SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Florida Man Strikes Again - Steals Pool Floats as Alternative to Rape.
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Ammoholic |
I'll just let the article speak for itself. Florida cops arrest man who said he stole pool floats to use for sex  A Florida man arrested in the theft of stolen pool floats told cops he used the inflatables for sex instead of raping women, court papers show. Christopher Monnin, 35, was charged Thursday with breaking into the backyards of homes with pools in Palm Bay and stealing only flotation devices, according to the arrest affidavit. “Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats instead of raping women,” the affidavit said. Monnin was on a bike when cops stopped him at 1:25 a.m. Thursday as a suspicious person. They found him in possession of a garbage bag full of deflated pool floats, the affidavit said. Palm Bay has been plagued with the theft of pool floats in more than a dozen reported burglaries in the past seven months, according to the affidavit. In some cases the thief cut a screen door to gain access to the pool area. The affidavit stated that police found approximately 75 pool floats in a vacant house where Monnin admitted to stashing them. He was arrested on charges of burglary, criminal mischief and petit theft and booked into the Brevard County Jail on a $15,000 bond. The Sebastian Daily reported that in one of the burglaries Monnin was accused of stealing a bacon-shaped pool float. Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | ||
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| Member |
Hmmmm. He does not look like he has read Portnoy's Complaint. Maybe someone can send him a copy of Roth's best seller. | |||
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| I have not yet begun to procrastinate |
Ya know, some of the talking monkeys obviously have some crossed or shorted wires in their head.  Things that make you say "Daaaamn". -------- After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. | |||
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Not really from Vienna |
He seems nice | |||
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| Member |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Appearances can be deceiving. Now that I have seen pics of your neighbor's well kept homes I understand your remark. | |||
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I will get by |
I picked him up hitchhiking. ...or is that to many words for a grave stone? Do not necessarily attribute someone's nasty or inappropriate actions as intended when it may be explained by ignorance or stupidity. | |||
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| You're going to feel a little pressure... |
I am sure the complainants are thrilled the crime is solved and feel lucky to have their pool toys returned to them for use in their pools. Bruce "The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with." -Douglas Adams “It is just as difficult and dangerous to try to free a people that wants to remain servile as it is to try to enslave a people that wants to remain free." -Niccolo Machiavelli The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. -Mencken | |||
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Optimistic Cynic |
So, does leaving pool floats lying around your pool classify as "hunting over bait?" Blow up dolls as a gateway drug? | |||
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| Go ahead punk, make my day |
Bahhaha, Florida never disappoints, but most of these crimes aren't even investigated on the left coast. | |||
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Frangas non Flectes |
Yep, most of the crazy shit the junkies and weirdos do out here would never make the news. And it should. ______________________________________________ Carthago delenda est | |||
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Member |
Innovative... Beware of a man whose only pistol is a 1911, he's probably very good with it. | |||
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"Member" |
Pool floats were asking for it. _____________________________________________________ Sliced bread, the greatest thing since the 1911. | |||
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Unhyphenated American |
Nothing original. This guy is a multiple offender. __________________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M Nixon It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice. Billy Joe Shaver NRA Life Member | |||
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Wait, what? |
Has he never heard of Walmart? For $3 a pop, he could have a cheap date AND avoid the arrest... “Remember to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from a virus they got vaccinated against because you’re not vaccinated.” - author unknown | |||
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A Grateful American |
Hope he didn't work at the Krispy Kreme... "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Not One of the Cool Kids  |
Who says chivalry is dead? | |||
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| Master of one hand pistol shooting  |
I must have missed the pool float lesson in sex ed. SIGnature NRA Benefactor CMP Pistol Distinguished | |||
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| Lead slingin' Parrot Head  |
Sounds like the LGBTQXYZ crowd has a new category to add to their constituency. | |||
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| Member |
I wonder what letter he would be assigned? | |||
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| Lead slingin' Parrot Head |
I'm thinking the movement has grown to encompass so many different categories that they are going to need to expand to a 2 letter code...so, maybe IG for Inflatable Gratification? | |||
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