quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

quote:

Originally posted by KMitch200:
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this, I really don't know what to say."

This.

Semantics, but a thought -- keep in mind that they love this baby, and so be careful not to frame it about them, but to show in the context of your words tenderness and sorrow for the child.

I agree, there's nothing to say.

My prayers for the child and your family.

That's terrible. I don't think there are words. Will say a prayer for your brother, his wife, and the little one.

Prayers sent for your family. I am so very sorry.

First off, I'm very sorry to hear this. It's tough on everyone *you included), but in different ways.

My wife and I had some difficulty when we were first trying to start a family. 2 miscarriages, with the second requiring medical intervention. That was tough.

I know what not to say, after having heard some rather inappropriate things. Avoid the 'Better luck next time', or 'It wasn't meant to be' (unless you are strong in your faith). My least favorite came from my sister, who only texted 'I have no frame of reference with this sort of situation.' While it is true, there was not a hint of compassion in there.

Above all, the worst is when someone says nothing, and doesn't acknowledge the pain you are going through or offer to help you with your burden despite knowing what is going on. You don't have to do everything, just acknowledge the situation and the child. Everything else is secondary to them right now.

I'll get off my soap box now, and will be thinking about you and your brother's family. May you all find the solace you need.

Agreeing with Graniteer.

AVOID:

• You'll have more
• They're in a better place
• Time will heal the wounds
• You'll have to leg to and move on
• Everything happens for a reason
• At least...
• Be thankful...
• I know how you feel

Things to say

• Do you want to talk?
• I remember the time when...
• I mowed the lawn
• I’m going to run errands now—is there anything I can pick up or do for you
• Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal
• Don’t feel guilty because you laughed today

When we lost our son the best were those who were there for us and didn't shy away. Those that watched the baby (Our two year old drowned, our second son was 12 weeks old.) so we could rest and grieve. Those that did the household chores or mowed the lawn. Those that brought basic needs such as food, toiletries, paper plates. Things that helped ease our day to day burdens. Think about starting a meal drive on Take Them a Meal.. Think about starting a GoFundMe for expenses.

Suggest counseling and/or grief groups. (They've really helped us)
I highly suggest this book for your brother. It is very good.

Above all else BE THERE FOR THEM, CRY WITH THEM.

Wow. There isn't much you can say. Give them your love and support as best you can.

I'm so sorry to hear. Prayers sent.

that really sucks

tough news for anyone

I wouldn't say anything, but just be there for your brother and his wife - be an anchor for them because they're going to need it

that will say more than words

I've been in a position similar to yours, and good luck led me to best response I think you can give:

How can I help?

Pray for your brother, your sister-in-law and your new niece/nephew. Love on them and be there for them, unconditionally.

I have no doubt that you will be there.



.

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
Lord have mercy. My heart goes out to all.

Amen.

tac

hold them both in your arms

I'm so sorry. Prayers sent to all.

Thanks all, I appreciate the thoughts, advice, and prayers for all involved.

The original diagnosis was confirmed today by s specialist. Additionally, the specialist also diagnosed cleft lip and palate as well as a hole in the heart.

They of course suggested termination but that's not something anyone in our family would consider, my sister in law included.

The big concern at this point is possible rush to momma if baby goes into fetal cardiac distress, I guess.

A gentleman in my town passed away several years ago. He was in his sixties and was well known so his widow had alot of support with food and sympathy etc.

One act that I thought was particularly thoughtful was a neighbor, cut her grass every few weeks for several months. He never said anything, never asked. He just knew the deceased had always taken care of his yard, so he would show up with his lawnmower, cut her grass, pack up and go. I thought it was an extremely kind and humble gesture.

Water broke yesterday, several months early. No progression on labor overnight so they are trying induction medication, but might end up C section. I haven't heard if Baby Abigail is still alive up until now. Hard day for the family. I'm sure they appreciate any prayers. Thanks all.

In my prayers.

I'm not normally the praying type of fella, but I will be tonight. I'm sure your brother and his wife will appreciate your being family.

Prayers sent.