My only Christmas wish would be for TSM11's Mom to get better. My MIL is fighting mesothelioma and frequently in a lot of pain from it. She has been getting treatment which is helping. But to what end? Cancer is an EVIL bitch. I *HATE* that my wife has to be a witness to it all. She and her sister's are angels in my book for being strong enough to be my MIL's caretakers when she needs help. What sucks is just 3 years ago my MIL would run us ragged walking through the casino to go for their buffet. Now on bad days she is a shadow of her former self. On good days, I see the spark and the heart and the DRIVE to beat this disease. But it's getting harder and harder for her.

What kill's me is I have watched TSM11 go thru exactly this with 2 of her best friends. One Mary Katherine died of pancreatic cancer. About the last year or so TSM11 went there daily and was there when she took her last breath. Her other best friend Ceil died from a lung disease. TSM11 wasn't there at the time of her death but was there frequently towards the end and made it shortly afterwards to say goodbye. TSM11 used to be a paramedic so death wasn't foreign to her. But the death of such close friends and what has to be the impending death or her mother is a deeply personal thing. Hell, TSM11 was there when her Dad coded and, being the paramedic she was, SHE started the code, breathing for him with the ambu-bag before the nurses and doctors could get there. Unfortunately, with his cardiac history his heart just wasn't stong enough and he didn't make it. Yet, TSM11 stood out of the way and watched her father die right before her eyes and couldn't stop or fix it. Like me, a mechanic, as a paramedic she was trained and skilled at fixing things. Sometimes those "things" just can't be fixed and IT SUCKS.

I'm sorry to be a Debbie Downer but I would give anything, ANYTHING to be able to "fix" her Mom, my MIL, to take just a little hurt, pain and heartache away from my wife. TSM11 is my wife, my lover and my soul mate. I so hate to see the pain in her eyes while she puts on a happy face and trudges thru her day to day life. She has been caring for her mom and hasn't been home for more than a few nights a week in the last year because she's been with her mom. While I certainly miss my wife everyday she isn't here I wouldn't have it any other way. I still remember THAT feeling when I saw my mom in the hospital bed and KNEW that it was the end and I couldn't do a fucking thing to change that. So I support my wife knowing that at some point I will be there to hold her and pick up the pieces when in the future, near or far, by cancer's hand or otherwise when her mom passes. It's all I can do at this point.

While I'm faithful, my wife even more so, my MIL is deeply religious. We're all Catholic and seeing the emotional pain my wife and the physical pain my MIL is going thru has me questioning the "why" aspect of life and God right now. Again, guys, I'm sorry to be a downer. This particular thread just struck a nerve tonight. Christmas is usually my favorite holiday too.

Out of debt

quote:

Originally posted by Oz_Shadow:
My wife has been bugging me about this. Like a lot of you, if I want something I typically buy it if it is comfortably within our means.

Apparently this makes it hard for my wife to buy for me for Christmas. I know some couples skip the presents, but we rather enjoy it. It's just us two and the dog.

It looks like we are going to skip gifts this year. There's nothing my wife wants and I feel I've gotten enough new toys in the four months since I retired, incl. a kick-butt new-to-me Jeep, that Christmas gifts for me would seem excessive.

We have the place decorated. We'll watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music. Maybe go to midnight Mass. Enjoy the spirit of the season

Really nothing for me. Happy for what I have.

The only real wish I have, going to sound stupid to some but not to me. For good weather on Christmas Eve. See, I go "ghost chasing" as I call it. After all festivities are over, everyone has left I go out alone. Have some coffee with me, just driving. And the Sirius radio. Going by places I have lived, places I spent my youth, homes we raised our kids, just remembering people, places and events past. Well, as many as practical, can't travel to the southwest that night, but those memories still come back to me.

I do this for a couple, maybe three hours. Cell phone off, just me and my memories. Oh, and a coffee or two........

My wish is that the Neurologist has an answer other than meds / pain management !

That is all

A hand-written note from the gal I'm dancing with, as we shuffle towards GF & BF ...

quote:

Originally posted by hudr:
Out of debt

Xmas 2018 for me. I will only have a mortgage by then. Last payment will be 12/22/18.

For it to quickly become March or April. As I am usually the only single guy in the room with whatever group I am with, I really hate the holidays.

a better cell phone
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Alcat...Mobile/dp/B00FDS1IQE

this thing is , less than desirable.

I really do not require gobs of bells ,whistles, knobs, buttons and "aps" etc.

If I had half of a clue, I 'd spend a $100.00.

I wouldn't begin to understand a really complicated phone

For the 2nd time ever, I convinced my family to come to Houston for Christmas and New Years. Therefore, my wish list is:

Ice and snow free roads between the Upper Midwest and Houston

Golf weather in Houston

---

Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.

quote:

Originally posted by wolfe 21:
For it to quickly become March or April. As I am usually the only single guy in the room with whatever group I am with, I really hate the holidays.

That's me too, except I enjoy the holiday season. I rarely partake in very much of it, but it provides a nice diversion from all the shit going on in the world. I do have family but it's parents and siblings and nieces and a nephew. None of us wants much, and what we do want tends to be more expensive stuff that we really need to buy for ourselves anyway. So we get together and have a good time and exchange little stuff - gift cards, books, a good bottle of scotch for Dad, stuff like that.

I did take advantage of some of the Black Friday sales and picked up the flat screen HD TV that I've been promising myself for two years now (to finally replace my old CRT set ), and the makings for a good first aid / trauma kit for the truck.

Stack-On Total Defense 40-Gun Fireproof Gun Safe
Its waiting on Santa in my spare room to be filled with new toys!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by hudr:
Out of debt

Right there with you, buddy

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
For the 2nd time ever, I convinced my family to come to Houston for Christmas and New Years. Therefore, my wish list is:

Ice and snow free roads between the Upper Midwest and Houston

Golf weather in Houston

Given the last couple years as reference, good chances there.

I want to get into reloading, so maybe a Dillon press of some sort.

I already bought my own Christmas present. A BEAUTIFUL damascus knife with a burl handle, mosaic pins and the smiths name (Cook) in what appears to be silver or chrome inlaid in the blade. (could be silver sharpie for all I know)

I blame in on watching Forged in Fire.

The wife will buy her own too usually.
Often I get, "This is what you bought me for Christmas" as she walks in the door. We don't go nuts and kill the credit cards - I got the knife 25% off at the member only sale at my indoor range.

Nothing. I'm satisfied.

A place to live.

I did this - 50th Wedding anniversary this month and Christmas - For my wife, a very recoil sensitive lady - I can't lose. Yes I just bought it last week and want to give it to her today - but I'm fighting the urge. If she hates it - Oh well.

Bought myself a CMC trigger in the Black Friday PSA sale. Things are a bit tight this year so that'll be it for me. MIL is terminally ill so we are spending a bunch on travel between FL and MI. Family will buy plenty of plastic junk for the girls (2 and 6) and we have already bought them a couple of things. So I just need to come up with a small but meaningful something for the wife.