Florida man slaps girlfriend with cheeseburger, deputies say
Yeah. FLORIDUH.
MARTIN COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida man is under arrest after reportedly slapping his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger.
According to the Martin County Sheriff’s Office Facebook page, 30-year-old Kyle Jamison Jones “wanted it his way.”
Jones’ live-in girlfriend called police and said Jones woke her up abruptly by slapping her in the face with a cheeseburger, according to the post. She told police Jones then pulled her hair and kicked her down the stairs.
Jones reportedly admitted only to a verbal dispute, despite the food particles visible on the victim. He was charged with battery and taken to the Martin County Jail.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
May 15, 2019, 04:02 PM
HRK
It would have been perfect FLMan Article if the report had said
"FL man slaps girlfriend in face with his Whopper"
May 15, 2019, 04:08 PM
Perception
Anyone who wants to hit me with a cheeseburger can do so at any time. Preferably around mealtimes, but I guess I cant be too picky.
"The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." "Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy." "I did," said Ford, "it is." "So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?" "It honestly doesn't occur to them. They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates the government they want." "You mean they actually vote for the lizards." "Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course." "But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?" "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, then the wrong lizard might get in."
May 15, 2019, 04:21 PM
rusbro
Good ol' Florida.
May 15, 2019, 05:05 PM
mrvmax
What a waste of a cheeseburger.
May 15, 2019, 05:18 PM
0658
Why is this stuff always from Florida and New Jersey??
Oh!I forgot is is because there are so many people from New Jersey in Florida
May 15, 2019, 05:41 PM
HRK
quote:
Originally posted by 0658: Why is this stuff always from Florida and New Jersey??
Oh!I forgot is is because there are so many people from New Jersey in Florida
Because all the other states hide this stuff on the back pages, whereas FL like to be a leader!
May 15, 2019, 05:42 PM
cas
quote:
Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL: slapping his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger.
I'm strangely both turned on and hungry.
_____________________________________________________ Sliced bread, the greatest thing since the 1911.
May 15, 2019, 06:43 PM
a1abdj
quote:
woke her up abruptly by slapping her in the face with a cheeseburger,
Defense: That was not a cheeseburger ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's Impossible!
