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I believe in the
principle of
Due Process
Picture of JALLEN
posted
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone, there are starving kids in China!"

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado hit it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You get that from your fathers side."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"




Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.

When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson

"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
 
Posts: 48369 | Location: Texas hill country | Registered: July 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
This was cool, I laughed at a few, I can relate to this from both ends.
 
Posts: 1491 | Registered: December 03, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not really from Vienna
Picture of arfmel
posted Hide Post
Forwarded. Smile
 
Posts: 26852 | Location: Jerkwater, Texas | Registered: January 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
posted Hide Post
They forgot one.

FEAR:
"Just wait until you father gets home."


________________________________________________________
"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
 
Posts: 19975 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I Am The Walrus
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Gustofer:
They forgot one.

FEAR:
"Just wait until you father gets home."


Oh that was the worst one, especially if he came home and was quiet and did't say anything to you. He knew, you knew he knew... Big Grin


_____________

 
Posts: 13047 | Registered: March 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Muzzle flash
aficionado
Picture of flashguy
posted Hide Post
I can relate to all of them. Unfortunately, too many of those lessons are not being given these days....

flashguy




Texan by choice, not accident of birth
 
Posts: 27902 | Location: Dallas, TX | Registered: May 08, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Joie de vivre
Picture of sig229-SAS
posted Hide Post
Oh yeah, I remember being told and telling many of those... very good.
 
Posts: 3848 | Location: 1,960' up in Murphy, NC | Registered: January 29, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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