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Now and Zen
Picture of clubleaf206
Or, anybody have 13 grand laying around, not being used?

I apologize for whining, I truly need to get this off my chest. About 16 months ago my mother passed away, I miss her very, very much. For the last few years I was in the home, tending to what she needed, her health was alright for someone her age, she was just sort of housebound. As I put it to her once I was her concierge service, I took her to appointments with her doctors, went to the store bought groceries, picked up her meds,and, on the odd occasion that would sometimes crop up, take her to the ER (among other things she had afib and her heart would race). The place I worked at up to that time had let me go, they contracted with another firm, who brought in their own personnel. I had a decent amount put away in a checking account and mom kept a roof over my head and allowed me to share in the food, in exchange for being “on call” (I also started doing the majority of the cooking, she still made her breakfasts, though), so that was how things settled into. The house had been paid off many years ago and between her SS and her retirement fund that is how she was able to stay comfortable in the house. Understand she was not bedridden or anything, she was in her nineties and just wasn’t as physically strong, mentally she was still sharp as a tack. Part of the physical limitation came from a car accident she was in, no one else was involved, however she totaled the car and suffered a back injury, she couldn’t stand for long periods of time,even after therapy sessions. It was a situation that seemed to work out well, she was able to stay in her home, instead of moving into a facility and with me there she didn’t have need to pay for professional service. Then the day came that she passed, she slipped in her bedroom, getting ready for bed and broke her hip. The hip replacement surgery actually went very well, however something happened with her blood, it became very acidic and the doctors were never able to correct it, from the moment of her accident to her passing was only about 36 hours. My older brother was the executor of the estate and he decided that I should have the house (he lives out of state and is content there). Well, things started out alright enough, however the job market here is very tight and, due to some unforeseen events the money I had put away and was using to pay bills was used up rather quickly. I had to start using my credit card to help pay bills and began to get into a hole, not the most financially sound thing to do, I know, however I could see no other alternative. I don’t want to lose the house, obviously, however I can’t see any way to do so, I can’t apply for reverse mortgage, for example, I’m just shy of being of the age that I can do that and, without a way of paying it back there is no way my bank would extend a loan. I have no family to speak of, my brother and I have never been close, so there is no point going to him. Besides he is retired and doesn’t have any disposable income, anyway.

I am incredibly depressed, lately there have been days that it was an effort simply to get out of bed and face another day. I am NOT suicidal, I know that is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but I have to admit that if something happened such as some natural occurrence like a tree falling on me, etc I’m not sure that would be a terrible thing. Back to the subject at hand, perhaps someone here has a suggestion pertaining to my monetary situation that they would pass on. Legal, of course, I’m not going to rob banks or something. I’m going to sign out of the forum for now, its past my typical bedtime, I’ll check back come morning. Thank you for letting me get this out of my system, I’ve been holding it in for too long, it still pains me greatly to have to post this here.

"....imitate the action of the Tiger."
Posts: 11231 | Location: The untamed wilds of Kansas | Registered: August 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of kkina
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No, but I'll send up a prayer on your behalf for a financial healing, Bro.
Posts: 11235 | Location: SF Bay Area | Registered: December 11, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Could you get a job in another town or state, keep the house since you're understandably emotionally attached to it, work off the debt and then move back home?

What line of work were you in before the layoff?

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H L Mencken

I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is.
-- JALLEN 10/18/18
Posts: 8593 | Location: Illinois farm country | Registered: November 15, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Telling cops where to go for over 25 years
Picture of 911Boss
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I am by no means a financial expert, but we went through a pretty hard patch about 8 years ago. Very upside down on our house, wife lost her job (mortgage industry for over 15 years). Our sole focus became “keeping the house”. I was working every OT hour I could get as well as a second job. Things were getting put on credit that shouldn’t have been, robbing Peter to pay Paul. It put a tremendous strain on our relationship, all in all very “dark” times.

We made the difficult decision to give up the house and get out from under an obligation we likely would have never been able to meet. Wasn’t easy, but going through the short-sale process voluntarily likely saved us from going through a foreclosure and even worse financial problems.

In the end, things worked out and we got the breathing room needed to get back on our feet.

I’m sure you want to keep the house, but if losing it is a real possibility and you are spiraling down in debt with no means to pay it and not in a situation for a loan, the best option may be to sell the house while there is still equity in it, use that to clear your debt and get back to a better situation.

