Great minds think alike. My little brother and I thought the same thing!
When I was about 5, I walked across the street as the neighbors were loading up camper for a trip. I think I asked them about an ice chest for beer or something. They said they don't drink.
I thought that was quite odd, and out of ordinary.
I went on for quite some time, perhaps a few years, thinking that some people just didn't drink.
And I thought, how could that be?
Insert your favorite gun-related witticism here!
|Bunch of savages |
in this town
My Aunt told me a story of two American Indians who were banished from their tribe, by their father, the chief.
After awhile, the chief regretted his decision, so he asked that signs be posted looking for his children, Falling Rock and Running Deer. One sign said "Look Out For Falling Rock", and the other said "Beware of Running Deer".
I'm pretty sure I believed that until I was about 25.
I apologize now...
|The Unknown |
I didn't understand the difference between a shell, a load, and a cartridge, and I damn sure didn't understand how they worked.
I was amazed one day watching dad shoot clays and how something came out the end - obviously - because the bird got dusted, but then the shell came out the side too?
Did you have to waste one to shoot one or what? Just couldn't figure out how if you shot the gun, there was something left after the boom.
Kid logic, I guess.
|I'm not laughing |
I used to think that married couples (parents excluded) had sex every night. Sigh, I really miss that one not being true.
NRA Range Safety Officer
NRA Certified Instructor - Pistol / Personal Protection Inside the Home
|Official Space Nerd|
Marshmallows were made from toilet paper - that's why they burn when you roast them over the fire.
I was 9 before I realized I had TWO sets of grandparents.
I saw an avalanche movie, and asked why the bad guy was so mad. Parents told me because he was 'fired.' I thought they toasted him with a flame thrower. No wonder he wanted to kill everybody. . .
I thought movies were real, in that when a character died, the actor died in real life.
I wasn't very bright. . .
No arsenal is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
When I was in grade school (80's) my mom had me in the pharmacy and I must have been near the condom rack (not behind the counter!). I remember seeing the package which advertised something akin to "for a greater feeling of love" or some such. Being quite inquisitive, I loudly asked mom how medicine could make someone feel more in love. I don't recall her answer, but I'm sure she was mortified!
|Edge seeking |
I was listening to my scoutmaster who was an Army lifer and Guardsman talkin about shooting at the rifle range, and asked how many shots were in a "round"
Our campsite for regular campouts was right next to a rifle range. I'd go dig bullets from the berms.
Oh, good. I don't feel so bad now.
|Do No Harm,|
Do Know Harm
At around 5 or so I recall asking my mother how old girls had to be before they could pee out their butts.
I knew girls didn't have tallywhackers, and my mom and sister always sat down to pee. Plus, we lived on a farm and chickens peed and pooped out of the same spot... Made sense to me
Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.
Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard.
"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
|A Grateful American|
I am blessed (and cursed) with remarkable recall and remember my mother taking me to the bowling alley and leaving me in something similar to a "Baby carrier".
I would stare at the overhead projector they used to display the score sheets and I thought that there were people in a room upstairs writing and it was shadows on the screen like shadow puppets.
The other thing was about that same time-frame, laying in a shopping cart and looking up at the concentric vents and hearing music and thinking it was coming form those vents. (It was Big Band muzak)
"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I was only about 3 years old when the Korean War broke out, and I could have sworn that our troops were commanded by some guy named "Macgenical Arthur."
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H L Mencken
Mine was like Para's. I was at an older cousin's wedding. I was thinking, well of course there's a God, because after this couple gets married, they'll get to have a baby.
"Look around. Female capitalists do well. Black capitalists do well. Hispanic capitalists do well. Those socialists, not so much, so often. There isn’t enough free shit to go around, and never will be. "--Jim Allen, sage
|Live for today. |
I remember seeing this sign on the side of the road and marvelling that my pop was ignoring it again and again.
I'm guessing that I was about 5 at the time.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
|Not really from Vienna|
I always heard my grandparents talking about "colored people" and sure looked forward to the day I'd see blue, green, purple, red, etc folks. I was disappointed when Grandmommy finally showed me a colored person when I was around five. They were regular Negros!
Same with the "gas war" Dad and Grandpa always talked about. I figured people were using flamethrowers on each other somewhere in the area. Seemed very exciting.
We have enough youth. What we need is a "Fountain of Smart".
|Evil Asian Member|
Well, let's see. I remember that as a kid I had always heard "Throw caution to the wind" as "throw caush into the wind." I knew what the phrase meant, but it took me a long time to figure out what the hell caush was.
Also, I remember spending the night at my friend's house, and his family had a routine where they would go down to the donut store on Saturday morning and get donut holes for breakfast. I had never heard of donut holes and thought his family was teasing me. I was like, "They're holes? So, you're going to be serving an empty plate? It's a joke, right?" and they were all, "No, donut holes! What's the matter with you?" I couldn't grasp what they were talking about.
I had a young lady that worked for me. Her birthday was on the 4th of July and she believed that they shot fireworks on the 4th because it was her birthday. She didn't find out otherwise until she was 8 years old.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming…......WOW! WHAT A RIDE!
|Lucky to be Irish|
As a kid, playing cops and robbers, there was the term "cover me" that was used by all the cowboys and cops etc. on TV. The only thing I could figure this meant was to shoot a continuous stream of bullets around the person I was "covering" so the bad guy bullets couldn't get through and hit the good guy.
And finally, for many years of my young life, I thought they were saying "The LONG Ranger" because I had never heard the word "lone" before.
|Invest Early, Invest Often|
I was probably around 10 years old and my parents put me on a plane (by myself) at Oakland to go visit my grandparents in Portland, Oregon. They drove up the next week with my brother and sister.
As we were flying I was SURE the pilot had gotten lost. There was way too much snow (clouds !) below the plane, we must be in Alaska.
NRA Benefactor Life Member
When my kid was a toddler, I taught him to feed peanuts to the chipmunks that lived in our yard.
The toddler pronunciation of chipmunk became:
Last time he visited me, he saw I had a fine crop of Yooper chipmunks. And he called them "chickmunks".
Took me right back to days gone by!
End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
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