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I'm Fine
Picture of SBrooks
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quote:
Originally posted by Rob Decker:
quote:
Originally posted by SBrooks:
Yeah- I don't think things are different now than they were then. I was bullied until I had a decent growth spurt and started sports/lifting weights. After that the only bullying ended in a fight that I won.

It's just part of growing up. Some kids are bullied and some aren't. My wife says she was never bullied.

I had a brother 8 years older than me, so I got hammered at home too. He could punch me in the shoulder in a way that left a knot in my muscle...frogging I think we called it.

I finally got bigger than him and kicked his ass and then that was over too. Violence isn't always the answer, but it sure helps sometimes. Be strong or be smart or better yet - both.


Problem is, modern zero tolerance policies mean a punch to the mouth is an automatic suspension of expulsion.

Where I graduated high school, one fight, and you were suspended for a week. One more and you were gone. Didn't matter why. Didn't matter who started it. Didn't matter how badly the kid was tormented. He dared throw a punch - or return one - the world fell on his head.

It's all well and good to say "fight back" until fighting back means your 4.0 GPA just earned you at best Vo-Ed or a military enlistment because no college, ROTC program, or service academy will touch you. Not with a line around the block of kids with 3.0 GPAs and no disciplinary problems.


My main "fight" during school hours was done off-campus. We walked until off school property and then I whipped his ass. Other fights were in the neighborhood where/when school had no involvement. I even had an eighth grade biology teacher tell my parents at PTA night that the boy I beat up deserved it. (of course they never told me that until I was in my 30s)

I understand your fear of authority/consequences, but there is usually still a way to take care of business. Or if the bullying isn't worth the result of getting suspended - then suck it up and take it.


------------------
SBrooks
 
Posts: 3067 | Location: East Tennessee | Registered: August 21, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Funny Man
Picture of TXJIM
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P220 Smudge, I am sorry you had to endure such shit growing up. Kudos to you for rising above those circumstances. I tip my cap sir.


______________________________
“I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.”
― John Wayne
 
Posts: 6060 | Location: Austin, TX | Registered: June 29, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I too believe the definition of bullying has changed.
Plus more kids have opened themselves up for bullying, by saying "Look at me" or "I'm different". Maybe by coming out of a closet they were never in? By cross dressing in Jr. High along with lots of other extreme issues to get attention and then they get the kind of attention they do not want.

I always tried to stay in the background, but it seems I was more often bullied than not.
The name calling and making fun of...no problem.
The pushing around, punching or just putting their hands on me, I was not ok with.
My dad told me when I reached 12 that one day, a boy needs to become a man and deal with that stuff HEAD ON. I was the littlest guy in my class, but dealt with it and have not looked back. I thank my dad for NOT fighting all my battles and forcing me to become a man. No longer the smallest guy around at 6'1 175.


NRA Life Endowment member
Tri-State Gun collectors Life Member
 
Posts: 2343 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 18, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
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quote:
Originally posted by TXJIM:
P220 Smudge, I am sorry you had to endure such shit growing up. Kudos to you for rising above those circumstances. I tip my cap sir.


Cheers, Jim. I tip my cap back to you for teaching your boys right. I've told my son, age 4, starting with the bite marks from daycare two years ago that if anyone tries to bite him or hit him or anything like that to hit them right in the face. He's done it, and I've signed the "incident reports." We'll keep on with that. I'm not raising anyone's doormat.
 
Posts: 9719 | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of bigdeal
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quote:
Originally posted by Spokane228:
quote:
Originally posted by bigdeal:
The video states 30% of children are bullied today. Honest question. Is that higher than the percentage of children bullied 30 years ago? My point is, this is nothing new, as kids have been tormenting each other forever. But is it really a bigger problem today than in the past, or is the culture that much weaker than it was thirty years ago?


What difference does it make?
Hillary, is that you?