Best wishes for you, it can be hard but sometimes thought is clearest when your under able to take the emotions out of it and look at it logically from a financial/business perspective.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: 911Boss,

"Where MY free shit?!"

What part of "...Shall not be infringed" don't you understand???

Posts: 8673 | Location: Just stumbling through, trying to avoid a premature banjackulation of my own doing... | Registered: February 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of P210
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Rent the house and couch surf is always an option as a last resort to hold on to it until you get on your feet. If just renting a room or two will work, financially, that’s better.

"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." - The Dalai Lama
Posts: 6087 | Location: Maui | Registered: December 15, 1999Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Do No Harm,
Do Know Harm
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I hate you’re going through this. I had some very difficult financial times after my divorce, and received good advice and support from here.

13 grand sounds like a lot, but it’s relatively minuscule.

What’s your monthly expenditure number to keep your head above water?

With no mortgage, that leaves utilities, taxes, gas, food, insurance. Is there more?

That number should be within reach...don’t give up. Reevaluate your options. It’s not the debt that’s the problem, it seems, is the lack of income.

If the house situation will work out with entry level pay, I’d look for anything I could get. If it won’t, I’d consider selling. Either way, the income problem has to be fixed.

Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.

Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard.

"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
Posts: 10299 | Location: NC | Registered: August 16, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Have you applied at Walmart,McDonald or any place else to help ease your financial burden until you can find something that will sustain you?
Posts: 616 | Location: Southern Michigan | Registered: May 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My mother-in-law passed a few years back and left us her house in KC MO. It was (and still is) a pain for the wife and I due to the fact that we reside in Utah and Idaho (part time both places). We let one of her high school friends stay in the house and all she does is pay insurance and taxes. The friend has a disability so she has a hard time holding down a permanent job. She ended up renting two rooms out and brings in about $700 a month doing so. Would that be a possibility for you? I know the amount money you could make renting out rooms would be small but it is a start. I also know that losing your privacy would be a pain in the ass. But like Dave Ramsey says, start with baby steps. Starting down the path of solving your problem will definitely help with the "mental funk" you're in right now.

I am worried for you about one thing. Saying you're not suicidal but getting out of bed being an effort is problematic. My son went through a period of depression and his doctors told him that it is easy to move to the suicidal side of thought patterns. It scared the hell out of my wife and I. Go find yourself a job where you will work with people and give you a reason to get up. For right now the amount of money you earn doesn't matter. Getting into a routine DOES matter. Seeing other people (even jerks) 40 hours a week is a good thing. Constantly sitting at home by yourself is a bad thing. Until you can find a job, make yourself a job, that being finding a job. Work at it every day! Start by writing a resume. That exercise show you that you do have skills that employers want. Remember, small successes build into big successes.

I used to screen applicants and have seen some very effective resumes and very bad ones. If you need some assistance my email is in my profile. There are also a ton of people on this site that would be more than glad to help. I know that because I have reached out for help and many people stepped up. A few times folks here have stepped up without being asked. Posting here was probably your best first step to working through your problem.

I am sending good thoughts your way Club! Hang in there.
Posts: 5572 | Registered: October 31, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Technically Adaptive
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Hi club,
Sorry that you are going through this.
I had to move out of State 10yrs ago to find work. It ended well and I'm back.
You need to find work, apply from your location and keep fanning out to different States.
Let me know If you need help with some relocation funds to get you going.
I'ts all downhill once you get money comming in.
Posts: 576 | Location: Willcox, AZ | Registered: September 24, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Skins2881
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Club, sounds like you have no choice but to sell. With a poor job market you're not likely to get out by slowing paying it off. Is it possible to take *any* job you can find, plus rent out a couple rooms to keep lights on and tax man paid? This may be the best bet if you can't find real employment there.

I'm sure your mother would have preferred you sell the house and keep your sanity over losing your mind and keeping the house.

Best of luck to you! Hang in there.


A couple SIGs and a few others
Posts: 13055 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: December 27, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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How about bringing in a roommate to help with the expenses?
Posts: 1330 | Location: WI | Registered: December 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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To be brutally honest- The house is dragging you down and will burry you. Sorry but it's just a house.

You tried but you can't keep it. Do the right thing before you lose it in less than optimum circumstances.


