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Picture of ergoproxy
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Sat next to a guy hacking up a storm but wont cover his pie hole. I felt the freaking mists landing on my arm.

Another was a guy, nervously tapping on my chair supports, went on for an hour and a half. Even after flight attendant already informed him that he was bothering the whole row in front of him.
 
Posts: 1158 | Location: USA | Registered: December 28, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A teetotaling
beer aficionado
Picture of NavyGuy
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Flying from Chicago to Newark one Friday afternoon at about 6 pm. Year 1985 or there abouts when I traveled a lot on business. It's Friday, end of work week everyone's jovial. Drinks are flowing as they did back in that time period. About 20 minutes into the flight we went right into what was later confirmed as a tornado. It happened very fast... lightening strikes, crazy wind blowing the plane near upside down. The passenger cabin went for lifting glasses and laughter to complete silence. The plane tossed and turned for about 15 minutes then we returned to nice smooth flight, although the jovial demeanor was gone and for the rest of the flight people just kept to themselves. I must admit I said a prayer.



Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves.

-D.H. Lawrence
 
Posts: 11524 | Location: Fort Worth, Texas | Registered: February 07, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
and this little pig said:
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I've had a couple, but one comes immediately to mind!

Had just been home from a Christmas furlough and had to be at Ft. Sill on Jan 02. New Year's Day, went to Boston for a flight to LaGuardia. It was snowing and was blustery. The flight was OK, but I felt the plane descending. We descended, went lower and lower. the ceiling was rather low due to the snowy conditions. I had a window seat and was looking out the window at the clouds when, out of nowhere, we broke the ceiling and the tarmac was right there.

We hit pretty hard and rebounded up into the clouds. We came down again and hit the runway hard and fast. Once the wheels were stable, we had chewed up lots of the runway and the pilot applied the brakes and reverse thrust HARD! Everybody pitched forward as the plane abruptly slowed down. I could smell the odor of people using their "barf bags".

Once we debarked, I had 20 minutes to get on my next flight!!!

Glad I was young and unaffected!
 
Posts: 3396 | Registered: February 07, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Quit staring at my wife's Butt
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Not my worst experience but the lady in front of me was a bit red faced. soon after we boarded the flight 3 police officers ask her to come with them, a little latter she got back on the flight and her friend she was with asked her what had happened, with out even thinking everyone was listening to her she said her make up case was vibrating. all the people around her busted out laughing.
 
Posts: 5574 | Registered: February 09, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
This Space for Rent
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When we moved to Denver this summer we took our 5 cats on the plane with us. Each cat needed a human chaperone so we brought some friends to lend us a hand. United has a policy where they allow 6 animals in the cabin; 4 in coach and 2 in 1st class. Naturally I took the 1st class seat.

About 45 minutes into the 2+ hour flight the cat I had pee'd, poo'd and puked in her cage bring a nasty odor to the 1st class cabin. The guy next mo me was arched as far as he could from me and holding his nose cause she stunk so bad. He was headed to Hawaii for vacation with his wife and kid (who were behind us. A little later I stood up to stretch and try to pawn the stinky cat off to my wife (with no avail) and the guys wife looks at me and says 'your cat smells bad'.... I was like 'sorry, nothing I can do about it.'.

All the flight attendants could do is be sympathetic to the cat.

In the end, the cats spent at least 8 hours caged up in their carriers. Surprisingly, none of the other cats had issues with their bodily fluids. It was a long day. We felt bad for the cats but thought it was better than driving them 2 days across the country.




We will never know world peace, until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye

Liberals are like pussycats and Twitter is Trump's laser pointer to keep them busy while he takes care of business - Rey HRH.
 
Posts: 5746 | Location: Colorado | Registered: April 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie
Picture of Balzé Halzé
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^^^You felt bad for the cats?

You realize that you had created likely a "worst experience" for many of those passengers, no doubt.

Bringing an animal into first class....I would not be amused to say the least if I were up in first on that flight.


~Alan

Acta Non Verba
NRA Life Member (Patron)
God, Family, Guns, Country

Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan

"Once there was only dark. If you ask me, light is winning." ~Rust Cohle
 
Posts: 30299 | Location: Elv. 7,000 feet, Utah | Registered: October 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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^^^

Yup
 
Posts: 375 | Registered: November 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I had a travel job prior to 9/11/2001 and shortly thereafter. I was a passenger in around 800 commercial flights over a span of 5 or 6 years. Amazingly, I had few experiences I'd classify as "worst" but several I'd call "interesting".

One flight in a small, 19 seat twin turboprop encountered nasty turbulance. Not only were we getting up and down and banking action, but occasionally the plane would spin several degrees one way or the other. Pilots weren't too concerned, but a lady in the front kept yelling, "we're all going to die!" everytime the plane departed straight and level. Seems kind of funny now, but I wasn't so sure she was wrong at the time.

