One of the only good things about getting old is not having to care what comes out of your mouth.

I watched Grand Torino again yesterday. I really love that movie because of how much Clint's character reminds me of me.

Talk to your father. Ask him why he does what he does. Listen to him. Caution him if it's warranted. Be prepared to step back - or forward.

As far as some of the ages mentioned they are young'uns.

I am a in my late 70's served a few tours of duty in Nam, retired as a teamster with 20 plus year pension, retired from PA state adult corrections after 21 years with another pension, on social security and still working part time to keep busy (3 to 5 days weekly.

I have supported myself since I was 16 years old and never accepted or asked for a hand out in my life.

I have paid my dues to this world and don't give a shit about what is the accepted norms.
I do my thing and want to be left alone. My adult children know better than to try to correct my behavior; I raised them, supported them, and to this day if they need any type of help they come to old dad.

quote:

I watched Grand Torino again yesterday. I really love that movie because of how much Clint's character reminds me of me.

Speaking of people who's behavior changed with cancer.

Dr. Axe's email today contained three articles on dementia:

8 Surprising Ways to Lower Your Dementia Risk

https://draxe.com/health/brain...ign=20190814_curated

15 Brain Foods to Boost Focus and Memory

https://draxe.com/nutrition/ar...ign=20190814_curated

9 Popular Drugs Linked to Dementia and Memory Loss

https://draxe.com/health/brain...ign=20190814_curated

There is a much longer story behind it, but for our purposes, my dad developed paranoia from excessive medications and interactions between them. When he was taken (some required "weaning") off most of them he went back to pretty much his old self. Any possibility of this in yours?

They did my father in by giving him grapefruit juice. It has an enzyme that makes the medications from 5 to 10 times the dose.

I left for two days to check my mail and pay some bills and when I got back he was in a coma and died two days later.

Grapefruit juice or grapefruits shouldn't even be on the premises. I had told a nurse several times but they ignored me.

I remember going out to lunch with my boss and his father (92), when I was in my mid 20's. I kinda started giggling when I saw the old man looking up the cute waitresses. He looked over at me and said "What??? Old rats like cheese too".

quote:

Originally posted by 41:

They did my father in by giving him grapefruit juice. It has an enzyme that makes the medications from 5 to 10 times the dose.

I left for two days to check my mail and pay some bills and when I got back he was in a coma and died two days later.

Grapefruit juice or grapefruits shouldn't even be on the premises. I had told a nurse several times but they ignored me.

I always liked a cold glass of grapefruit juice to start the day. When statins were prescribed for me for cholesterol, the pharmacist warned me that as of that moment, grapefruit was verboten. Orange juice is OK, but I don't find it as refreshing.

quote:

Originally posted by egregore:
There is a much longer story behind it, but for our purposes, my dad developed paranoia from excessive medications and interactions between them. When he was taken (some required "weaning") off most of them he went back to pretty much his old self. Any possibility of this in yours?

I don't know all his meds, but I'll find out. This is a good suggestion (as are many in this thread). THANKS!!!

quote:

Originally posted by 41:
They did my father in by giving him grapefruit juice. It has an enzyme that makes the medications from 5 to 10 times the dose.

I don't THINK my dad likes grapefruit, but I do remember having it a lot as a kid so I'll check on this. I don't think he's on statins, but he might be based on other things.

A thorough review of his meds and his diet appears to be a MUST!!! THANKS!!!

James in Denver

Full consultation with an internist or geriatrician including MRI of brain.

Exclude medications, interactions, brain tumors, Picks disease etc.

Don't play around with supplements without direct medical advice or advice from people who make money peddling promises.

If all checks out fine and he just likes his new attitude then you have an additional choice but the odds of an actual cause for this are too high to rely on an internet board for management.

My $0.02

Your father is 85, has diagnosed Parkinson and likely some other things starting. Two perspectives on this situation

Yours:
You see your dad as an older version of who he's always been. But inside, he isn't who he has always been. He's changing and it seems like one of the things that goes first is that social filter. That's always been in there, as it likely is with most of us, but our filter stops it. His filter is weakening but he doesn't realize it. Tell him doesn't help because he can't process it like he used to in years past.

It was like the little old man in the rest home where my grandmother was whose wife had died years ago. But he kept trying to escape to go take her to dinner. His family kept explaining that she was dead, and he would get all upset thinking it had just happened. Ten minutes later he'd be back to trying to take her to dinner. y girlfriend had to counsel them a bit as they were just upsetting him for no reason. It won't sink in. Likewise what you're saying to him probably isn't sinking in either

Care Giver perspective:
This sort of goes with the territory. Back in my Fire Service days we had some frequent fliers, often just lonely. Some of the elderly ladies loved the 'Fireman visits' and I had some pretty open evaluations of my physique and a few butt grabs. You take it in stride, realize the mental capacity is reduced, have a little fun with it and move on with your day. Likely the people your dad is interacting with are doing the same and unless something he said was REALLY funny, forget about it as soon as they've left the room.