I don’t have any offspring and I was a child a long time ago, but I’m always taken aback when I see parents complaining about their minor children on an open forum like this. The Internet didn’t exist then, but if it had and if my parents had bitched to the world about my attitudes or some sort of subpar performance rather than confronting me and keeping it in the family, I would have been livid. There were things that led to some (fortunately) temporary estrangements, but some of the things I see today could have easily led to a permanent rupture in our relationships.

But I wonder if I’m too much of a snowflake in that regard, and whether others agree with my opinions.

Question:
What do you think about exposing the bad parts of your children’s personal lives for the multitudes to see?

Choices:
It’s okay; they’re my kids.
It’s okay; they need to be tough.
It’s okay if they never know about it.
It’s okay if it’s the only way I can control them.
It’s not acceptable.
Other (please comment).

 

My wife and I dwas by post anything about our children on the net.

No Facebook/Twitter/instagram etc. we ask our family not to post pictures with our children in them.

I was once a criminal defense attorney and saw how easy it was for preditors to obtain information about children to prey on. Good or bad, we avoid mixing the internet and our kids.

IMHO it is a form of child abuse. Poor parenting and abysmal common sense are reflected in these ridiculous choices.

I guess it's what you say not that you say something.
Context is everything, IMO.

Two different things at play, IMHO.

If it’s just complaining about kids, that’s uncalled for.

If it’s asking for advice from others who have been in that situation, then it can be incredibly valuable. This forum alone probably has 10,000+ fathers who have experienced everything from the loss of a child, to divorce, to elopement and everything in between.

quote:

Originally posted by sigfreund:
...exposing parts of children’s personal lives for the multitudes to see?

Um, well. if they use anything that says Google on it. They already have. Facebook sells everybody's stuff to 62+ companies. Even figured out how to turn on the smart phone mic with a signal from any TV and send the recording to Facebook.

Unfortunately the pond scum goons that esdunbar is referring to have access to this information also.

You may consider parents who do this to the equivalent of the same idiots who back their truck out into the freeway. I have a dumb shit nearby that does this every morning. They didn't get hit last time, but...

quote:

Originally posted by reloader-1:
If it’s asking for advice from others who have been in that situation, then it can be incredibly valuable.

Good point, but for this poll, I am referring to just complaining with no obvious sincere asking for advice.


And I am also referring to adverse (bad) information, not information in general that’s available regardless of whether the parents deliberately reveal it to strangers who would not otherwise ever know it.

quote:

Originally posted by smschulz:
Context is everything, IMO.

This ^^^^

Posting here about how my little genius blew up the toilet in my house by dropping a few M80s in it “cause he did not understand how something could burn under water” is not a big deal.

Posting pictures of his punishment in order to publicly shame or humiliate him is a different thing completely.

When I see the videos of parents shooting or smashing their kids electronics I think to myself that it might have been a great job of parenting if they had just kept the family business within the family.

I think it's in poor form, but it's hardly 'child abuse'.

It's amazing how many good people are relatively poor parents - I'm not saying horrible people, but just bad at raising offspring to be responsible and self-sufficient.

Too much TV, too much shuffling the kids off on Grandma and Grandpa, you name it. 95% of kids are like dogs, they are what they are taught - so if your kid is a punk, it's likely your fault.

I don't put anything about my family nor myself on the net that is not cloaked in anonymity. You all have read stories about Mrs DF and the boys, but no one knows who they are nor what they look like. I have no FB/twitter/etc presence in spite of the ceaseless efforts of my extended family to get me to.

It’s nobody’s business. Praise in public, punish in private. The internet is forever.

Nar-Anon and Al-Anon programs would help a lot of people with this, regardless of whether their kids have chemical addiction issues.

quote:

I think it's in poor form, but it's hardly 'child abuse'.

Public humiliation was a favorite punishment used by the Puritans. Think about it for a minute.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
It’s nobody’s business. Praise in public, punish in private. The internet is forever.

Very much so.

I don't think much of it, but it's better, I suppose, than calling 911 because the kid won't go to bed.

I think it depends. First I would never mention names and would avoid saying anything truly derogatory.

But bitching about one of my knuckle headed sons losing his keys again or not picking up his socks that he left under the kitchen table, well that is fair game.

I don't - and there is a bad egg in my brood.

quote:

Originally posted by GregY:

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
It’s nobody’s business. Praise in public, punish in private. The internet is forever.

Very much so.

agree

i don't like 'reality' shows that feature kids either - they don't have achoice in having their lives exposed

----------------------------

When all the parents start posting rainbows and sunshine because my kids are back at school and I don't have to del with them anymore for 1/2 a day. That shit really irkes me. Your kids are going to read that and its going to hurt them. Your an asshole for writing it IMO.

I also have a tendency to love being with my kids so maybe I am the loser, but I think not.