Another time, in an airport in Kansas, I were waiting at the gate for boarding and an announcement was made to the effect that our flight would be delayed due to weather. Nothing but collective whining and moaning from the passengers. I noticed that ground crew were removing ground vehicles and moving the jetways as far away from the planes as possible. If I recall correctly, some aircraft were being pushed back away from the terminal. Post haste, in fact. I looked behind me out the windows facing away from the gate and saw that the sky was black as night. I've never before or since seen the sky that black in the middle of the afternoon. I spoke up loudly saying, "Hey! Look over here. Would you rather be late, or flying in that?" At that moment about a dozen lightning bolts briefly lit up the sky. No more whining. In fact, moments later, we were advised over the PA system to locate the nearest area marked "Tornado Shelter" and await further instructions. Never saw a tornado, however, and was never instructed to occupy one of the shelters.

Perhaps the most interesting flight was from Denver to Washington Dulles one afternoon. I had upgraded to first class due to my gazillion frequent flyer miles and happened to be alone in the first class cabin. After we climbed to cruising altitude, an attractive flight attendant came forward and sat in a seat across the aisle from me and struck up a conversation. Not long into it, she came out of the blue and said, "How would you like to join the mile high club?" For those who don't know, the "mile high club" consists of people who have engaged in intimate activity at an altitude greater than one mile. I said, "I've got two kids and a wife and I'm planning to keep them, so thanks but no thanks. How is that even possible, by the way?" She had an answer for that saying, "There are places on this model aircraft that are completely private. We wouldn't be disturbed for hours." She had a higher opinion of my stamina than I deserved, but I stuck with "I'm married and planning to stay that way."
 
Posts: 1313 | Location: Gainesville, VA | Registered: February 27, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
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Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought that I would be writing a letter like this . . .

I had upgraded to first class due to my gazillion frequent flyer miles and happened to be alone in the first class cabin. After we climbed to cruising altitude, an attractive flight attendant came forward and sat in a seat across the aisle from me and struck up a conversation. Not long into it, she came out of the blue and said, "How would you like to join the mile high club?" For those who don't know, the "mile high club" consists of people who have engaged in intimate activity at an altitude greater than one mile. I said, "I've got two kids and a wife and I'm planning to keep them, so thanks but no thanks. How is that even possible, by the way?" She had an answer for that saying, "There are places on this model aircraft that are completely private. We wouldn't be disturbed for hours." She had a higher opinion of my stamina than I deserved, but I stuck with "I'm married and planning to stay that way."



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 30546 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Too old to run,
too mean to quit!
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quote:
One of the best (though some would not agree) was Dulles to Canton, Ohio, in a puddle-jumper commuter plane through the middle of a wicked thunderstorm. Plane was bouncing around in yaw, roll, and pitch, all at the same time. Roughest flight I've ever been in. I was in the front seat and they had the cockpit door propped open (this was 1992), so I had a great view. Some onboard were likely praying for death, but I enjoyed it.



We were on our way to Frankfurt, Germany in one of those puddle jumpers from (I think Amsterdam). Fully loaded. Not long flight so the single Stewardess got busy right away with "breakfast". Shortly thereafter, I looked up ahead of the plane and saw a thunderstorm that we ended up heading into. I told the wife to put her coffee cup down, tighten her seat belt, and hang on.

Noticed a guy across the aisle from us, had his coffee cup in hand. Was balancing it, up, down, up down, etc as the plane proceeded. Told wife to watch this and pointed to the guy.

About that time, the plane went down, and down again, instead of down and up.

The guy's coffee ended up in a stream about a foot above his cup, and ended up on his suit.

As far as "exciting" plane rides go, it was a C130 flying from Iran to France, over the Mediterranean at about 30000 feet. I was the only passenger. I looked out the window and noticed a stream of black smoke coming out of the outer left engine.

Looked for the crew chief, who was asleep along with the whole crew. Woke him up, pointed to the black smoke. He got excited, woke up the rest of the crew. I went back to my seat and tried to get back absorbed in my book. Noticed someone standing in front of me, looked up and it was the crew chief, holding a back-pack parachute.

Woops!!!!!

Turned out nothing was really wrong as the engine was just "running a bit rich", but he had neglected to give me the "orientation" regarding how to wear and operate the chute. I got a little excited for a minute or 2.


Elk

There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville

FBHO!!!



The Idaho Elk Hunter
 
Posts: 25640 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 16, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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almost 50 years ago I was on a Flying Tiger airliner at about 40,000 feet over the Pacific en route to Viet Nam when we suddenly hit a pocket that caused the aircraft to drop about 15,000 feet. Stuff went flying everywhere including a flight attendant. When the pilot came on the intercom to tell us what had happened he seemed rattled. For the next hour so there was dead silence among the passengers. Ever since I have always been conscientious about my seatbelt.


CMSGT USAF (Retired)
Chief of Police (Retired)
 
Posts: 4358 | Location: Florida Panhandle | Registered: September 27, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of PowerSurge
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Originally posted by V-Tail:
Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought that I would be writing a letter like this . . .

