I have a close childhood friend whom I've known for 45 years, and word is that he has become a raging alcoholic. A man with seemingly everything, a wonderful loving family, supportive wife who is a successful attorney, a great low stress career, and good friends. He's been in excellent health even despite being a Type 1 diabetic. He's worked hard at it becoming a committed bicyclist for the past decade or more.

We are in shock at this revelation. It seemingly comes out of the blue. That may not be accurate as our paths have diverged over the past year and a half, and we haven't seen much of each other, but that's how it feels to us and his wife as well. But, those of us who know him best are trying to get a handle on what happened and why. His wife says she has no idea, and no longer recognizes him; the lying, the anger, multi-day benders, 3 failed rehab stints, fighting interventions, you name it. And, he's about to lose his job of more than 25 years.

We can't help but wonder if there is not some physiological issue at play here. I've done a bit of research trying to determine if diabetes could somehow become some sort of catalyst, but have not found anything. Is this possible? For a 59 year old man with everything to live for to fall into this kind of black pit for no apparent reason in just a few months is just so difficult to comprehend. He's not exactly an angel and has always been a social drinker. Some would say he abused alcohol and recreational drugs a bit as a young man. I know genetics play a role too, but why now versus when he was younger? We're at a loss.

Demon has probably always been there, he just hid it / had his hand on it.
I would say there are mental issues / depression at play.
That time of life is stressful for a person, many people have trouble at that point in their lives. Kids leaving the nest. Marriage stresses. You have hit about where you are going in a career and start getting passed over because you are considered a "short timer" etc etc. Combination of stresses might have been more than he could bear right now and he fell in the bottle.

I would really check to see if he is suffering from depression. People can have everything perfect in their life, and still suffer from depression. Type 1 diabetes and alcohol is a really bad mix. I have seen people become alcoholics at a late age. It just creeps up on some people. Some people can drink everyday and then stop whenever they want, until the day they can't.

The wife has no idea is a red flag for me.

Marriage issues would be my guess. That would be the most obvious possibility.

On a side note. Since as men age their sexual appetite generally does not go away. I find it curious how many think that older men being angry or down right pissed off or irritable etc. is a mystery
and the spouse has no idea why?

And please do not turn this into a sexist thing as we men have our own issues on this subject and many others.

My initial impression was that something in his life has him pretty twisted and he’s not telling anyone. Two thoughts come immediately to mind...marital problems...one or the other has cheated and he’s self medicating or he has some type of serious illness he’s not dealing with and has been hiding. I hope i’m wrong on all accounts and don’t mean any disrespect. I do hope your friend is able to get meaningful help.

I will take a guess and say that this has been going on for years. Some problem drinkers are experts at hiding it.

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Originally posted by YooperSigs:
I will take a guess and say that this has been going on for years. Some problem drinkers are experts at hiding it.

My thoughts, too. It’s not like he just all of a sudden decided to pick up a heavy drinking habit. It takes years to build.

I’m 16 months sober. I decided to quit altogether as I could tell it was not going to end well. A lot of people ask me why I stopped — only because they have no clue how bad it was — they thought I had it all together.

I didn’t. Not at all.

It is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
And always has been.
6 years sober, only by the Grace of God.
If you'd like to talk offline, email is in my profile.

quote:

Originally posted by YooperSigs:
I will take a guess and say that this has been going on for years. Some problem drinkers are experts at hiding it.

This

I agree. He’s probably always been an alcoholic at some level. He probably just went all in or was finally found out.

Does the diabetes have something to do with it? Don’t know, I don’t have diabetes...personally, when my blood sugar was low, I craved alcohol.

For me its Satans JU-JU Juice It is the MOST CUNNING, sneaky, deadly thing on the planet for ME!! sounds like there are a number of possibilities going on here. All that shit didn't mean anything to me till it had me turned inside out, depression, booze, anger, my high intelligence tried to play Russian roulette with all those Demons. It doesn't work, only professional help and prayers. I'm sending prayers. Blessings.....

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The wife has no idea is a red flag for me.

My guess as well.

I’m with the suggestion that it’s been a problem for a long time and now it’s visible.

I had a friend who was a retired Navy commander, retired lawyer. Bachelor -- divorced, a few times. I met two of his ex-wives and some of his girl friends and it was pretty apparent that he was not really great at choosing.

He was pretty comfortable in his retirement.

Then, in the duration of a year or so, he got involved with hookers, porn actresses, and crack. He blew through a half million dollars or so, lost his house, his Morgan Out-Islander sailboat, new Jaguar, and was found dead in an unoccupied house that was used by druggies.

All this despite some serious efforts on the part of his daughter and her husband to help him.

Original poster questions the reasons for this sort of thing. Those of us who knew my friend have similar questions.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: V-Tail,

Outside of the mental changes. I would say there is a real health danger here.

Old co worker of mine just died. Had a heart attack while in a diabetic coma. He drank a bunch and didn't watch his blood sugar. Went on a bender alone. No one was there to save him.

Sad, indeed

Alcohol/addiction is an equal opportunity destroyer. It has no regard for age, sex, race or economic status. The how and why is not important because it really can't be determined. Letting him find his own bottom is the goal. Hopefully, he will find it before it kills him.

Life is all about one word: Choices.

Choose to live a long, clean, honorable life.

Choose to blame others for your choices.

Choose to rape women then later run for President.

Choose to lie to the American public as an FBI Director.

The list goes on.....

I watched my dad's addiction to alcohol destroy his military career, then his marriage, then our family. We had an anual Christmas parade and he went from the town Santa to the town drunk.

I was called into the councilor's office at school and was warned that alcoholism is a disease and it is genetic, and that I would eventually become one without their help. They wanted to put me on a program of regular therapy and anti-depressant drugs. Not due to my behavior mind you, but because of the behavior of my dad.

My mom said no and we left the district. now I am retired, still married to wife of 40 years, 6 kids, 19 grands, and have never touched a drop of alcohol. They have their preventive plan, I have mine.

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port actresses

Never heard of such unless we have a typo.