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Guns are awesome because they shoot solid lead freedom. Every man should have several guns. And several dogs, because a man with a cat is a woman. Kurt Schlichter
 
Posts: 27051 | Location: Orlando, FL | Registered: April 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Funny Man
Picture of TXJIM
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
quote:
Originally posted by TXJIM:
P220 Smudge, I am sorry you had to endure such shit growing up. Kudos to you for rising above those circumstances. I tip my cap sir.


Cheers, Jim. I tip my cap back to you for teaching your boys right. I've told my son, age 4, starting with the bite marks from daycare two years ago that if anyone tries to bite him or hit him or anything like that to hit them right in the face. He's done it, and I've signed the "incident reports." We'll keep on with that. I'm not raising anyone's doormat.


Bravo!


Funny story. My now freshman in HS son had a congenital foot disorder that caused the bones in his feet to fuse starting around age 10. He was playing flag football in that time period and there was one particularly obnoxious little shit on his team. During a drill that involved sprinting, this little shit started riding my son verbally about how slow he was and how he ran funny. I could see that it was upsetting my son. His dad was standing right there and said nothing as his spawn was being a complete asshole to my son. When they got back to where we were standing I told my son out loud, "Feel free to punch ______ right in the mouth if he keeps flapping his lips at you". The kids eyes got as big as saucers and his dad just stood there with his mouth hanging open. There was never a problem after that but I always wondered what that kid thought of his dad in that moment and if they ever discussed the situation. Me and another dad that was nearby still laugh about it and the kid and his family moved away not long after.


______________________________
“I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.”
― John Wayne
 
Posts: 6060 | Location: Austin, TX | Registered: June 29, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bigdeal
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quote:
Originally posted by Rob Decker:
Problem is, modern zero tolerance policies mean a punch to the mouth is an automatic suspension of expulsion.

Where I graduated high school, one fight, and you were suspended for a week. One more and you were gone. Didn't matter why. Didn't matter who started it. Didn't matter how badly the kid was tormented. He dared throw a punch - or return one - the world fell on his head.

It's all well and good to say "fight back" until fighting back means your 4.0 GPA just earned you at best Vo-Ed or a military enlistment because no college, ROTC program, or service academy will touch you. Not with a line around the block of kids with 3.0 GPAs and no disciplinary problems.
Rob...Have you been around the current public schools of late? I have friends who are teachers and guidance counselors and they complain constantly that there's little a kid can do that they can suspend him for. And expulsions are virtually non-existent. Kids today are taught not to stick up for themselves while the damn bullies run wild over the school and are all but untouchable by the administration.

And parents can be a big part of the solution. When my son was eight (or so), a kid at school kept riding him. He reported in to the teacher multiple time to no avail. I finally told him if the kid kept it up to drill him. That's what happened, and when my son was suspended from school, I went and sat down with the teacher and principal and explained the incompetence of the teacher being the reason for the incident. Never once did I apologize for anything. In the end, the suspension was waved, and two years later, the kid who had acted as a bully became good friends with my son. I think they're still friends to this day.


-----------------------------
Guns are awesome because they shoot solid lead freedom. Every man should have several guns. And several dogs, because a man with a cat is a woman. Kurt Schlichter
 
Posts: 27051 | Location: Orlando, FL | Registered: April 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
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That's the way to be, damn straight, Jim!
 
Posts: 9719 | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oh stewardess,
I speak jive.
Picture of 46and2
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If your kids go to school where the policy is zero tolerance for fighting back against a bully, the school is the problem, not the kids.

Fight, fight, fight. Never, ever, just accept that sort of thing. Get a friend, grab a stick, do whatever it takes to make the bully stop.

Teaching someone to turn the other cheek, against a bully, is colossally bad life advice, and such nonsense is at the very root of much of what's wrong these days.
 
Posts: 23212 | Registered: March 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fire begets Fire
Picture of SIGnified
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I’m older than those who’ve posted their age here ... and I agree about handling your own business back in the day.

However the world has changed dramatically re: online social engagement. Now mean people can bully 24x7 and you cannot retaliate with zero consequences.

