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OMG I'm going to get married again. Propose on Valentine's Day or too cliche? Login/Join 
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
posted
I'm kind of shocked at myself. I said before that I would never ever never get married again. Some of you have been along for the ride since my divorce, all the crap with the ex, etc.

Some of you know the crazy story of how I met my new significant other and how I totally thought she was a crazy person after our first "date".

Anyhow it's been about 2 years. We built a house together and are super happy. I am truly shocked at how good a woman can treat a man, after year of being treated like dog shit by the ex wife.

So I have our man Dave Truong working on a ring and it may be here before Valentine's Day. I had no real time set to propose but since timing is right I'm wondering if this would be a good idea. We already have reservations at one of our favorite restaurants. She has mentioned how her ex husband's proposal was lame and she would like it to be special. But I am sort of anxious is social situations and very self conscious. I want it to be special but not a big public thing.

I'm open to ideas. Thanks!




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of vthoky
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(All I can offer is, "Congratulations, and best wishes for a successful do-over.") Smile




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Posts: 13427 | Location: The mountainous part of Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Donate Blood,
Save a Life!
Picture of StarTraveler
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Congrats!

Do something special BEFORE Valentine’s Day so you can both enjoy that day together. If you wait until V-Day, tension will be high and neither of you will enjoy the day as much.

From one with a sincere dislike of Valentine’s Day due to all the crap that occurred over the years who finally proposed a couple weeks early and was so glad I did!


***

"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam (I will either find a way or make one)." -- Hannibal Barca
 
Posts: 2094 | Location: Georgia | Registered: July 19, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No good deed
goes unpunished
Picture of cheesegrits
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Valentine's Day wouldn't be my choice, nor would a public place like a restaurant. It's a private moment, IMO.

My husband proposed on a fall evening when we were out looking at stars.

You should do whatever you think your GF would prefer. She may want the big, public gesture, or she may be like me and want it to be private.

Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well!
 
Posts: 2680 | Location: The Carolinas | Registered: June 08, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie
Picture of Balzé Halzé
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quote:
Originally posted by cheesegrits:
Valentine's Day wouldn't be my choice, nor would a public place like a restaurant. It's a private moment, IMO.

My husband proposed on a fall evening when we were out looking at stars.

You should do whatever you think your GF would prefer. She may want the big, public gesture, or she may be like me and want it to be private.

Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well!


My penchant is to say exactly this. No to Valentine's day and definitely not in a restaurant. But again, that's me. When I proposed to my wife we were on a private beach in front of our bungalow on Eleuthera Island.

Good luck, buddy. Proud of you for not giving up on the idea of there being truly good women out there.


~Alan

Acta Non Verba
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Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan

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Posts: 30299 | Location: Elv. 7,000 feet, Utah | Registered: October 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Funny Man
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My wife and I tend to both cringe at the "Hallmark Holidays" including Valentine's day so I would probably avoid it for that reason alone. Only you know how your significant other would respond. If I were going to do it on that day I would probably do it just before heading out to dinner so you get all of the glow of a fancy dinner as newly engaged without the public spectacle of the act.


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Posts: 7093 | Location: Austin, TX | Registered: June 29, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Smarter than the
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Congratulations! I would agree with the idea of whatever you think she'd like best, be it a quiet private affair, or in a restaurant. It's a big moment and some people (women) might enjoy the attention of fellow restaurant goers.

I have seen a trend among young people to have basically an engagement party in waiting. Not generally a large affair, but letting a close group of friends know, and planning a time and place that they can show up immediately following the engagement.

Showing off the ring to her best friends is definitely part of the excitement and celebration. If you don't know whether she'd like that, perhaps ask a trusted friend of hers.
 
Posts: 3425 | Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana | Registered: June 20, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
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Okay I think VD is out. But doing something outside won’t work in February in Massachusetts. We are going to Aruba later in the month. But we are going with friends so I don’t want to overshadow their good time by making it about us. Plus my first honeymoon was in Aruba so that may be awkward.

The only thing I had was we agree no gifts on VD so I was maybe going to say “oh I did get you this one small thing...”.




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'd say VD would be a deal breaker for me too Big Grin

Seriously though, before or after Valentine's day would be what I'd do.
 
Posts: 1057 | Location: Texas | Registered: September 18, 2019Reply With QuoteReport This Post
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
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Honestlou I just saw your post. Another idea I was thinking was going to a local bar restaurant we frequent, proposing and have friends coming soon after to help celebrate. She likes people, very social. Seems close to your idea.




