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| Member |
Is there a specific legal recourse that would prevent an ex-spouse from listing their former spouse as a character reference on a loan application? Perhaps a "cease and desist" letter, or would that even accomplish anything? Thanks in advance for any insight. Greg | ||
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Fighting the good fight |
Well, if you give them a terrible reference when the bank calls, I bet they won't do it again...  | |||
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The Unmanned Writer |
Let them and as noted, be honest. Sooner or later the ex may catch on. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers | |||
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| I believe in the principle of Due Process  |
A cease and desist letter is nothing more than a request. There is no enforcement arrangement. How about, "Dear Bank, I have received your correspondence requesting information regarding the character of {ex spouse}. My grandmother taught me that if one cannot say something nice, to say nothing. Very truly yours GT" Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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Member |
Or you could do what employers do with questionable employees. "I verify she was my spouse between XX and YYY." Then let the underwriters read between the lines, and you haven't libeled/ slandered. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. - Dave Barry "Never go through life saying 'I should have'..." - quote from the 9/11 Boatlift Story (thanks, sdy for posting it) | |||
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| A teetotaling beer aficionado  |
I'd be careful about giving a negative report unless it is absolutely 100% true. Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves. -D.H. Lawrence | |||
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| Member |
This makes the most sense. I guess she holds you in high regard. I typically ask permission if I may use someone for a reference no matter the reason. This sort of thing is not common. Is she a millenial? LOL | |||
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Member |
You mean to suggest that someone actually calls a reference? I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown ................................... When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham | |||
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Corgis Rock |
This could be the problem. The loan officer could assume it was an amicable divorce and no call is required. I can't see an way the former spouse spouse can stop it. “ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. | |||
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Repressed |
There wouldn't be any cause of action in any jurisdiction in which I am licensed, unless you have something in a judgment from the court which presided over the divorce obligating you to provide a reference (or, not use the other party as a reference). I'd consider either of those possibilities unlikely, but sometimes strange things can make it into divorce decrees. Without something more that isn't mentioned in the facts presented in the O.P, you don't have an obligation to respond to the request. You can simply decline to give a reference, and go on with your life. -ShneaSIG Oh, by the way, which one's "Pink?" | |||
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| Smarter than the average bear |
A bank is not going to call a "character reference" to help in the loan making decision. The reason that loan applications ask for "references" is so in the event of a default they have some leads to try to find the deadbeat. OP should not have any problem or complaint about filling that role. | |||
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| Member |
Thanks to everyone for the replies. Any yes, I did purposely choose to leave some relevant information out of the original post.
This is exactly the situation. Using an ex-spouse for a loan application reference is probably pretty dumb to begin with, but especially if the divorce was anything but amicable, and the individual seeking the loan has a lengthy history of credit defaults. Although not checking character references might be the norm, one would think that an abysmal credit history would either give pause or require some additional investigation. Suffice it to say that being reminded of a previous mistake in life even after 20 years is more than a little frustrating. | |||
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