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So this blind guy walks into a bar... (*WARNING* Blonde Joke, do not click if easily triggered) Login/Join 
Telling cops where to go for over 25 years
Picture of 911Boss
posted
An old blind cowboy strolls into a bar one day. Without knowing it, he has actually entered an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He wanders over to a bar stool and asks the bartender for a shot of Jack Daniels.

He sits there for a while, then calls out to the bartender. “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

At that point the entire bar falls deadly silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a club.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, cowboy… Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?”

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

“No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”





"Where MY free shit?!"

What part of "...Shall not be infringed" don't you understand???



 
Posts: 8229 | Location: Just stumbling through, trying to avoid a premature banjackulation of my own doing... | Registered: February 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Comic Relief
Picture of Eponym
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That bar sure gets a lot of blind cowboys.

This blind cowboy...

This blind cowboy...
 
Posts: 4086 | Location: Indianapolis, IN | Registered: September 28, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie
Picture of Balzé Halzé
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Haha, I like it.


~Alan

Acta Non Verba
NRA Life Member (Patron)
Family, Guns, Country

"My guns are always loaded."
~R.G. Justified

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure.
 
Posts: 20181 | Location: Out of Jersey, Into Utah | Registered: October 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
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That made me laugh. Thanks.
Big Grin
 
Posts: 15574 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Step by step walk the thousand mile road
Picture of Sig2340
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A blind man walked into a bar...

... And said "Ow!"





Nice is overrated

"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018

 
Posts: 27529 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: May 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
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quote:
easily triggered


Man if you have a problem like that from this joke then you have bigger problems that a "warning" won't help. Eek
 
Posts: 15574 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Heard this a few weeks back and it still makes me laugh.

A young blonde person is attending a talent show
Onstage is a ventriloquist exchanging jokes with the dummy on his lap
The dummy tells one blonde joke after another.
Finally, the young lady in the audience can take no more.
She jumps to her feet and complains bitterly about how insulting and demeaning blonde jokes are.
The ventriloquist becomes flustered and begins apologizing profusely.
The young lady shouts back, "You stay out of this. I'm talking to that little shit on your lap!
 
Posts: 1338 | Registered: July 20, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
member
Picture of henryaz
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Blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeding in her fancy convertible. "License and registration, please". The driver say she has a license, but doesn't know what it looks like. Cops says it is a small rectangular thing with your picture on it. So the driver starts digging through her purse looking, and finally produces a small rectangular make-up mirror, and hands it over to the cop. Cop takes one look and says "Sorry, you can go now. I didn't know you were a cop also".
 
 
Posts: 8089 | Location: South Congress AZ | Registered: May 27, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of konata88
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quote:
Originally posted by smschulz:
quote:
easily triggered


Man if you have a problem like that from this joke then you have bigger problems that a "warning" won't help. Eek


I was more wondering if anybody on SF is actually easily triggered. Doesn't seem like it would be so.

After all these years, it occurs to me -- are blonde jokes always about female blondes? Are there male blonde jokes?




"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - B.Franklin
"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
 
Posts: 7526 | Location: In the gilded cage | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of 71 TRUCK
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First of all my wife is a blonde so I am aloud to tell blond jokes without getting in trouble.


How do you know a blond has been working on a computer? wait for it.
There is white out all over the computer screen.




The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution.

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

As ratified by the States and authenticated by Thomas Jefferson, Secretary of State



NRA Life Member
 
Posts: 1267 | Location: Central Florida, south of the mouse | Registered: March 08, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
Picture of nhtagmember
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I'm blonde (or was for the most part)

Q: what do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?

A: artificial intelligence



Participating in a gun buy back program because you think criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you think your neighbor has too many kids

"I'm only myself when I have a guitar in my hands." - George Harrison


 
Posts: 46945 | Location: Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of olfuzzy
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quote:
Originally posted by konata88:
After all these years, it occurs to me -- are blonde jokes always about female blondes? Are there male blonde jokes?


A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are making love. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
 
Posts: 4602 | Location: 20 miles north of hell | Registered: November 07, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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