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Down on one knee in a private setting was my approach, never regretted it.


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Posts: 3856 | Location: WNY | Registered: April 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Definitely not on Valentine's Day, definitely not in a restaurant.

My husband proposed in private and I'm glad he did.

Friend proposed to his wife after dinner (not on VD), when they went walking around a lake. He was really nervous and didn't know how to start, so he started talking about their first date, which led to the next, and so on. Once they'd reminisced a bit and laughed (quite) a bit, he got down on one knee.

I always thought that was one of the better proposals I'd heard about.


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Posts: 719 | Location: Maryland | Registered: April 30, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Truth Seeker
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Congratulations. I proposed to my wife on Valentines Day, but it was in private. At that time we lived in an apartment and I had it all decorated with Valentines stuff. I made reservations at a nice Italian restaurant and when she got home from work we just got into my truck to go eat without her going into the apartment. After a really nice dinner we went home. Once we got to the apartment door, I told her to hold on as I had a surprise. I went inside the apartment, lit the candles, and turned on romantic music. I had the ring hidden under the couch. When she came into the apartment she was surprised and just thought it was more romance. We sat on the couch and toasted with a glass of wine and then I got on one knee, pulled the ring out from under the couch, and popped the question. No way I would have done it in front of anyone other than her even though I knew she would say yes.




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Posts: 8657 | Location: The Lone Star State | Registered: July 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
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I'd say almost certainly not on Valentine's Day, unless she just happens to be one of those ladies that is totally, absolutely, pants-shittingly goo-goo for Valentine's Day, for whatever reason.

Instead, propose at a time, in a place, and in a manner that fits best to your relationship. Don't do it on 2/14 just because some arbitrary day rolls around and society tries to make you feel obligated.

(But definitely do it on a date that's easy to remember. Round numbers, or the first/last day of the month, or the like. Trust me. That way you'll never have to get the deer-in-the-headlights look when in 27 years the wife says: "Do you know what today is?" And that goes double for when you're choosing your wedding day. Big Grin )
 
Posts: 32430 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Congrats!

I wouldn't do it on VD unless you're 100% sure that's her dream scenario. I'd skip the restaurant proposal too. Find a time and place that's about the two of you.
 
Posts: 4273 | Location: Peoples Republic of Berkeley | Registered: June 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Irksome Whirling Dervish
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Don't get married again.

Instead, get a hamster or a Pet Rock. At least with the hamster if pick one that has a shitty personality they all die within 2 years anyway so you can get another one.
 
Posts: 4069 | Location: "You can't just go to Walmart with a gift card and get a new brother." Janice Serrano | Registered: May 03, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'm Pickle Rick!
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I was Married on Valentines Day on top of the of the The Empire state building. They used to have an essay contest asking what your fondest memories of the iconic building were. My wife wrote a beautiful essay, typically 5000 to 8000 people enter with 4 winners chosen. Empire State Building flipped the bill. Even had our pictures in the New York Post. Pretty cool to say the least. Anyhoot I thought it was cool. Good luck on picking your day. Pickle Rick.


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Posts: 2862 | Location: Lancaster, PA. | Registered: February 06, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ammoholic
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I proposed on a beach the day after the recent solar eclipse. Wife had no idea I was going to ask. It was awesome.

My suggestion is to do it during a vacation or weekend getaway. I sure wouldn't do it at a restaurant or on VD.

No matter how you do it, I'm sure she's going to be happy. Have you guys discussed it? Does she know you are going to ask?

PS I'd still watch them kidneys just in case. She may be playing the long game for your organs.



Jesse

Sic Semper Tyrannis
 
Posts: 20758 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: December 27, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Do it. Make it a special day. Congrats


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Posts: 1369 | Location: Escaped from Kalifornia to Arizona February 2022! | Registered: March 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Anyhow it's been about 2 years. We built a house together and are super happy. I am truly shocked at how good a woman can treat a man, after year of being treated like dog shit by the ex wife.
I know I'm likely to get blasted for this, but if you're truly happy (good for you), why meddle with things. Just enjoy every day.


-----------------------------
Guns are awesome because they shoot solid lead freedom. Every man should have several guns. And several dogs, because a man with a cat is a woman. Kurt Schlichter
 
Posts: 33845 | Location: Orlando, FL | Registered: April 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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