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Do you say, “Thank you,” for small favors? Login/Join 
Freethinker
Picture of sigfreund
posted
Most people around the world don’t. It’s such a common thing in my experience that it never occurred to me that most people wouldn’t express gratitude for small acts of kindness. From the science journal Nature:

“‘Thank you’ has little currency worldwide

“Scientists who eavesdropped on nearly 1,000 conversations around the world report that people who receive favours rarely say ‘thank you’.

“To test that idea, Simeon Floyd at San Francisco University of Quito in Ecuador and his colleagues obtained informed consent to install cameras equipped with microphones in homes and public spaces on five continents, allowing the researchers to record conversations in eight languages.

“The team recorded almost 1,000 examples of people asking for a favour — such as a request for a cigarette — and receiving it. In only 5.5% of those cases did the recipient express appreciation with either words or a gesture. Speakers of Cha’palaa, an unwritten language spoken in Ecuador, did not once express thanks in 97 exchanges that included a favour being requested and granted.

“The results indicate that explicit gratitude is not a universal social currency. Instead, people help each other on the assumption that others will help them.”

Link




6.4/93.6

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
— Plato
 
Posts: 47410 | Location: 10,150 Feet Above Sea Level in Colorado | Registered: April 04, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Wait, what?
Picture of gearhounds
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I ask for nothing, but always do little things like hold doors for strangers, pull shopping carts out of the stack for older folk, stuff like that. I can’t think of the last time someone didn’t say “thanks” when I do, so I guess that applies here.

When I find people doing these little things for me, it’s always “thank you sir” or “ma’am”. Always. I’m happy to see my boy, 11, rushing to open doors at stores for folks too.




“Remember to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from a virus they got vaccinated against because you’re not vaccinated.” - author unknown
 
Posts: 15573 | Location: Martinsburg WV | Registered: April 02, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Don't Panic
Picture of joel9507
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Yes, I say 'thanks'. I also say 'please' and 'could you' rather than 'will you' when asking for things. Folks being helpful get addressed as 'Sir' or Ma'am', whether they are being paid to help or are being kind on their own.

Good manners and etiquette have been described as the lubrication of polite society. What happens to things that run too long without lubrication?
 
Posts: 15027 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: October 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No Compromise
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Emily Post would not survive in today's 'polite society'.

A society can be measured by how it treats it's prisoners, feels about freedom, and has genuine love of neighbor.

H&K-Guy
 
Posts: 3720 | Registered: April 08, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
It's not you,
it's me.
Picture of RAMIUS
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Hell, I say please and thank you when it's not even needed. How I was brought up.

I literally have to force myself not to say thank you at times.
 
Posts: 7016 | Location: Right outside Philly | Registered: September 08, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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I try to say thank you for small favors even though I rarely ask for anything.

I usually say I appreciate it, or if I am responding to someone I say Not a problem, or anytime.

I especially say thanks when someone holds a door for me. It is such a rare act, you could be right behind someone and they will close it in your face, but that could be a whole different thread.

I was raised to be polite, and thank full for any and all small deeds/favors.
 
Posts: 1836 | Location: In NC trying to get back to VA | Registered: March 03, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of rtquig
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Always. Even for the smallest of things like " can I borrow your pen for a second". I can't say if it was ingrained in my by my parents on nuns, but to this day it is please and thank you.
One time while transporting concrete trucks from LA. to NJ one of my drivers inquired why I always said please and thank you to our waitress while eating in Georgia. A few months later the same driver told me he noticed he got a lot better service, and the servers treated him nicer.


Living the Dream
 
Posts: 4015 | Location: New Jersey | Registered: December 06, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mensch
Picture of kz1000
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Always. It's how I was raised.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris
 
Posts: 16120 | Location: Ivorydale | Registered: January 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
thin skin can't win
Picture of Georgeair
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Absolutely. Goes along with "yes sir"....



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

 
Posts: 12415 | Location: Madison, MS | Registered: December 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
E tan e epi tas
Picture of cslinger
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Absolutely and my daughter is being raised the same way.


