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I believe in the
principle of
Due Process
Picture of JALLEN
posted
Hi Fred.
This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you by email as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that is no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
Regards, Alan

THE RESPONSE:

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He sat down at his computer, where he saw he has a second message from his neighbor.

THE SECOND MESSAGE:

Hi Fred.
This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last email. I expect you figured it out anyway and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey?
Regards, Alan




Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.

When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson

"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
 
Posts: 42129 | Location: Texas hill country | Registered: July 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No Compromise
posted Hide Post
I give it two chuckles out of five. And the second chuckle is just for effort.

It's not quite AirSoftGuy funny. More like somewhere between Bendable funny, and Shugart funny.

H&K-Guy
 
Posts: 2550 | Registered: April 08, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of thezoltar
posted Hide Post
Aw, come on that's at least a four chuckle


======
...welcome to the barnyard...
 
Posts: 831 | Location: Utah | Registered: May 29, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Well it is a crime to steal someone's wifi. Hmmmm.
 
Posts: 2235 | Location: MS GULF COAST | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drug Dealer
Picture of Jim Shugart
posted Hide Post
Tough crowd tonight, huh?



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
 
Posts: 12683 | Location: Virginia | Registered: July 03, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chip away the stone
Picture of rusbro
posted Hide Post
PS: Did you know your wife goes down on me every night?
 
Posts: 9079 | Registered: August 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No Compromise
posted Hide Post
Fear not gang, Jallen will be here all week.

And don't forget to tip your waitress.

H&K-Guy
 
Posts: 2550 | Registered: April 08, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of konata88
posted Hide Post
What's the problem. The whole block is using his wife. His wife is the one broadcasting services renderable.




"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - B.Franklin
"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
 
Posts: 6377 | Location: In the gilded cage | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Pipe Smoker
posted Hide Post
I give it five stars, and I'm stealing it.




Cognition?
On.
 
Posts: 2025 | Location: San Diego | Registered: July 26, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
My wife is locked down so solid, sometimes I can't even get connected!
 
Posts: 529 | Registered: November 07, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
E Pluribus Unum
Picture of JRC
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Outnumbered:
My wife is locked down so solid, sometimes I can't even get connected!

Big Grin
 
Posts: 1234 | Location: Minnesota | Registered: March 05, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
Picture of nhtagmember
posted Hide Post
stolen for future use Smile

I give it 4 guffaws out of five



Peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather when you have your foot firmly on the enemies neck

"I'm only myself when I have a guitar in my hands." - George Harrison


 
Posts: 44813 | Location: Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Too soon old,
too late smart
posted Hide Post
Well, someone here did say that Auto-Correct was his worst enema.
 
Posts: 3603 | Location: Southern Texas | Registered: May 17, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted Hide Post
Auto-correct makes you say things you didn't Nintendo.


 
Posts: 19082 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I started with nothing,
and still have most of it
Picture of stiab
posted Hide Post
Here's a funnier one from Rodney Dangerfield: My wife recently limited me to having sex with her only three times a month. But I don't feel too bad, I know four other guys that she cut out completely!!


"While not every Democrat is a horse thief, every horse thief is a Democrat." HORACE GREELEY
 
Posts: 1442 | Location: Central NC | Registered: May 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Have any naked pictures of your wife?
No?
Want to buy some?
Smile
I crack myself up!


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 5283 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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