwoods
posted Hide Post
Little Timmy: “Mommy, Mommy why am I walking in a circle?”
Mommy: “Shutup or I’ll nail your other shoe to the floor”


ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
 
Posts: 4810 | Location: SWMO | Registered: October 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
posted Hide Post
There are 10 kinds of people:

Those that know binary code, and those who don't.




 
Posts: 9112 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fly High, A.J.
Picture of tk13
posted Hide Post
3rd Grade safe:

A man walks into his psychiatrist's office and says: "Help, doc. I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee."

The doctor says: "You're just two (too) tents (tense).

Not 3rd Grade safe:

A man walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor says: "I can clearly see you're (your) nuts."
 
Posts: 1645 | Location: Suffolk, VA | Registered: March 23, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Tuckerrnr1
posted Hide Post
How do you make a Venician blind?

You poke him in the eye.


_____________________________________________
I may be a bad person, but at least I use my turn signal.
 
Posts: 5720 | Location: Florida | Registered: March 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of RichardC
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by ArtieS:
What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?

WHEEEEEE!


That's way too funny for tbis thread.


____________________
 
Posts: 15843 | Location: Florida | Registered: June 23, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Serenity now!
Picture of 4x5
posted Hide Post
What do you call a fly with no wings?



A walk!



Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ
 
Posts: 4923 | Location: Highland, UT | Registered: September 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
...do justly, love
mercy, walk humbly...
posted Hide Post
What did one eye say to the other?


“Psssst...between you and me, something smells”
 
Posts: 739 | Location: Upstate, SC | Registered: September 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted Hide Post
What did one hat say to the other? "You stay here, I'll go on ahead."
 
Posts: 27834 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
That rug really tied
the room together.
Picture of bubbatime
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by egregore:


YES!!! haha


______________________________________________________
Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow
 
Posts: 6660 | Location: Floriduh | Registered: October 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Retired, laying back
and enjoying life
Picture of low8option
posted Hide Post
From about the time of my third grade.

How do you make anti-freeze?



Steal her undies.



Freedom comes from the will of man. In America it is guaranteed by the 2nd Amendment
 
Posts: 876 | Location: Northern Alabama | Registered: June 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

because the 'p' is silent.....
 
Posts: 476 | Location: Greensboro, NC | Registered: November 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
What did one fly say to the other fly?
"your man is open"

Why did the chicken cross the road?
"to show an armadillo it could be done"
 
Posts: 263 | Location: Weatherford, TX | Registered: April 27, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of VonFatman
posted Hide Post
what's black and white and red (read) all over?

a newspaper
 
Posts: 376 | Registered: September 03, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees???

Because they’re so good at it...


___________________________
"Those that can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..."
 
Posts: 714 | Location: NE Iowa | Registered: October 30, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
Picture of RogueJSK
posted Hide Post
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man ordered a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, and both the man and giraffe proceed to slam down shot after shot.

After numerous rounds, the giraffe passes out on the floor.

The man tosses some money on the bar, gets up, and stumbles to the door.

As he's heading out, the bartender points at the passed-out giraffe and calls after him: "Hey buddy... You can't leave that lyin' there!"

The man turns and blearily replies "Nah, it'sh not a lion... It'sh a giraffe".
 
Posts: 32428 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburned zebra
 
Posts: 1190 | Location: Moved to N.W. MT. | Registered: April 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Tuckerrnr1:

How do you make a Venician blind?

You poke him in the eye.
How do you make Manischevitz wine?

Kick him in the balls.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 30545 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fly High, A.J.
Picture of tk13
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by RogueJSK:
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.


A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Hey, why the long face?"

A termite walks into a tavern and says: "Is your bartender here?"
 
Posts: 1645 | Location: Suffolk, VA | Registered: March 23, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
Good to know my third grade sense of humor is still intact. Couple of those made me giggle.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15181 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 2 3 4 5  
 

SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  The Lounge    Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)

© SIGforum 2024