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Main Page The Lounge Now I know how a dog feels when it is whacked with a rolled up newspaper...OR...my shopping trip to Publix...Page 1 2
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Plowing straight ahead come what may |
...Wednesday is as I fondly call it..."geezer day" where you get 5% off your your total purchase at my local Publix if you are over 60 (my apologies to those over 60...I'm 64  )...Long story short...I'm filling my buggy with the BOGO chicken broth, Marie Callander's chicken pot pies, Green Giant frozen veggies or what is on sale... Lost in the whole grocery shopping thing...thinking about that 5% I'll be saving at checkout...THEN... Whack!...To the back of my head!... I spin around and face an aged 60+ well dressed lady with a rolled up Publix sale flyer in her hand standing beside another aged 60+ lady pushing a buggy... Lady with rolled up Publix flyer... "HOW DARE YOU!"... Me with much surprise..."excuse me"...(I'm thinking I might have hit her with my buggy)... Lady..."How dare you just walk by and not speak to me...that so rude!"... Me..."Do I know you"... Lady..."You don't recognize me do you"...while pointing and wagging the rolled up flyer in my face...at least she was smiling... Me..."NO...NO...do I know you?"... Lady..."Yes...I'm your neighbor...I can't believe you don't recognize me...gee Ron, I've walked my dog in front of your house all summer!"... Me..."I'm not Ron...I'm Charlie...not Ron"... Lady..."Oh my...I thought you were Ron my neighbor...Oh my...I've just slapped a total stranger on the head...Oh my!, Oh my!...I'm so sorry..Oh my, Oh no, Oh my!"... Me (trying to make her feel better)..."No problem, I get mistaken for Ron all the time...he is such a good looking guy"...didn't work, she is melting down and will not even look at me...she just walked away...the lady with her looked at me and said with a smile..."I have no idea who you are...I'm not involved in this...my name is Susan and I'm pleased to meet you Charlie" and reached out and shook my hand (she was totally enjoying the whole thing at her friends expense)... I really felt bad for the other lady...it had to be embarrassing, but in the stream of life, I found it refreshing and funny...I think Susan handled the whole thing with the right attitude...I'm sure she has given her friend a hard time...and I can relate to the surprise a dog must have being whacked by a rolled up newspaper (or a Publix flyer) ******************************************************** "we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet | ||
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Drug Dealer |
I had something similar happen to me once. I was checking out at Publix when a hot 20-something blonde put her hand on my arm. "Hi there," she said with a big smile, "You don't remember me, do you?" I thought and thought but nothing clicked. I finally guessed: "You're not that hooker from my bachelor party that I rear-ended on the coffee table are you?" She blushed and said, "No. I'm your daughter's first grade teacher". When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| Plowing straight ahead come what may |
Why...is...that...so...Jim Shugart ...that's funny, no matter who you are ******************************************************** "we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet | |||
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Member |
. Hey Charlie, I think they were trying to pick you up!!!! You should keep going back every Wednesday looking for Susan and "the Swater" until you find them again. Invite them both out to dinner, a movie ~ ya never know where that might go! | |||
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| Plowing straight ahead come what may |
I didn't really think about it until now...do you think she got me mixed up with Ron Jeremie...we are the same age (no...not even a chance  )******************************************************** "we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet | |||
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| Drug Dealer |
They're probably a team that will roll ya and steal your shit. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| Dances With Tornados |
Yep. They're sneaky. One will get you nekkid and all hot and sweaty while the other steals your wallet. BTW Walmart has a big selection of wallets on sale for a buck ninety nine. I'm sure I can karma you a hunnerd dollar bill, yanno to help you out. | |||
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Striker in waiting |
What if that's not their game? He could wake up in a bathtub filled w/ ice. Do you have any idea what a 64 y.o. kidney is worth on the black market? (I don't.) -Rob I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888 A=A | |||
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W07VH5 |
I sometimes get mistaken for my younger brother. He moved out of state years ago but people still remember him for the perverted, rude, vulgar, foul-mouthed person that I'm not. | |||
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Member |
ROTFLMAO at work ! You are my hero, sir | |||
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| Needs a check up from the neck up  |
classic __________________________ The entire reason for the Second Amendment is not for hunting, it’s not for target shooting … it’s there so that you and I can protect our homes and our children and and our families and our lives. And it’s also there as fundamental check on government tyranny. Sen Ted Cruz | |||
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Member |
Senior moment, acceptable in a Publix. | |||
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Comic Relief |
A lady in the fabric store turned to me and said “Do you like this color? Oh, you’re not my husband!” I said “No. I may be getting senile but I’m sure I’d remember you.” Later at the checkout lines, she was beside a man, saw me and said “This is my husband.” I said “Are you sure?” | |||
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E Pluribus Unum |
Well, in fairness, you DID say you were shopping for BOGOs | |||
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| In the yahd, not too fah from the cah  |
So, to ask the real question. Was Susan hot? | |||
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E tan e epi tas |
One of our family stories of lore. Many moons back my mom and my aunt(who has my sense of humor) were shopping at some department store. My aunt, upon finding my mom and her cart promptly walks up to the cart grabs one of the tops, holds it up and proclaims.... "Why do you insist on buying things that make you look like a whore!?" When the nice lady with the cart turned around mortified my aunt realized.....not my mom. Dear Mom was two rows over laughing her ass off at the mortified woman and my now white as a ghost aunt. "Guns are tools. The only weapon ever created was man." | |||
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Funny Man |
14 replies before someone got to the important question.....this place is slipping ______________________________ “I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.” ― John Wayne | |||
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Member |
That's funny, Ron! Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. “If in winning a race, you lose the respect of your fellow competitors, then you have won nothing” - Paul Elvstrom "The Great Dane" 1928 - 2016 | |||
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His Royal Hiney |
That is funny. I'd be fuming if I got hit by a rolled up newspaper though. "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946. | |||
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| Dances With Tornados |
Just think and remember, before SigForum it started with "Dear Penthouse" | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Now I know how a dog feels when it is whacked with a rolled up newspaper...OR...my shopping trip to Publix...
Main Page The Lounge Now I know how a dog feels when it is whacked with a rolled up newspaper...OR...my shopping trip to Publix...© SIGforum 2024