An old woman rode up, got off her old mule and tied it to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, "hey old woman, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "no... I never did dance... Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said "well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now, and started shooting at the old woman's feet.

The old woman prospector -- not wanting to get a toe blown off - started hopping around.

Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No ma'am... But I've always wanted to."





THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:



1 - Never be arrogant.



2 - Never waste your ammunition.



3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.



4 - Always make sure you know who has the final power.



5 - Don't mess with Old People; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Re: "Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.:

Cliff (Cheers) explains the buffalo herd theory to Norm:

“Well you see, Norm, it’s like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Still a good one! Thanks J.