A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”


The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”


The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband!  Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said,  “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

HA! Funny man.

H&K-Guy

This was one of Buddy Hackett's favorite jokes:

A guy walks back to the pharmacy counter and asks to speak with a male pharmacist.

The woman behind the counter said, "I resent that. I'm a licensed pharmacist and so is my sister. We own this store and are just as competent as any male pharmacist."

"No, it's just that this is kind of a male problem." He pointed to a gigantic erection in his pants. "It's been like this for over four hours. Is there anything that you can give me for it"?

The woman said, "Let me confer with my sister."

She returned in a few minutes and said, "We can give you $10,000 in cash and a third interest in the store."

Speaking of Buddy Hackett, y'all might like this one (NSFW):


Link to original video: https://youtu.be/MF5Y8kB824E

That had to be a Publix Pharmacy...and did she have a friend named Susan