I was at Sam's Club with the wife and boy. Since he's autistic we try our best to help him live normally. So we have him make a shopping list and he buys his own groceries. We got to the giant boxes of cereal and he wanted Mini Wheats. He grabbed a torn box so I asked him to grab a different box. He grabbed a different torn box. I told him "No, bud. You have to get a box that isn't torn or open or crushed". He kind of shut down, not knowing what to do, just staring at the boxes. So I grabbed one and placed it in his cart. It bothered him for a few minutes and then he seemed fine.
Later that day we were taking groceries to my mom. We got in the elevator at her building and he looks at me and says, "Sorry, father. Sorry I didn't work with my brain."
"What's that, pal?", I asked not being sure what he was talking about.
"My brain, it just doesn't work right."
My God, my heart broke so hard. He was apologizing to me for being autistic. I was holding back tears.
He was agonizing all that time over not being able to choose a box of cereal that would please me. Did he come to some realization? Did he for the first time feel inadequate? I know I did right there. I wish I could just see or feel what's going on in his mind. I never wanted him to feel like he was broken and I let that happen. Ugh.
He sounds like a fine young man who has a loving and caring dad.
"Those that can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..."
God bless him Mark. And you too.
"Practice like you want to play in the game"
My eyes watered up a bit.
Your son has as much love coming out of him as you have for him. Big time love both ways!
Thanks for sharing, makes me feel great!
|Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie|
I don't think I could've held them back...
Acta Non Verba
NRA Life Member (Endowment)
Family, Guns, Country
"My guns are always loaded."
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure.
My heart breaks right with yours. It makes me want to grab him, hug him, and tell him it will be ok. I bet you felt the same way, and I'm guessing that isn't very comfortable for him to experience.
I don't know how you do it. But I wish to encourage you, in whatever way possible...that you're doing good.
It is so very different of a situation, but my son (born with a club foot, which has been in constant correction since birth) falls a lot. I get frustrated when he falls and breaks stuff. Just the other day I noticed a new gouge in the wall of the stairway. He fell again, and whatever toy he was carrying caused damage to the wall. I was angry and frustrated with him and I snapped a bit about him being more careful and watching his steps. He in similar fashion apologized for his foot to me. He said that it just tucks under sometimes and trips him. My heart broke. I've been frustrated with him over this multiple times, and he has broken a lot of stuff with his falling. Every time I was angry and frustrated, even if I didn't say anything...he was picking up on it. He was internalizing that as his fault. I wanted to punch myself in the face. I deserved to be punched in the face. Instead I simply held him and cried. Being a parent can be hard. It's not for the faint of heart. You are doing a good job.
"The trouble with our Liberal friends...is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagon, 1964
"Arguing with some people is like playing chess with a pigeon. It doesn't matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon will just take a shit on the board, strut around knocking over all the pieces and act like it won.. and in some cases it will insult you at the same time." DevlDogs55, 2014
My deepest empathy, mark123.
Knowing more by accident than on purpose.
You are doing a good job. The worst situation is when an autistic child is born to parents who are not as understanding and caring as you are. I am curious as to how he doing with the kidney issues, and wish you the best with your lawn business.
...but resist, we much. We must, and we will much, about that, be committed. Al Sharpton 2011
nope. I can't just reading it. Thank you for sharing this. It's been a tough day with my kids, and I needed a double dose of empathy for what my kids think and feel... You're an amazing man, Mark.
|On the DL|
He knows that you love him.
A mind is a terrible thing.
|Only the strong survive|
I would go to the Life Extension Foundation and do a search. I have read that low vitamin D3 levels have been found and other nutritional supplements such as Omega 3's have been helpful.
"Donald Trump is the grizzly bear in The Revenant. If you get his attention, he’ll be awake, bite your face off, and sit on you.".. Newt Gingrich.
You are a great dad, with a great son!
"Crom is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, 'What is the riddle of steel?' If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me."
He is not broken, but like all loving parents, you are trying to help him live in a world that is. Hug him, encourage him, enjoy him.
|A Grateful American|
"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
|Back, and |
to the left
My best friend since Jr. High got remarried a dozen or so years ago and had two more kids, both with Autism plus the youngest has some health problems. I would have had no real idea what you are dealing with without having some experience watching my best buddy persevere.
Judging from what you wrote here, I can't imagine you being a better parent or person, Mark. He's lucky to have you for a Dad.
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. -Ecclesiastes 9:11
|Now Serving 7.62|
All I can think to say is he knows, you know, and you love each other, nothing else. Glad you two had time together. Some never have that.
He's so fortunate to have a father with a heart as big as yours.
A couple that we know in the village have twin autistic girls, now ten years old, a doubly-unusual coincidence. There is no doubt that their house is as filled with love as yours is.
YOu are a good parent, keep it up. Your son is lucky to have somebody who cares.
I say this as a teacher.
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