You've been warned.....


Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Luckily, my injuries were only Super Fish Oil.

Carry on.

Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Aye Matie.

boo hiss

That's 2/3 of a pun - PU.

quote:

Originally posted by Rolan_Kraps:
You've been warned.....


Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Luckily, my injuries were only Super Fish Oil.

Carry on.

You haven't posted a shoot theme lately. Maybe you could set up a stage(s) that reveal bad puns.

The annual "Pun & Gun Course"?

G R O A N .....

quote:

Originally posted by mark_a:

You haven't posted a shoot theme lately. Maybe you could set up a stage(s) that reveal bad puns.

The annual "Pun & Gun Course"?

I like that idea. This month's match is based on the movie "Stripes".

STAGE 1
Life on the frontier wasn’t working out too good for John Winger and his friend Russell Ziskey.
They had tried almost every job there was and weren’t good at any of them. So one day John quit his stage coach job, and Russel quit trying to teach English to the Indians and they decided to join the army. Their rational being that “you get free clothes, you get free food, and Chicks did a guy in uniform”.
But life in the army of the frontier wasn’t much fun. They weren’t sent anywhere for “training” it was more of an “On the Job” proposition. The first day was spent getting signed up and drawing their uniforms and gear. The recruiting officer asks John and Russell “standard” questions about being convicted (no never convicted), or about being Homosexual (what you mean “flaming” or ...? No, we're not homosexual, but we are “willing to learn”. “Yeah, would they send us someplace special?”). Afterwards they are treated to dinner and settle into their barracks to meet their fellow soldiers. First up is a guy who tells them: “The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.”
To which Sgt Hulka replies: “Lighten up, Francis”.

Starting Position: Start standing fully upright, fully behind barrel with knife in strong hand while other hand is loose at side. When ready say the line: “Lighten up, Francis.”

Procedure:
ATB, Shooter drops knife. Using both revolvers Shooter engages the pistol targets in a Double tap Nevada sweep starting from either direction. Re-Holster and move to a position that is fully behind table. Engage rifle targets in a double tap Nevada sweep from either direction. Replace rifle and retrieve shotgun. Using shotgun, engage shotgun targets using at least 4 rounds.

STAGE 2
But John and Russell’s dreams of an easy life are shattered the next morning, Sgt. Hulka comes in at 05:00 AM and rousted the men out of bed for a 5 mile run in the rain. John looks up, still holding his pillow, tells Sgt. Hulka “I know I speak for the whole platoon when I say that this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested”. To which Sgt. Hulka replies: “Let’s make it 15 miles”.

Starting Position: Start standing fully behind barrel with both hands holding pillow om front of face. When ready say the line: “This run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested”.

Procedure:
ATB, Shooter places pillow on barrel. Using both revolvers Shooter engages the pistol targets in a Double tap sweep starting from either direction. Re-Holster and move to a position that is fully behind table. Engage rifle targets in a double tap sweep from either direction. Replace rifle and retrieve shotgun. Using shotgun, engage shotgun targets using at least 4 rounds.

STAGE 3
As the men progress with their training they eventually have to run the obstacle course in the woods near the base. While this is going on, Captain Stillman orders an artillery man to fire his cannon. The solider complies and blows up Sgt. Hulka in the process. The platoon gather around Sgt. Hulka, but only Ox is brave enough to ask the question on everyone’s mind. “Sgt. Hulka, does this mean we are through for the day”? Sgt. Hulka’s last conscious act is to try to choke Ox.

Starting Position – Start standing fully behind the barrel with hat is both hands above barrel. When ready, say the line “Sgt. Hulka, does this mean we are through for the day”?

Procedure:
ATB, Shooter places the hat on barrel. Using handguns, user engages pistol targets in a PROGRESSIVE Sweep starting on either side. Re-Holster and move to a position fully behind the table. Using Rifle, engage rifle targets in a Progressive sweep starting on either target. Replace rifle and engage shotgun targets with at least 4 rounds.

