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Political Cynic
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Paul Lynde was a really, really, really funny guy

the original Hollywood Squares was a riot



[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC


 
Posts: 53165 | Location: Tucson Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of 2012BOSS302
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Always enjoyed watching this - Paul was great to have as a middle square.

Nylon is stronger than steel.
Paul: But steel panties don't turn me on.

There is a new bra that squeaks various musical tones....
Paul: The hills are alive with the sound of....

Does Mark Spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster?
Paul: Well it's easier to steer.

According to Hugh Hefner, is inflation a big problem in the Playboy Empire?
Paul: Inflation? Did you see Miss February?

Dangerfield another classic funny guy




Donald Trump is not a politician, he is a leader, politicians are a dime a dozen, leaders are priceless.
 
Posts: 3791 | Location: Idaho | Registered: January 26, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I kneel for my God,
and I stand for my flag
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Those were the good old days. The Carol Burnett Show was another favorite, especially when they'd crack each other up and try not to laugh during their routine. Harvey Korman and Tim Conway, what a great pairing!
 
Posts: 1809 | Location: Oregon | Registered: September 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Slayer of Agapanthus


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The dentist skit is hilarious!


"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre.
 
Posts: 5962 | Location: Central Texas | Registered: September 14, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Bad dog!
Picture of justjoe
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Lynde was far and away the most consistently funny. But he was not alone. These are from a Snopes forum. My favorite:

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


THE OLD HOLLYWOOD SQUARES

If you remember this show and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes.
They are well worth the time it takes to read them. These great questions and
answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses
were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers
among you won't know who some of these people are. Go ask your parents.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive,
is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a
gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A.. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually
seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


______________________________________________________

"You get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone."
 
Posts: 11106 | Location: pennsylvania | Registered: June 05, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
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I forgot about George Gobel and Charlie Weaver

they were great



[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC


 
Posts: 53165 | Location: Tucson Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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When I was a kid , I would watch Johnny Carson with my Dad . I learned to appreciate the old comedians while all of my friends were watching cartoons .
 
Posts: 4049 | Location: Down in Louisiana . | Registered: February 27, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Really Liked Paul also, very funny and he knew it. Not many people make me laugh, he was one though that did.


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Posts: 2794 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 18, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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