I remember as I was going through my chemo and radiation, I got tired very quickly-still do, and could only drink my meals. Then when they tell you you have to take in about 3000 calories a day to maintain weight, you look at them like they have multiple heads and are oozing slime from various body cavities. Taste get's lost along the way and hunger is a distant memory.

Since my last treatments in March, I've gained a bit of taste back and my hunger has returned. I'm still drinking and eating my meals, but it's a start. Once I came off my meds, I started to recover taste and hunger, etc. I think you will too as you change treatment regimens.

Try very hard to NOT let the bad days become more memorable than the good days. Keep fighting, trying, and believing in getting more time. Recovery is always a crap-shoot, a numbers game. Even if there is a 10% chance or remission/recovery, that is still a chance.

Fry

May God be with you and your loved ones, Always.

LBJ, thank you for staying in the fight. You are an inspiration. God bless you and your family.

I remember in my fight I got so wiped out a couple of times.

The first time I felt like I was drowning at the start of Chemo and Radiation. Then the Thoracic Surgeon lazar cut some of my tumor out of my main airway and placed two stents in the left and right lung. I toted an oxygen bottle on a cart around for six weeks.

The second time I was so weak I almost could not get out of bed. The wife had errands to do with our youngest so I drove myself and oxygen bottle to my Chemo Appointment.

They did blood work and told me I needed a blood transfusion like yesterday. Transfusion was set up the next day and wife had to drive me. I received two whole units. I can remember the Infusion Nurse reading donor info but no name. Both units came from someone in Idaho. She said it was from the meat and potato eating state. I got out a weak chuckle and said I am glad it is not from San Francisco.

Where am I going with this? I guess I am just sharing that at times it got real hard for me to stay positive and keep fighting and going forward. At times I felt I could barely crawl if I was going forward.

Keep up the Fight LBJ and Prayers continue your way.

God Bless
Roy

I appreciate all the posts.
I can see many of us here have been through the mill.

A word about fighting chances et al.

The only time remission that was possible for me was right after surgery last January where a 3% chance existed that once the main tumor was removed, that the others still present might dry up and go away.
That time period has passed and I did not fall into that 3% chance of remission.

I will not get remission whatsoever at this point, it's a medical impossibility. That means a 0% chance of remission going forward.
I am not trying to be pessimistic or be a drag on anyone's optimistic future for me, facts are facts.

What is possible is to hold the cancer at bay where it is now for some certain short period of time and wait with hope that in the meantime, a newer more effective treatment will become available. That's a bit of a stretch but within the realm of possibility.
I just wanted to be clear here about what is possible and what is not.

I am almost 3 days out from being off the Votrient.
While I have been exercising at PT twice a week, I would just get super tired and it seemed like I was still losing muscle mass, which I was.

I had PT yesterday and later that day and into this morning, I feel "sore" which is a more normal feeling and condition after exerting myself.
Taste has not returned yet in a significant way but there have slight changes.

Of course currently, there is no medicine in body fighting this cancer so that is a drag, but there is no question that the side effects of the Votrient are slowly going away, so in a sense, I feel more normal today that I have since I started treatment.

That makes sense because right now, I am off treatment.

I get a bit miffed when well meaning friends and family are telling me I need to go to Mexico and places because they are doing wonderful things with regards to cancer treatment. They mean well and I understand their honest intentions.
I take a different view on that and think more along the lines of those places are a great place to throw good money after bad and have leeches drain my bank account over snake oil.

The financial resources I have are for my family after I am gone, not to waste on what I view as false hope.
It's about my family moving forward in the future and having the financial resources to help better their lives.
I have had my time in the sun and may be getting some more sun in the near future.

But I refuse to squander what I wish to pass on to my family.
What is happening to me cannot be confined to be all about me, me, me.
What is happening is that things that are larger than myself are at play here and I keep myself focused on what is best for my family.

You have all that just right, the way I have been looking at it. The instincts that have served you so well will continue to do so.

Thos of us who have been following this understand what you are saying, and we can see that you have a good handle on this, Tom.

Thank you.

I am just doing what I believe is the right thing to do, no more no less.
I think most of the membership here does the same for them and theirs. And I do not see anyone here coming after me or anything.

The support I get from all of you is truly amazing.

While I try to make sure here and there that it is not always about me, me me, there are some things which are about me.
I can be as self centered as anyone who ever lived, heck, this entire thread I continue here today is going on 42 pages of me and could easily be viewed as a bit narcissistic.

I gots me flaws like everyone else, you know?

And all this despite Maxwell's silver hammer, ha!

Your last post is very well said. I wish you well as you progress on this journey.

Edited to add: Now your second to last post in this thread.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
Thank you.

I am just doing what I believe is the right thing to do, no more no less.
I think most of the membership here does the same for them and theirs. And I do not see anyone here coming after me or anything.

The support I get from all of you is truly amazing.

While I try to make sure here and there that it is not always about me, me me, there are some things which are about me.
I can be as self centered as anyone who ever lived, heck, this entire thread I continue here today is going on 42 pages of me and could easily be viewed as a bit narcissistic.

