About 5 years back my ex wife decided that she not only didn't really want to be married, but that she wasn't much interested in being a mother either. So she left. Obviously time spent on this forum has dwindled since.

At the time, my girls were about 5 and 6 years old. Now they are obviously a bit older and we've settled into a nice groove as to how to get by. In many ways things are actually much better than before.

But I immediately noticed when I'd take them shopping for clothes that every, single salesperson has a comment to make about how nice it is for me to "give mom the day off" or how sweet it is for me to "let mom sleep in." The other day a lady took one look and loudly said, "Where's mom?!"

Have any of you EVER experienced this? I'm starting to wonder why this is. I took them shopping when I was married and never had this issue. It's like some weird societal stereotype.

My daughter is only 15 months old, but yes, I've already experienced it. In particular, I go food shopping with my daughter late in the afternoon after my wife goes to work usually and will get comments like that constantly.

But then I also get tons of smiles from lots of women.

Then again, maybe they're just smiling at my cute daughter...

I don't get that "treatment" much to be honest, but it would piss me off if it did. Our 6yo girl is with me a lot of the time since I work from home...I'm pretty much Mr.Mom during the week while my wife works. People are stupid, don't let it get to you.

I actually got a comment today in target. My wife and daughter were looking at toys and I brought my 18 month old son with me to get juice and look around the clearance section.
A couple around my age with a son said to each other "see he can take his son by himself" the woman said to me after "it's nice to see you take your kid out without mom".
I kinda laughed and said "my wife and daughter are over there".

It does happen fairly regularly when I am with one of the 2 kids or even both. My standard reply is something along the lines of "well I am their father I am equipped to care for my children"

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:

Then again, maybe they're just smiling at my cute daughter...

Yes, they are.

I would be lying if I said it doesn't get to me. This is odd because I'm generally painfully calm.

But some people are sooooo rude about it. The lady who loudly asked, "Where's mom?" got a response of "Not here." To which she responded, "But where IS she??"

THAT stopped me dead in my tracks and I turned around. My oldest daughter knew damn well what was about to happen and said, "she's working." And she tugged on me to keep me moving.

I'm just shocked by how stupid some people can be. Screw it.

I have 21yo and 20yo daughters and i have never been asked such a question. And they both love to shoot

Take one of those internet coupons and for ten bucks print up some business card sized notes to hand to these dolts who revel in their ignorance, then immediately walk away.

My daughters' mother abandoned them
as little girls and I have raised
them myself. Please take this
moment to reflect on your intrusive,
stereotypical behaviour and next time
think before you speak uninvited.

I have two daughters. The women that make these comments have THEIR ISSUES, that they are projecting onto you. Ignoring this sort of thing is best. Smile and move on. Some people cannot simply mind their own business.

ChuckFinley-

Good thinking.

Yep. I have custody of my teenage daughter (17) and have had this happen too. I just smile and brush it off.
Some people are just to stupid to respond to.

Dad of 23-year old and 9-year old daughters. I've gotten those comments too.

Good response is "bless your heart". Or, "I'm doing my best to raise them to not be nosy bitches..."

quote:

Good response is "bless your heart". Or, "I'm doing my best to raise them to not be nosy bitches..."

My GF is from SC. As I understand it "Bless your heart" is another way of calling someone an idiot.

West coast people don't get that.

BTDT with an 11 month old.

"Mr. Mom"

Let such things go. Strangers neither care nor will have much concern for what your dealing with. And you likely will never encountervthem again. So why worry over it?

Focus on the best things for your girls.

That investment will payout huge returns.

Daughter is 31 and I have 3 beautiful grandchildren. 6-11.

No regrets.

Not just for Dads of girls.
I posted about this awhile back in the what's your deal section.
I frequently take my boys out shopping or to the park without my wife when she is at the gym or doing other things.

I constantly get the ohh look Dad is babysitting comments.
I generally keep my cool pretty well with folks stupid comments. Though these comments burn me up and I am usually quite short in letting the know I am not babysitting for mom, I am being their freaking father!!!!!

It tends to be older females that make the comments so maybe something to do with old societal norms but still burns me up.

Tell them you are their mom and then see if they continue to ask questions.

I love taking my kids to Chick Fil A, Cabelas, Walmart, Target, etc. All together, one on one, whatever it is. Its quality time with my kids and i look forward to it.

But yes. I constantly get comments about me "giving the wife a break."

It bothered me for quite a while too. I shake it off now. It annoys me that its apparently weird for dads to spend time with their kids.or, if not weird, people act like its a chore that i should bemoan if not hate doing.

This is a sure fire way to set me over the edge. As a daughter who was raised by her father (because Mom decided she didn't want to raise her two children anymore and drugs are more fun), i can't tell you how many uncomfortable encounters I've had. When I won an award at work, everyone asked me "are you goin to call your mom"... And I responded, "no but I'm going to tell my dad." Which should have been a subtle hint, but instead they keep asking but what about your mom?!? Until your forced to tell them you haven't talked to said person in a decade and to stfu. Not to mention the relative strangers that try to tell me my life will never be right without my mother.

Thank God for all you fathers out there. Whether or not the mother is still in the picture, you are just as important. And to the OP, special thanks to you. Daughters are tough

Tell them that she's with a John (or customer) from craigslist, she skipped out on us x years ago. LOL

quote:

Originally posted by PorterN:

But yes. I constantly get comments about me "giving the wife a break."

Yep, for the last (XX) years.

I normally got smiles... times do change it seems.

Maybe for some of them it's their way to find out if you're single? As most fathers with children are more desired by women.