quote:

Originally posted by XLT:
Tell her not to eat to much and put on excess weight sleep all you can all you can trust me, it will be years before you make it thru the night.

The sleep is important. Get it now, while you can.

I have a 6 and an 8 year old. The sleep deprivation years are past but recent enough that I remember them well. (Still have the odd barely-slept night when one of them is sick, but that hardly counts.)

I must have lucked out.
My wife had a dream pregnancy.
No weird mood swings, food cravings, sickness, nothing.
Good Luck.
Nothing more exciting and scary than the feeling of the nurse handing you a perfectly blanketed baby, saying congratulations Dad, and walking away.
You realize at that moment, oh shit, there is no manual with this thing.

quote:

Originally posted by JSB3:
I must have lucked out.
My wife had a dream pregnancy.
No weird mood swings, food cravings, sickness, nothing.
Good Luck.
Nothing more exciting and scary than the feeling of the nurse handing you a perfectly blanketed baby, saying congratulations Dad, and walking away.
You realize at that moment, oh shit, there is no manual with this thing.

That 'no manual' thing is for real. The first few weeks after our first was born were nonstop mortal terror, from the combination of the overwhelming responsibility and not knowing what to do.

If you have family or friends with child rearing experience, talk to them. Ask questions. Listen. The only family and friends we had nearby were all childless so no help/experience/advice there. Ugh.

quote:

Originally posted by JSB3:
I must have lucked out.
My wife had a dream pregnancy.
No weird mood swings, food cravings, sickness, nothing.
Good Luck.
Nothing more exciting and scary than the feeling of the nurse handing you a perfectly blanketed baby, saying congratulations Dad, and walking away.
You realize at that moment, oh shit, there is no manual with this thing.

Mine too. Though she had a pretty rough delivery so I guess it was a trade off.

Yup. They don't come with a manual and you can't return them. Lot of time spent watching them sleep and wondering what to do next.

quote:

Originally posted by RAMIUS:

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:

Oh God. What's that mean??

Run Forrest, run.

quote:

Originally posted by RAMIUS:
Wife is pregnant with our first...only a month and a half in.

Normally, she's a very chill, beautiful, relaxed person. Now she's like Godzilla on steroids.

She's got a hair trigger and gets set off with the slightest thing.

I'm. So. Scared.

Hahahaha. It could get worse or it could get better. Time will tell.
Hopefully after your child is born, she isn't the hormonal, crying mess that some are. Whoops, I'm spoiling the fun.

Mrs. was preggers and a charge nurse in the ER.

A patient was being a pain in the ass and she grabbed a long needle.

"I'm pregnant and not in a good mood. Sit you ass down, shut the hell up or I will use this on you."

Guess he was a model citizen after that.

DO NOT

1- ask them how long they will be throwing up in the morning, even if you only have a 1 bathroom house and are starting to be very late for work and need to get ready and you have been supportive and very delicate through 8 months of morning sickness... (Some women get lucky and have it the WHOLE time)

2- when she is very far along, do not ever complain about being uncomfortable or being in an uncomfortable chair, etc. Especially if it's a crappy hospital chair after a few hours of labor...

3- stop to get yourself some McDonald's on your way to the delivery because "it could be a while before I get to eat again" This also counts when it's a scheduled C section and she isn't in actual labor or anything

4- be prepared to love that kid more than you could ever understand, and be prepared to understand your parents more than you thought possible. and yes all of the jokes are true, you won't recognize your parents when they go into grandparent mode, it's half hilarious and half shocking.

Be prepared to stop at the bathroom every 100 yards.

If she says "You know what sounds good to eat?" Immediately find the place that serves that food. Lights and sirens on.

quote:

Originally posted by k5blazer:
Yup. They don't come with a manual and you can't return them. Lot of time spent watching them sleep and wondering what to do next.

The baby or the wife?

Just don't comment about how much toilet paper she uses...

Everyone has a story. None of them the same. Everyone will have some different experience. Remain calm and roll with it, billions of Dads have so you can too.

Ohh my God the pregnancy vest thing!!!!!

I leaned over and VERY quietly whispered to the guy next to me. "Geez no big deal I thought this would be way heavier."

Important lesson. Pregnant women have the hearing of an exceptional bat. I know this because 14 angry pregnant women looked at me like I was the "Star" in a Lifetime movie. I swear I heard one of them say "get a rope!"

quote:

Originally posted by RAMIUS:
She's got a hair trigger and gets set off with the slightest thing.

I joke with my wife that the nine months she was pregnant was the most normal, enjoyable, period of her life. My advise, don't do this.

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
...Though she had a pretty rough delivery so I guess it was a trade off.

I had a couple sisters. One called me at work to describe the other's experience delivering her first kid: "...and she finally delivered after 36 hours' labor!!!"

I said, "So, they screwed it in too tight?"

Don't forget about the increased propensity towards forgetfulness and rapidly switching tasks, and loss of focus.

quote:

Originally posted by cslinger:
Ohh my God the pregnancy vest thing!!!!!

I leaned over and VERY quietly whispered to the guy next to me. "Geez no big deal I thought this would be way heavier."

Important lesson. Pregnant women have the hearing of an exceptional bat. I know this because 14 angry pregnant women looked at me like I was the "Star" in a Lifetime movie. I swear I heard one of them say "get a rope!"

My wife asked me if I was willing to wear one when she was preggo. I responded that I'd be willing to sign on if she'd be willing to shove a potato slicer up her rectum when I got prostate surgery later in life. For whatever reason, she couldn't see a reasonable correlation. Go figure.

Remember - It's all your fault and it always will be.

Now man up and begin your journey.

quote:

Originally posted by RAMIUS:

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:

Oh God. What's that mean??

I see many other, more experienced husbands and fathers have had a chance to explain it for me. But I'll add my own special qualifier story anyhow.

The short version is, my wife was on the happy end of the emotional scale. But she also developed an extremely sensitive nose. There was a night she sent me out to get Dairy Queen (the one thing she craved while pregnant was a Blizzard), and when I returned with it and she got down to business, I... uh... inadvertently passed some gas. In the next room. I didn't think it was all that bad. In truth, it was about a 3.5 out of ten on the scale of what I'm capable of. But it was more than enough to make her physically sick to her stomach, go heave what little she had eaten, and then cry about it. I tried to apologize and offered whatever I could think to make it better, but the one time I cracked with a suppressed giggle, she uh, kinda lost it. I don't even remember what all she raved about, it was completely beyond either of our control at that point.



The creature that is replacing your wife is important, but temporary.