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Sig Forum member story for the end of 2018. It was a hot and muggy night... Login/Join 
A Grateful American
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as the reality of the truth that you can tune piano in a Pinto, but you can't tuna fish in a Speedwagon.




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
 
Posts: 39249 | Location: fl | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
It's not easy being me
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So, since I was runnin' blind, I couldn't decide whether it was better to roll with the changes,...or it was time for me to fly...


_______________________________________
Flammable, Inflammable, or Nonflammable.......
Hell, either it Flams or it doesn't!! (George Carlin)
 
Posts: 2385 | Location: Middle TN | Registered: March 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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I then realized that diahrea was genetic. I runs in my jeans and that was why grandpa always smelled like the ouuthouse. Knowing this I started looking for the Thai lady...I just knew she must have an answer.


****************************************************W5SCM
"We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution" - Abraham Lincoln

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go" - Abraham Lincoln
 
Posts: 1026 | Location: Little Rock, AR | Registered: January 22, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Then the damn clutch went out. But as luck would have there was a suburban left running with the drivers door open and full tank of gas. And I was done with the hooker so the arrow was pointing up all the sudden.




"Practice like you want to play in the game"
 
Posts: 13618 | Registered: September 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Circling the bowl
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Obnoxious mariachi music was blaring from the system as I slammed the door, dropped it into gear and mashed the accelerator.
 
Posts: 4904 | Location: Manteca, CA | Registered: May 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
goodheart
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Except it wasn’t the system, it was an actual mariachi band in the back of the frickin’ Suburban. And I was headed right for the Border Patrol inspection station.


_________________________
“Little else is requisite to carry a state to the highest degree of opulence from the lowest barbarism but peace, easy taxes, and a tolerable administration of justice: all the rest being brought about by the natural course of things.”--Adam Smith, born June 16, 1723
 
Posts: 15003 | Location: One hop from Paradise | Registered: July 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Master of one hand
pistol shooting
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The Mariachi band was playing a song with lyrics I had never heard. "Miralax. In Meheeco you no need Miralax.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
NRA Benefactor CMP Pistol Distinguished
 
Posts: 4980 | Location: Duckburg, OR | Registered: September 01, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
If you see me running
try to keep up
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Just as I grabbed a pistol to shoot the Mariachi band I woke up out of that crazy dream. Too much Taco Bell too late at night. It was now 7 a.m. and I was late for The People’s Court and Judge Wapner was not going to be happy. This would be the third case of mine this year he was hearing.
 
Posts: 2710 | Location: Friendswood Texas | Registered: August 24, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
SIG's 'n Surefires
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At least he would be hearing. This head congestion on top of the tinnitus was...murder.



"Common sense is wisdom with its sleeves rolled up." -Kyle Farnsworth
"Freedom of Speech does not guarantee freedom from consequences." Mike Rowe
NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 6476 | Location: IL, due south of the Arch | Registered: April 20, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Turns out the ringing in my ear was the horn from the car behind me. I was concentrating something else. It wasn't a dream and now I had four dead Mariachi musicians in the back of a suburban no where to dispose of the bodies.


_____________________________________________
I may be a bad person, but at least I use my turn signal.
 
Posts: 4406 | Location: Florida | Registered: March 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
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The ringing reminded me of my old school days and my favorite teacher. "Is she out of prison, yet?" I wondered, as I shook another coffin nail out and fished for my Zippo.




"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe

The "mainstream media" is no more mainstream than leftists are liberals.
 
Posts: 15509 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Cruising the
Highway to Hell
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All of a sudden, Kegger showed up to help with the bodies.




“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.”
― Ronald Reagan

The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the positions, strategies or opinions of my employer.
 
Posts: 5845 | Location: Near the Beaverdam in VA | Registered: February 13, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Let's be careful
out there
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and three blacked out Suburbans appeared out of the gloom, hideaway red and blues flashing. A tiny woman in a tyvex suit, with a star-shaped scar on her head seemed to be in charge.
 
Posts: 7047 | Location: NW OHIO | Registered: May 29, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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"I am lookink vor Moose and Skwedl!" Natasha exclaimed. We tried to keep the police busy by getting the Porter and Jick memo out there as much as we could, but didn't think it would lead to our pilot overdosing before takeoff. Lucky us, Rocky was the copilot. Bullwinkle was hiding under the tarp. Boris realized this after we were in the air.



My other Sig is a Steyr...
 
Posts: 4308 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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You've not lived till you have had to take a shit at 9000ft with only you flying and a moose and a squirrel as cargo. That taco bell was not a good idea before flying out of Sedona.


Regards,

P.
 
Posts: 923 | Location: Alabama | Registered: May 20, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knowing is Half the Battle
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Then out of nowhere I hit a deer with the Suburban and the airbags deployed, leaving me stranded with the dead band and circled by three murdered out Suburbans. "What am I going to tell State Farm, twice in one year? And I'm still waiting on that headliner from October."
 
Posts: 1930 | Location: Iowa by way of Missouri | Registered: July 18, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Turns out it was a reindeer and I had to put the plane down in a stew field.
 
Posts: 5416 | Location: MI | Registered: May 22, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Momma told me not to come.



"I'm sorry, did I break your concentration"?
 
Posts: 1255 | Location: Above water | Registered: September 16, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Circling the bowl
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Thinking of Momma, she sure did bake the tastiest gay cake.
 
Posts: 4904 | Location: Manteca, CA | Registered: May 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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quote:
Originally posted by Shifferbrains:
Thinking of Momma, she sure did bake the tastiest gay cake.

But that's when it hit me. V-tail. Wishfull Thinker. There's something...
They shared the same Birthday!
That can only mean...
 
Posts: 5416 | Location: MI | Registered: May 22, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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