I’ve gone back and forth several times. I’m convinced being a spouse is more difficult. What do you think?

for my marriage? definitely parenting. Rach and I agree on most stuff (important stuff, especially), and we work through the rest. We try to stay on the same page, we are nearly always in communication somehow, and we've always gotten along great.

But those damned kids don't listen for shit, make messes and don't clean up, they smell weird, touch everything and eat all our food!

Marriage to someone you don't really like.

It's impossible to not love your kids, at least in my mind.

I have been married for almost 21 years and we do not have any children by choice; we have two parrots, which are like having a three year old for their entire life.

I would think parenthood would be tougher as you have to be 100% dedicated to your children and you are married at the same time. I still like to do things for myself and so does my wife, which is why we chose not to have children. Marriage still is not easy as there are ups and downs, but you get through it and love and appreciate each other even more as time goes by. I am very sure the same is true for children.

In my mind, parenting requires marriage--I don't approve of births out of wedlock. Therefore, I'd say parenting is more difficult, because it includes both.

flashguy

Two people getting married know what they're getting into; at least they're supposed to. Of course, many people marry for the wrong reasons, just as they often sign bad contracts, get into bad deals, etc. No one forced them. What's the Vegas line on when Justin Beiber and Hailey Baldwin will divorce?

A child is essentially a blank slate. Problem children more than anything are a product of poor or absentee parenting. Unlike a spouse, a child didn't have any say about being brought into the equation.

Which is tougher? I lean towards parenting. Sometimes a spouse changes, and all the work in the world won't save a marriage. A child however is a reflection of his parents. A spouse is ultimately responsible for him/herself. A child is not.

You can divorce a spouse. You can't divorce your kids. You may give up on or abandon them, but you don't divorce them.

I don’t see either as which is “tougher”.
The challenge for each is what it is, a challenge.

A lot like life in general,mothers are more agreeable moments and moments that aren’t.

I think a lot has to do with how you handle the curves in life.

If you have a child who isn’t complacent, it can be challenging... Same for a wife.

Depends if you value the good times over those that are not.

Like the weather, it is something that just is.

One thing is absolute, kids grow fast, life is short.

I’ve been really blessed. The wife is great and so are the kids. At 16 and 14 they are getting more and more independent and more and more fun.

Now if you asked Mrs. slosig, she’d almost certainly say marriage is much harder than parenting, but she knew I was a PIA when she married me.

Past middle age, marriage gets easier, kids are always a worry but now impossible to influence.

For us, children tested the marriage. They moved us from love birds to teammates. That metamorphosis was a struggle as I learned to refine myself. At this end of the tunnel, Mrs DF and I can see our marriage would have been less without the trial of children. For us, one made the other possible and the other made the one powerful.

Parenting is a natural relationship. Marriage, not so much.

My now ex-wife abandon our marriage once we had kids. I stuck it out for 15 years before I couldn’t take it anymore and got a divorce. But it didn’t take 15 years working on the marriage. I gave up much earlier than that and just worked on raising the kids. It was hard but natural. I’m guessing if my wife had wanted to work on the marriage that would have been harder. But she wasn’t ever interested. I pray others don’t have that issue.

Parenthood.

You can leave a crazy spouse, you can't unborn a crazy kid.

You can pick/trade in your spouse, you can't pick your kids. Parenting is far more challenging than marriage.

I agree with Darthfuster. Having a solid marriage eases the "pain" of parenting but parenting trumps marriage in difficulty for me.

Although I am divorced, I will vote for parenting as the hardest.

Your children may one day grow up and move away . . .

Both are hard work, but good work if you can get it.

Marriage can be hard, but a good marriage is well worth the effort. Parenting is hard, but s good marriage makes it easier. Parenting is the more difficult of the two, I think. The consequences of screwing up are greater, and your kids will affect you in ways that no other person could.

There are a lot of good books on parenting, and most people I know have purchased more than one.

There aren't a lot of good books on marriage. Particularly for those contemplating it.

I'd highly recommend "His Needs, Her Needs" by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. The man is a brilliant counselor and has written a number of books (Surviving an Affair, Love Busters, Draw Close, etc.) He gave up being a successful owner of rehab centers to focus on relationship counseling. His web site, Marriage Builders is a great source of free information.