|I believe in the|
This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you by email as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that is no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He sat down at his computer, where he saw he has a second message from his neighbor.
THE SECOND MESSAGE:
This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last email. I expect you figured it out anyway and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey?
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
I give it two chuckles out of five. And the second chuckle is just for effort.
It's not quite AirSoftGuy funny. More like somewhere between Bendable funny, and Shugart funny.
Aw, come on that's at least a four chuckle
...welcome to the barnyard...
Well it is a crime to steal someone's wifi. Hmmmm.
Tough crowd tonight, huh?
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
|Chip away the stone|
PS: Did you know your wife goes down on me every night?
Fear not gang, Jallen will be here all week.
And don't forget to tip your waitress.
What's the problem. The whole block is using his wife. His wife is the one broadcasting services renderable.
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - B.Franklin
"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
I give it five stars, and I'm stealing it.
My wife is locked down so solid, sometimes I can't even get connected!
|E Pluribus Unum|
stolen for future use
I give it 4 guffaws out of five
Peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather when you have your foot firmly on the enemies neck
"I'm only myself when I have a guitar in my hands." - George Harrison
|Too soon old, |
too late smart
Well, someone here did say that Auto-Correct was his worst enema.
|His diet consists of black|
coffee, and sarcasm.
Auto-correct makes you say things you didn't Nintendo.
"My wife is dragging me to this stupid play. Somebody please shoot me."
-- Abraham Lincoln
|I started with nothing,|
and still have most of it
Here's a funnier one from Rodney Dangerfield: My wife recently limited me to having sex with her only three times a month. But I don't feel too bad, I know four other guys that she cut out completely!!
"While not every Democrat is a horse thief, every horse thief is a Democrat." HORACE GREELEY
Have any naked pictures of your wife?
Want to buy some?
I crack myself up!
End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
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