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Member |
I'm crushed.  And I had no idea!  When I first moved to this area almost 30 years ago, I applied for a part-time job. The job was at, literally, a mom-and-pop shop in town. It was to be a short-term project, maybe lasting 3-4 months. I worked there for almost four years. Nearly everyone there (8 or 10 employees) was family. Mr and Mrs M took me and my college girlfriend in as part of their family, often inviting us for dinners or cookouts. They were there when the GF and I got married. They wished me well when I finished college and moved on to a "real" job. After I changed jobs, I received a check in the mail -- Mr and Mrs A had taken an insurance policy on me while I worked for them, and cashed it out when I left. They gave me the proceeds. Their youngest son later took over the shop; he and I were friends while I worked there, and afterward. Later on, I bought a house that was on the same street as their oldest son. Mr and Mrs M became friends with my parents. My "brother from another mother" called a few minutes ago with the news. He'd been to the shop and talked to the youngest son for a bit, casually asking the usual, "How's your dad?" That's when he got the news: Mr M had died. I had no idea. I'm both sad and angry. I'm crushed that he's gone, and that Mrs A is alone. At the same time, I'm mad as hell! Mr. M passed back in May! In MAY!! Nobody frickin' told me?! Okay, so maybe it's my fault for not monitoring the obituaries, but... DAMN! Frickin' eight months ago?!?! I don't know what else to say. Enjoy God's peace, Mr. M. We love you still. God bless America. | ||
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Age Quod Agis |
If you are local, take Mrs. M to lunch, and tell her how much he meant to you. "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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| Member |
Sorry to hear. They sound like great people. Good people are few and far between these days. ____________________________________________________ The butcher with the sharpest knife has the warmest heart. | |||
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Member |
What a Norman Rockwell experience you had in your life. Few in this world have stories like that. Feel your grief and gratitude and let the rest go. The beginning and the end don't really matter that much. Important people get forgotten during the trauma of a family tragedy. Sorry for you loss. | |||
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| Member |
You were truly blessed to know such kind folks. Good thoughts your way. | |||
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Member |
Don't be angry. You loved the family go see Mrs. M. | |||
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Not really from Vienna |
Condolences on the loss of your friend/boss. In a stressful time like the loss of a loved one sometimes it's difficult to think of everyone who should be notified, so don't take it personally that his family didn't contact you when he passed. | |||
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| Member |
Thanks, fellas. So many more memories and thoughts keep cropping up now. Good grief, the fun we had there! He was shorter than me, but had these "bear paw" hands. He'd catch me concentrating, not paying attention to the office door, and smack the top of a desk or file cabinet open handed -- scared the crap out of me, and laughed so hard afterward. I was working the front one day and he took the secretary to the back office and had her call me from the office phone (outside call). She disguised her voice and started asking me to help size tires for her car, giving me as little information as she could, and peppering me with questions. He was testing me, to see how I'd handle a call like that. I did a good job with it, I thought, right up until they burst out laughing in the office, giving themselves away.  There was an ugly rubber Halloween mask at the shop. One never knew who'd show up wearing it, or when. But you knew someone was gonna get sneaked up on! The rubber rat and rubber snake were frequent visitors, too. Omgosh, the way he described (to a customer) the mechanism inside a turn signal stalk! I had to walk away, for it was so frank and so funny... I didn't want to laugh out loud in front of him or the customer. One of the farmers in town owed the shop a lot of money. Mr M said one afternoon, "well, if he doesn't pay soon, I'll just ride down there and paint a big ol' M on the side of one of his cows." I knew he was kidding, but I knew he and the farmer knew each other well enough that he just might do it! Evil Siamese Cat tipped over my grandfather clock, breaking the glass and separating the case a little. Mr M's brother was a woodworker. Next thing I know, his brother had my clock fixed -- good as new, new glass and all. I called Mr M one day after class, stressing about an upcoming exam. I was scheduled to work that afternoon, but really needed to study. With a phrase that I picked up and use even to this day, he said, "We'll work it out." He was far less worried about it than I was.... I was out of town once and something (I don't remember what) went wrong at the house. Mrs Vthoky (the first one) intended to call her dad for help but inadvertently dialed Mr M instead. As soon as he answered, she started: "Daddy, I -- " and went on describing the problem, then recognized she'd blurted things out before realizing she'd dialed wrong. Mr M said, "It's okay, I'll be your daddy today. What's wrong?" He WAS like a dad to us. She's no longer Mrs Vthoky (almost eight years now), but I wonder now if she knows? I haven't talked to her in almost three years. If she knew, I would think she'd have gotten word to me. Maybe she doesn't know? Should I call her? Good grief. God bless America. | |||
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A Grateful American |
May the good memories be with you always. And remember, it was a two-way gig. You gave them joy and friendship, that is/was cherished. Call and share with anyone you think will appreciate it. That matters. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Member |
You were blessed. As to telling the ex Mrs. Don't know your terms with her but in my mind your final paragraph answers your question. She'd get word to you so I'd get word to her. Sorry for your loss. | |||
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| Member |
Sorry to hear that. My condolences. Sounds like really good folks. | |||
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BBQ Sauce for Everyone! |
Yes, IMO you should. Don't be upset if she already knows and didn't tell you though. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein | |||
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| Member |
I can't really disagree. I haven't a clue how to approach this one. How screwed-up is it to call and say, "Hey, how are ya? We haven't talked in almost three years, but did you know Mr M had passed?" Eesh. God bless America. | |||
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| Member |
How about, hi! I’m in town, would you go out to lunch with me? Looking back doesn’t help much except to learn from previous mistakes. P226 9mm CT Springfield custom 1911 hardball Glock 21 Les Baer Special Tactical AR-15 | |||
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| Member |
It's a thought. The last time we talked, it was peaceful. I imagine we could have a good talk again, particularly if kept on-topic. God bless America. | |||
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| Member |
Absolutely. Even if the interaction goes south, at least you will have taken the high road. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "And it's time that particularly, some of our corporations learned, that when you get in bed with government, you're going to get more than a good night's sleep." - Ronald Reagan | |||
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| BBQ Sauce for Everyone! |
How about "Hi, its vthoky. How have you been? I just learned that Mr. M passed away and I wanted to make sure you knew. I was thinking about all the wonderful memories, and I couldnt help but think of you too." Make sure the current Mrs. vthoky is in the loop on the call. Who knows? Perhaps the former Mrs. will get to spend some happy moments remembering him and it will put a smile on her face like it has yours? "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein | |||
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| Member |
Thank you. That's a better approach than anything I've come up with so far. God bless America. | |||
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| BBQ Sauce for Everyone! |
Good luck! I am sorry for your loss, but I believe that you are richer for knowing him and his family based on what you described above. When you can write words of joy after a man's passing, I don't know that you can pay him a higher compliment. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein | |||
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| Member |
I certainly am.
What a beautiful statement. God bless America. | |||
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