The butcher with the sharpest knife has the warmest heart.
Posts: 11512 | Location: Bottom of Lake Washington | Registered: March 06, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Go ahead punk, make my day
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Like many here I have had ‘difficult time’ concerning finances.

First, try not to get overwhelmed by the totality of it because that won’t let you fix the problem.

Second, you need to develop several plans, including ones you don’t like (ie selling the house, etc). Doing that will help take out the ‘unknown’. For me, it was getting rid of a house we no longer lived in, potentially liquidating some firearms and other assets, etc.

Third, you need job. It sounds like you weren’t working when taking care of your mom, which sounds like the correct thing to do, but that time is over. Long term you need some way to earn a living.

And maybe you need a fresh start. Would selling the house pay off the debt and give you a new reserve of $$$? I don’t know much about you, but maybe it would allow you to go back to school, earn a new degree / certification? Or maybe relocate somewhere new to try your hand there?

Regardless of your decision, good luck. Keep your head up, wake up every day, and get after it.
Posts: 41279 | Registered: July 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A day late, and
a dollar short
Picture of Warhorse
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Originally posted by braillediver:
To be brutally honest- The house is dragging you down and will burry you. Sorry but it's just a house.

You tried but you can't keep it. Do the right thing before you lose it in less than optimum circumstances.

Sorry, but I too agree with braillediver, sell the house and work on your employment situation, and yes if moving out of state is what it takes to get a job, do it.

NRA Life Member, GOA, MGO Annual Member, Annual member MRPA
Posts: 11646 | Location: MI | Registered: July 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
delicately calloused
Picture of darthfuster
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Mrs DF and I went through some terrible financial difficulty back in the day. After an initial devastating event we were in decline for about two years. It was slow at first but eventually we began losing things. I tried desperately to save the house and what we had left. Retrospectively I understand that the house and what was left comprised a monkey trap. What I should have done is release the 'prize' and free myself to recover. Instead I wasted two years in agony before releasing the prize.

Sometimes we have to do the thing we don't want to do. My experience then taught me to recognize reality from fantasy and release the prize early. In your circumstance I would sell the house and use the gains to recover elsewhere. The longer you wait, the fewer gains you'll have from the house. It is a monkey trap. Free yourself.

I'm truly sorry you are in difficulty, but it is through pressing against resistance like this that we become strong.

I'm sorry, I'm thinking about the cats again...
Posts: 24589 | Location: Highland, Ut. | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
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Just $13K doesn't seem insurmountable but if you need to just sell the house.
Posts: 16359 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If the house is paid for, what are the monthly operating expenses compared to paying rent? If he doesn't have income to support monthly expenses, that is the situation that needs to be resolved. Selling the house my generate a nest egg, but still need to deal with the overall income situation.
Posts: 1330 | Location: WI | Registered: December 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
186,000 miles per second.
It's the law.

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How has real estate been in your area? We have been on a national upswing for almost 10 years now. If we have a recession in the next year or two, you might look back and be happy with the price you get selling the house this year. You should not have any capital gains tax since you inherited it. Just be darn sure you invest the proceeds very safely. OR, get a house-mate to pay rent. See a Doc about the
depression. This will pass, and you can and will feel a lot better!
Posts: 2092 | Registered: August 19, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Stop Talking, Start Doing
Picture of Copefree
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How much is the house worth?

Mind. Over. Matter.
Posts: 4658 | Location: North of Seattle, Warshington | Registered: August 31, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
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I don't mean to be harsh, but kind words aren't going to solve your problem.

Even if somebody up and gave you $13 grand today: Then what? You just told us you managed to burn through $13k in 16 months, and that's not including the "decent amount" you had saved up.

Unless you can find gainful employment that will cover existing recurring expenses and give you a bit to begin paying-down your accumulated debt you have no choice but to sell the home before you lose it.

You'll still need to eventually find employment. Even if you do realize a big cash infusion from the sale of the home you'll eventually run out of that, too.

The part I don't get is this: The job market is, by all reports, pretty hot. Everybody to whom I've spoken on the issue, around here (S.E. Michigan), says they can't find enough good people to fill the jobs. I just looked: The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says the unemployment rate in Kansas is 3.5%. So why is it you can't seem to obtain gainful employment?

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"Whenever somebody uses 'liberal,' when what they really mean is 'leftist,' they immediately lose my attention." -- Me
Posts: 14861 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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