"Guns are tools. The only weapon ever created was man."
 
Posts: 7681 | Location: On the water | Registered: July 25, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I learned manners from my folks a lifetime ago.
 
Posts: 5768 | Location: west 'by god' virginia | Registered: May 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
God will always provide
Picture of Fla. Jim
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As a American by birth and a Southerner by the Grace of God! I always am courteous and so are my offspring. I also do not allow myself to be stepped on. I do turn away from idiots and the mentally deranged of which sometimes there seems to be an abundance. And less face the truth, You just can't fix Stupid! Just part of my heritage.
 
Posts: 4410 | Location: White City, Florida | Registered: January 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
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I believe I'm in the habit of automatically thanking people for small favours. I'm not so good with "please," though.



"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
 
Posts: 26009 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lead slingin'
Parrot Head
Picture of Modern Day Savage
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Over the years I'm certain I've probably missed opportunities to do so but yes, I believe in thanking someone for their time and efforts...it seems such a simple and respectful courtesy. In fact it bothers me when I see someone who fails to thank someone else for a favor or who fails to teach their child this simple courtesy.

However I don't give gifts or do favors for others with the expectation that they thank me. It is appreciated when they do but I won't request or expect it.

I readily admit that I do judge a person partly on whether they use "please" and "thank you" and other respectful acts.

I will say that I am exceedingly bad at sending "Thank You" notes when etiquette would dictate they be sent. After a party when gifts were received or after a job interview. Part of this is simple laziness on my part, but also because I far prefer to thank someone verbally and in person.

I recently had the opportunity to thank someone who I had never personally met but who had done me (and another family member) a series of professional favors several years ago. She was somewhat taken back when I thanked her and hugged her.
 
Posts: 7324 | Location: the Centennial state | Registered: August 21, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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absolutely

positive reinforcement and all that

---------------------------------


Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
 
Posts: 8940 | Location: Florida | Registered: September 20, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Too old to run,
too mean to quit!
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I hold doors for people. About half the time they say "thanks".

I always try to say thanks to people who do things for me, like holding the door or sending me ahead in the checkout lane when I have only 1 or 2 items.

Common courtesy is way too uncommon these days. Not sure why, but probably due to their upbringing.


Elk

There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville

FBHO!!!



The Idaho Elk Hunter
 
Posts: 25643 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 16, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I always do.
 
Posts: 3718 | Registered: August 13, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I always do. That's the way I was raised and that's the way we raised our daughter. That's the way she and our SIL raised their 3 sons and people notice. I have had several of my grandson's teachers make it a point come to me tell it was a pleasure to teach them because they were always saying "yes ma'am" & "no ma'am" and "Thank you".

I always thought that was the way everyone talked but I guess it's not.


_________

Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

Henry Ford
 
Posts: 726 | Location: Texas | Registered: October 16, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of sig sailor
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I read an article not long ago that said the three most important words for a happy relationship between a husband and wife were please and thank you. It has worked well for my wife and I for 44 years. Not because we are so smart, but because that is how we were raised. The other day as I was leaving a gas station a young man of about 7 or 8 years of age rushed to open and hold the door for me. I said thank you kind sir, and received a huge smile and a you're welcome. As I passed his mother I said softly, well done Momma and received another huge smile.
Rod


"Do not approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction." John Deacon, Author

I asked myself if I was crazy, and we all said no.
 
Posts: 1683 | Location: Between Rock & Hard Place (Pontiac & Detroit) | Registered: December 22, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
God will always provide
Picture of Fla. Jim
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Just remembered a not so funny incident my oldest daughter had with a college teacher while getting her doctorate degree. When my mid 30's daughter would answer "Her" it was always Yes Ma'am Or No Ma'am. Her teacher being from a Northern rearing climate, told her if she did not stop that she would fail her! This after my daughter told "Her" it was ingrained and a sign of respect! Another Lass in the same class was under the same edict. It was so ingrained she had to work really hard to not be courteous. It did teach her to think before replying.
 
Posts: 4410 | Location: White City, Florida | Registered: January 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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