I gots me flaws like everyone else, you know?

And all this despite Maxwell's silver hammer, ha!

Maybe, but you are doing a masterful job of showing the rest of us who face similar but perhaps less immediate challenges a sensible and positive approach.

As far as I am concerned, it can be all about you and your thoughts, ideas, reactions, and anything else you care to share.

lbj, maybe it's me being naive or blind but I don't believe in 0% chance in such a case. As long as you're still kicking there's a chance. Small chance, sure but it's there and I refuse to let go of that.

If I can face my end with even half the calm courage you've exhibited, Tom, then I will have done well.

You need to see a nutritional doctor in your area. You can go to the American College for Advancement in Medicine and do a search for one in your area to jump start and strengthen your immune system.

http://acam.site-ym.com/search/custom.asp?id=1758

Vitamin D3 is one of the most importance to maintain your immune system. Also Co-enzyme Q10 is the fuel that powers your heart.

My brother died from liver cancer caused by the prednisone used over a long period of time for ulcerative colitis. Then my mother never got over my brothers death at age 40 and developed cancer.

We didn't know about vitamin D3 at the time but were giving her nutritional supplements that turned her life around after the tumor was removed. She was doing fine for about two months when the Hospice people made a visit and told her there was no hope. I couldn't believe what they were saying and we didn't invite them to the house. I should have thrown them out. They collected $3000 for their involvement. Just a sign of why the hospital costs are high and the Medicare system is being abused.

I would not do PT but just take a walk each day to conserve your energy. You have to realize there are different forms of cancer and chemo is only about 50 probability of a cure while the most important thing is a strong immune system.

I have studied health issues since 1980 and have read many books and taken health newsletters from many doctors. The problem is doctors do not get any training in nutritional supplements to maintain and improve your health. Some doctors strike out on their own when they see drugs are not the answers in most cases. Dr Stephen Sinatra always said he would never use chemo but use different nutritional supplements.

If I was in your position, I would contact Dr. Stephen Sinatra and tell him your position and what he would recommend. He is a workaholic at age 70.

http://www.drsinatra.com/about-dr-sinatra/

http://www.drsinatra.com/10-ca...-can-save-your-life/

41

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
If I can face my end with even half the calm courage you've exhibited, Tom, then I will have done well.

And you will from what I know of you.

I do have hopes and dreams and fears here.
I am not at the end yet, and given what they tell me about the last 2 to 4 weeks whenever that comes, it is going to get a bit ugly.
I am under no pretense that some panic will set in at that time.

But until then...

Fear doesn't mean you're a coward, it means you're human.

Unless of course I am dancer.

https://www.bing.com/videos/se...2411FB7EF3&FORM=VIRE

Lbj,
I'm not going to offer any medical advice here, just let you know I'm praying for comfort for you and your family. I've had the privilege of caring for quite a few people in this stage of life, and those who had faith and caring friends and family have faced it the best.
Don't know what else to say.
Stan

Quietly taking in your journey.

You are not being selfish. To the contrary, your expressing all that you have is more giving than you may comprehend.

There are many here who have lost, are losing friends and loved ones to cancer or other such illnesses, or are experiencing similar things themselves. And in the future most of us will find ourselves on such a road.

And many of them want(ed) to understand what those individuals are going through, to be able to help, or offer comfort etc.

You provide some insight, albeit all have different experiences, thoughts and so forth.

Thank you for giving up your privacy in this manner.

I continue to pray for your faith, strength and that you have peace.

All of us know we will die one day, and I still do not know if knowing, or being totally unaware, of which would be better.

I hope I said this properly.

Sorry to hear you and your family going through this but it sounds like you are handling it as well as possible.

I think it strikes home for many of us because we realize that someday this could be us. Everyone is aware that none of us are getting out of here alive, but having a more specific date makes you focus on the important issues more clearly. I can only hope if I find myself with a similar condition that I handle it as well (and rationally) as you are.

While I would hope for a miracle, many people I've seen in this situation grasp for cures that are fantasy and end up making the time they have left more miserable and actually end up shortening their life.

Hopefully expressing your thoughts with us and the replies, gives you some help and comfort dealing with this. I know it will help me deal with things like this in the future.

There is always unfinished business.
By that I mean your loved ones, your finances, your faith et al.

What I would say is that for me, I am glad to have known in advance so as to complete as much unfinished business as I can, and there is lot.

Knowing what I know now, I would have tried through my lifetime to keep unfinished business to a minimum, as opposed to putting such off for another time thinking I have that luxury of waiting for the future.

The best scenario from my experience here is that if one can maintain a minimum of unfinished business, as well as have your affairs in order, then if that is the case, yes, a slip in the tub, maybe a step off a curb and be hit by bus would mean passing on instantaneously.
That would be the best way to go. IMO

But I didn't have all my ducks in a row, so knowing in advance was best for me for this point in time.

I married at age 50, I got 2 daughters at the time as rebellious teenagers, so a lot of my unfinished business is my family, because I got them so late in life.

And thank God I finally have the family I always wanted. I haven't had them very long, but they mean everything.