I don’t know if any of you run emergency drills often, but at the refinery we make sure to not use the words “this is not a test” in any of our......tests.

But, perhaps my expectations of government are too high.

The GREEN button calls the pizzeria.

The RED button calls statewide panic.

Did they test this klutz for colour-blindness?

tac

In other news, hawaiis churches were beyond max capacity this week! Send that donation bowl around again father.

The only time Hawaiians will see that message is when it's broadcast in error. NK is not capable of attacking Hawaii and NK would not attack Hawaii if it had the capability because NK's little sack of shit dictator knows that it would be the end of him.

If you think there's any credible threat- or even possibility- of NK attacking us, you need to stop watching CNN.

And, Jamie Lee? Woman, shut your ignorant Goddamned mouth.

A bank I worked for had branches all over the country, mostly small retail operations. Each branch was visited by the bank's auditors annually. A guy I know was made head of one of the traveling audit teams, and on his first audit decided to be thorough, hitting every point in the procedures manual.

One test called for him to verify the silent alarm system, so he called the local constabulary (a small, quiet town, by the way), informed them he was going to trip the alarm, went into the branch manager's office, reached under the desk and pushed the button (don't know if it was red or green, sorry, tac).

The auditor waited in the manager's office for the police to call back and verify they had received the alarm. While he was waiting, the bartender from across the street came into the office, and without a word, placed a glass of beer on the manager's desk and left. The police never called back.

What are you trying to say? I don't get this story.

They are retraining him. He is now off the computer systems that could trigger false alarms for incoming missiles. He is now working in the control center that launches ballistic missiles. Button 1 "lunch" button 2 "launch." Got it?

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
What are you trying to say? I don't get this story.

Just a funny story about alarm buttons. All the panic over this idiot in Hawaii reminded me of it, and I thought the forum would enjoy it.

It's a true story, by the way. It happened at a branch of Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, on the Ontario side of Niagara Falls. The auditor told me the story when he was auditing the branch I worked at.

What's the joke? I don't get it.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
What's the joke? I don't get it.

The branch manager had rewired the button under his desk to ring a bell at the bar across the street.

Wait for the lawsuits suing the state for undue distress, etc.

The news reported the button was pushed then they were prompted to confirm to proceed and yes was selected.

In this age of continuous messages and disclaimers presented to us with software we have been accustomed to just hitting; yes, yes, proceed, next, yes, confirm.
Seldom does one take time to read the computer prompt.

What we need is a real physical button for tasks such as these.

Maybe they should put the picture of children in storm drains on the desk of the person performing this test task.

I used to work in the Emergency Operations Center of a big defense contractor and we had a few mishaps with the mass alert system which basically hits everyone’s cell phone, land line and email with a preset message that comes through as a text to speech message or text.

I’ll bet you $1000 they had a test message set up to go to a test distro list of maybe 25 people and some idiot clicked the wrong button in the interface (it’s all web based) and basically did a “copy all” to the entire state of Hawaii distro.

We made a big goof like that and sent a message meant for a narrow audience to the entire defense contractor company distro list. It was a mess to deal with and lots of angry higher ups involved.

It’s crazy to see how long it took them to issue an “oops” here, though. I bet you NO ONE will be fired over this either.

A lot to like in this thread. Of course no one will be fired, the island is full of idiot liberals. Can't fire a democrat who works for the government, he has life tenancy. Or until a Republican is elected.

Other stuff. Jamie Lee Curtis should have stuck to making B grade nudie movies. She was OK at that back when she had a nice body. Anybody see her lately or, gawd forbid, nekkid? How old is she now anyway. Maybe we don't want to see her nekkid.

So far the best post was the guy who's wife's uncle fell into the outhouse. What a shitty business. He might have been better off dead than telling that story. So the poster needs to man up and get the story as known in her family. All the details will do nicely. I'd bet there are a bunch of sicko's here that would enjoy hearing it. Me included.

Edited to add: I googled her. She was born in 1958 meaning she's gonna be 60 this year, and probably too saggy to be of great interest if nekkid. Also not of interest for her political blathering.

quote:

Originally posted by rpm2010:
Out here...there's not a whole lot of below ground (basement) type buildings, and with only 20 - 25 minutes or so between warning and impact from N. Korea... Not a whole lot we can do, "shelter in place"...at home (if we're lucky to be there) put up plastic sheeting/duct tape over the windows, hunker down...thats it, guess I better get around to ordering the anti radiation coveralls, gas masks, and anti radiation pills, stock up on food/water...then what?

Head to the nearest airport and grab a seat on a large private jet and convince the pilot he is taking you with them.

Oh, and just be glad your last meal wasn’t at Jack in the Box.

quote:

Originally posted by rburg:
A lot to like in this thread. Of course no one will be fired, the island is full of idiot liberals. Can't fire a democrat who works for the government, he has life tenancy. Or until a Republican is elected.

Other stuff. Jamie Lee Curtis should have stuck to making B grade nudie movies. She was OK at that back when she had a nice body. Anybody see her lately or, gawd forbid, nekkid? How old is she now anyway. Maybe we don't want to see her nekkid.

So far the best post was the guy who's wife's uncle fell into the outhouse. What a shitty business. He might have been better off dead than telling that story. So the poster needs to man up and get the story as known in her family. All the details will do nicely. I'd bet there are a bunch of sicko's here that would enjoy hearing it. Me included.

Jamie Lee Curtis has had so much Activa, crap just spews freely out both ends.

quote:

Originally posted by Jimineer:

Oh, and just be glad your last meal wasn’t at Jack in the Box.

I'm always glad for that.

quote:

Originally posted by nhtagmember:
I thought I liked JLC but she had to go and open her mouth and show what an arrogant fool she really is

She used to be kind of hawt, back in her day, but she's always been a bit of a loony tune, TTBOMK.

quote:

Originally posted by Scooter123:
There was an Amber Alert issued while I was "running" on an Elliptical at the gym this morning. Sounded like the place was on fire with so many phones going off.

Yeah, Yet Another Domestic Battle "Amber Alert."

I've had it with those. I'm turning that stuff off on my phone. (My wife has already done so.)

Good way to kill a good idea, idiots!

This reminds me of a scene from 'Monsters vs Aliens'