Too many other people make your problem their problem and gang up unmercifully. Try to fight physically and now the cops, school, parents, or FB friends are all involved.

It wasn’t that way 40+ yrs ago. You fought your own battles. Also, my parochial HS had a “Dean of men” who meeted out real discipline quickly, forcefully and regularly. No school I know of presently has such a role/function.

Today all those kids would immediately break out their phones, video and post the “assault” on a student who needed a little correction.

Very different world today. Yes, parents and schools can and do fuck up kids every single day. Traditional defense tactics are not allowed. Try it ... you’ll be on video somewhere.





"Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty."
~Robert A. Heinlein
 
Posts: 22979 | Location: Row 2F | Registered: February 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
This barely qualifies
as news
Picture of 7 Zark 7
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I’d have been pissed if I were in there just trying to eat lunch, possibly on a short work break, and BK pulled that stunt on me. Conduct your snowflake social experiments on your own time, not mine. Especially while delivered with that smug holier-than-thou attitude the counter help copped.



So, what's your name, icy? "Stuntman Mike." Stuntman Mike's your name? "You ask anybody." Hey, Warren, who is this guy? "Stuntman Mike". And who the hell is Stuntman Mike? "He's a stuntman."
 
Posts: 1423 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: June 05, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ammoholic
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Rob Decker:
Problem is, modern zero tolerance policies mean a punch to the mouth is an automatic suspension of expulsion.

Where I graduated high school, one fight, and you were suspended for a week. One more and you were gone. Didn't matter why. Didn't matter who started it. Didn't matter how badly the kid was tormented. He dared throw a punch - or return one - the world fell on his head.

It's all well and good to say "fight back" until fighting back means your 4.0 GPA just earned you at best Vo-Ed or a military enlistment because no college, ROTC program, or service academy will touch you. Not with a line around the block of kids with 3.0 GPAs and no disciplinary problems.


You are right, the problem is the “front hole”-ification of our culture on many levels. We had a kid in elementary school who was quite the bully. My dad’s answer was to really hurt him. If you just hurt him a little you’ll piss him off and have bigger problems, but if you really hurt him he’ll back off. The next morning I walked off the bus, up to where we lined up for the pledge, stepped out of line, walked over in front of him and hit him as hard as I could in the nose. He stood the with blood running out of his nose, tears running out of his eyes and didn’t say a word. I went back to my place in line and never had another problem with him. There is no way that multiple teachers didn’t see it happen, but I never heard a thing about it. He was a bullying prick, everyone knew it, and I’ll bet some of those teachers were glad to see him get what he deserved. Back then kids were expected to learn to figure things out. Now they are ridiculously sheltered and people wonder why they are snowflakes.
 
Posts: 3490 | Registered: February 23, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Coin Sniper
Picture of Rightwire
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When I was in school fighting was typically a suspension. The bad part about it was how schools handled bullies. They bully would pick on the victim, push, trip, punch in the arm, gut, chest, etc at will with no repercussions. When the victim finally snapped and went spider monkey on the bully when that final push, trip, or punch was enough, they got punished too. Every teacher knew EXACTLY who the bullies were, but that didn't matter. So, defend yourself and you better be prepared to be treated like a bad kid.




343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
 
Posts: 34172 | Location: Above the snow line in Michigan | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
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Last night when my son came home, I found out some little shit punched him in the nuts first thing in the morning and “it hurt a lot, Dad.” I think he was too stunned to hit back. We had another chat about the appropriate response to someone punching you: hit them right between the eyes. If they tag you in the nuts, you swing a kick at theirs. Chatted it over with my buddy at the gas station this morning and a gentleman in his 70’s at least joined in “it’s sad what they’re teaching kids these days. When I was a kid, bullies got handled.”

I told him “well, they tried the other way on my generation and the next few and it doesn’t work. We’re going back to the old ways with my son.” He nodded and replied “good for you, raise a man, not a weakling.”
 
Posts: 9719 | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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