I had upgraded to first class due to my gazillion frequent flyer miles and happened to be alone in the first class cabin. After we climbed to cruising altitude, an attractive flight attendant came forward and sat in a seat across the aisle from me and struck up a conversation. Not long into it, she came out of the blue and said, "How would you like to join the mile high club?" For those who don't know, the "mile high club" consists of people who have engaged in intimate activity at an altitude greater than one mile. I said, "I've got two kids and a wife and I'm planning to keep them, so thanks but no thanks. How is that even possible, by the way?" She had an answer for that saying, "There are places on this model aircraft that are completely private. We wouldn't be disturbed for hours." She had a higher opinion of my stamina than I deserved, but I stuck with "I'm married and planning to stay that way."


Or.....and then he woke up. Smile


———————————————
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Psalm 14:1
 
Posts: 3955 | Location: Northeast Georgia | Registered: November 18, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Rev. A. J. Forsyth
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It was a long day. We felt bad for the cats but thought it was better than driving them 2 days across the country.


Better for you perhaps, but not for the entire first class cabin that had to smell every bodily fluid an animal can excrete.
 
Posts: 1639 | Location: Winston-Salem  | Registered: April 01, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Stangosaurus Rex
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I'm currently on day 14 of a cold that I'm pretty sure I caught on a plane ride to Norfolk Va from WPB via the ATL.


___________________________
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Beth Greene
 
Posts: 7840 | Location: South Florida | Registered: January 09, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
drop and give me
20 pushups
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1n the very late 60'S was on a turbo jet prop flight across country (military but a comercial civilan) plane.. very rough ride till looking out window and saw the wings (both sides) flapping up and down like a real bird in flight.... thought the wings were going to fall off... flight landed without incident. ........

on a flight to KOREA(1969)


was on approach to a airfield in JAPAN.. as we decending all around was water...the more we decended the closer the water ... at one point we were going to be swimming but out of nowhere the runway appeared as a long pier extending into the body of water... landed and rolled to the terminal.. will admit to the "pucker factor" was in full effect........... drill sgt.
 
Posts: 1954 | Location: denham springs , la | Registered: October 19, 2019Reply With QuoteReport This Post
blame canada
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Electrical fire and smoke in the cockpit over mountains in Oregon once in a C210J. That sorta sucked, but not too terribly. Holes coming through the cargo ramp, right aux & right external sucked a little, but we were too busy to be scared until later. Found more holes later. I lost all electrical, including panel and exterior lights on a night flight over Washington State once. Had to use steam gauges by the moonlight. It wasn't fun...but it wasn't scary. Probably the worst experiences in a couple thousand flying hours have been the ones where I flew coach next to rude, stinky people. I hate flying airline cattle class with a passion.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The trouble with our Liberal friends...is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagan, 1964
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Arguing with some people is like playing chess with a pigeon. It doesn't matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon will just take a shit on the board, strut around knocking over all the pieces and act like it won.. and in some cases it will insult you at the same time." DevlDogs55, 2014 Big Grin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

www.rikrlandvs.com
 
Posts: 13939 | Location: On the mouth of the great Kenai River | Registered: June 24, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
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compared to you guys, I haven’t really had that bad an experience. The flights have been okay. Leading up to, and after has been a tremendous pain in the ass.

Worst flights, LAX, sat on the tarmac, back to fix and issue, out to fly, back to get fuel, back to fly. LA to Sacramento, 5 hours.

Flight from Seattle to Baltimore was so cramped, back of the plane, shitter stunk, My boss, the VP of Operations deemed it in humane conditions. It seemed like a flight to me. He sprung for first class upgrades for the ride home.

Seattle to Dallas to Amsterdam. Board plane in Dallas. Ask wife to load me up with alka seltzer cold, night time. She gives me four tabs if daytime. Wired all the way to Amsterdam. She slept like a baby. The ride home... there were maybe 20 of us on a big ass plane. Wife and I had five middle seats all to ourselves.



quote:
Originally posted by parabellum: You must have your pants custom tailored to fit your massive balls.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4023 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Flew to Denver once and this cat shit all over first class ...

MDS
 
Posts: 375 | Registered: November 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie
Picture of Balzé Halzé
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quote:
Originally posted by Harleysbluff:
Flew to Denver once and this cat shit all over first class ...

MDS


Big Grin

I was waiting for that.


~Alan

Acta Non Verba
NRA Life Member (Patron)
God, Family, Guns, Country

Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan

"Once there was only dark. If you ask me, light is winning." ~Rust Cohle
 
Posts: 30299 | Location: Elv. 7,000 feet, Utah | Registered: October 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
This Space for Rent
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^^^^ Ha! Guess I deserved that. Yeah, I know we made it a bad flight for the people around me and I'm pretty sure United received a complaint of two. Okay, maybe 3. But Baker Mayfield was on the plane!!!!

If I was the guy next to me I'm sure I would have not been happy too. But the flight ended and we all moved on.
.
.
.
.

Guess I should have talked about my flight into Newark over the summer dodging storm cells. You know it was a pretty bumpy ride in when the Flight Attendant gets on the horn and says: 'Its okay folks. These planes are designed to take turbulence like this'.....




We will never know world peace, until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye

Liberals are like pussycats and Twitter is Trump's laser pointer to keep them busy while he takes care of business - Rey HRH.
 
Posts: 5746 | Location: Colorado | Registered: April 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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