STAGE 4
With Sgt. Hulka in the hospital, it is up for the men to finish their training on their own. So they play some cards, take in a strip show, get arrested, and returned to the fort in disgrace. Captain Stillman threatens to throw them in the stockade, but decides it would be better to let General Barnicke see for himself what a bunch of screw-ups they have become. So the men practice the drills required for graduation all night behind the stable. They fall asleep and wake up half way through the graduation ceremony. They end up “improvising” for the General. The General asks them where the Hell they have been. The men reply “Training Sir!”. “What kind of Training?” “ARMY TRAINING SIR!” The General asked where their Sargent is and the men reply “BLOWN UP, SIR!”. After their performance the General decides that they would be the perfect candidates to test the Army’s new EM50 Western Assault Wagon.

Starting Position – Start standing at attention fully behind rifle. When ready say the line “ARMY TRAINING SIR!”

Procedure:
ATB retrieve your rifle and engage the targets in a double tap sweep from either direction. Replace rifle on table. Using shotgun, knock down shotgun targets in any order. Move to a position that is fully behind the window, repeat rifle instructions with pistols.

STAGE 5
The Platoon is deployed to a fort near Apache territory. John and Russell are detailed to guard the EM50 Western Assault Wagon. While standing guard alone, they decide that the wagon would be a sweet way to take the girls up to the mountains for a little “get away”. They slip off with the wagon, pick up their girl friends, and head out. While they are have fun in the next town, the army assumes that they stole the EM50 to sell whiskey to the Apaches. Captain Stillman decides that they must go after the EM50 or be the laughing stock of the Army. They load up their guns and strike out after the boys. Eventually Sgt. Hulka points out to the Captain that they are about to enter Apache Territory. The Captain rebukes the Sargent. Sgt. Hulka bails out of the wagon and decides to go it on his own. He goes to a telegraph station and puts out a notice that the platoon has been captured. John and Russell happen to be in the telegraph office when the word comes through that their friends have been captured. John tries to convince Russel to go after them. “Come’on, it’s the Apache Nation, we zip in, we pick ‘em up, we zip out, it’s like going to Wisconsin”. Russell points out that “I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin”.

Starting Positon: Start standing fully behind window, holding the map in both hands outside the window. When ready say “I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin”.

Procedure:
ATB, Using pistols, engage pistol targets with three rounds on each outside target, and two rounds on each inside target. Target order is shooters choice. Holster and move to table. Repeat pistol instructions with rifle. Replace rifle on table and with shotgun, engage shotgun targets in any order.

STAGE 6
John, Russell and the girls take the EM50 to the boarder of the Apache nation. Using the girls as a distraction, John, takes two braves prisoner. Russell askes John, “Does the phrase “Act of war” mean anything to you?”. John replies “I have a plan”. Russell points out that “Custer had a plan too”. Dressing up like the braves, they ride into the Apache village, break out their friends, and escape. Once they return to the fort, they are declared heroes and are promoted.

Starting Position – Start standing fully behind the rifle Holding the toy gun with both hands as if firing. When ready, say the line. “Custer had a plan too”.

Procedure:
ATB. Knock down shotgun targets in any order. Replace shotgun from where staged and move to position fully behind rifle. Engage Rifle targets in a Nevada sweep from either direction. Replace rifle on table and move to a position fully behind the window. Using pistols, engage the pistol targets in a continuous Nevada sweep from either direction. Reholster.

We got tired of all of our young pups missing movie references so we've posted a list and brought in movies for them to take home to watch.

This months list: Blazing Saddles (wanted to go ahead and rip the scab off quickly), Airplane, Caddyshack, and Stripes.

Last month was Young Frankenstein, Ghost Busters, Back to School, and The Blues Brothers.

We are going to pound some culture into these kids...

So far they actually like it.

quote:

Originally posted by mark_a:
We got tired of all of our young pups missing movie references so we've posted a list and brought in movies for them to take home to watch.

This months list: Blazing Saddles (wanted to go ahead and rip the scab off quickly), Airplane, Caddyshack, and Stripes.

Last month was Young Frankenstein, Ghost Busters, Back to School, and The Blues Brothers.

We are going to pound some culture into these kids...

So far they actually like it.

I'm with you! Don't forget Animal House!

I spent the whole day at Corpus Christie. I was very disappointed. There was nobody there.

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.