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My ex-wife was a liar (and cheater) during our marriage and for some reason I thought there would be no more reasons to lie after getting divorced. Of course it didn't change. She continued to lie about things for no logical reason (women & logic, yeah I know).

The best part is I talked to a former relative a few months ago - he's the pending ex-husband of her cousin and I asked if she ever said at family gatherings why we got divorced. She lied about that to.

She gained at least 20 or 30 pounds while I lost 20. That was a shock since she always had an easier time staying thinner.
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Man, you guys are really selling the reasons for getting married.
I'm 48 and never married. Came close three times. Not wanting kids was a dealbreaker for one. Saw her recently. She popped out 5 soulless gingers and gained at least 70 pounds. Another has been married three times since we broke up. Don't know where #3 is and don't care. I'm just not marriage material. Can't bet half or more of my shit that this chick will love me forever. And trust me, I'm not saying I'm a prize. I have trouble living with me sometimes.
 
Posts: 4204 | Location: Middletown, PA | Registered: January 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
For real?
Picture of Chowser
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quote:
Originally posted by Rotndad:

I was VERY fortunate with my Ex-wife when we divorced. We did TRULY keep it ammicable. We are both pretty fair people. The judge "Are you two sure you want to divorce? I have rarely ssen two parties that are divorcing so nice to each other." Like I said I got lucky.


Similar story. After 17 years and two kids we called it. Judge was amazed we weren't fighting. No alimony. She was only getting $28/mo in child support based on the agency calculations. I offered $600/mo and she said she only needed $400/mo. It was weird at the beginning but we settled into a routine where we put the kids first. In fact, we just got back to town from visiting my oldest son (not her biological kid) and his family (really just wanted to visit the granddaughter). I drove and paid for gas and meals and she paid for the hotels.

My son and his family want to visit us for Christmas so their daughter can see snow and my exwife immediately offered them her converted attic as a place to stay for the week.

Sometimes you just have to let go of the hate and move on with living life. The only issue that crops up from time to time is my girlfriend is about two years older than my oldest. I try to keep her away from it all but it will eventually have to be dealt with.



Not minority enough!
 
Posts: 4994 | Location: South of Cleveland, OH | Registered: August 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Chowser:
quote:
Originally posted by Rotndad:

I was VERY fortunate with my Ex-wife when we divorced. We did TRULY keep it ammicable. We are both pretty fair people. The judge "Are you two sure you want to divorce? I have rarely ssen two parties that are divorcing so nice to each other." Like I said I got lucky.


Similar story. After 17 years and two kids we called it. Judge was amazed we weren't fighting. No alimony. She was only getting $28/mo in child support based on the agency calculations. I offered $600/mo and she said she only needed $400/mo. It was weird at the beginning but we settled into a routine where we put the kids first. In fact, we just got back to town from visiting my oldest son (not her biological kid) and his family (really just wanted to visit the granddaughter). I drove and paid for gas and meals and she paid for the hotels.

My son and his family want to visit us for Christmas so their daughter can see snow and my exwife immediately offered them her converted attic as a place to stay for the week.

Sometimes you just have to let go of the hate and move on with living life. The only issue that crops up from time to time is my girlfriend is about two years older than my oldest. I try to keep her away from it all but it will eventually have to be dealt with.


Consider yourself VERY lucky. My sister is going through a divorce now, and her ex husbands attorney is filing all of this BS and her ex husband is too stupid to even know what he is signing.
 
Posts: 14294 | Registered: June 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My ex was concerned about running up big legal bills, and I was concerned about being taken to the cleaners.

So we agreed to use an attorney that is a certified family law mediator, and who worked at a firm where we know one of the founding partners.

The mediator took no sides, and walked us through writing a comprehensive divorce agreement. She was great, made sure we understood everything, and brought up things we wouldn't have thought of. The first thing she said was something like this:

"All of your possessions, except real estate, cars (and other vehicles) jewels and things with real appraised value, are basically worthless - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. They are worth what you could get at a garage sale, so don't spend time arguing about a $50 item when you're paying $200 an hour."

So my ex and I simply agreed, we each get our daily drivers, she kept the Mazda Miata that was "hers" before our son was born (we had kept it after getting her a family vehicle), and her jewelry - I kept my guns, guitars, home theater stuff. We also agreed to split equity in our house and investments based on our relative incomes over the entire marriage, with a couple of years "pro-rated" for her when she stayed home with our son for a couple years.

Child support (state guideline calculation) with shared custody and about 45%/55% time split came to $100 a week from me.

Total time was 6 hours with the lawyer at $200/hour and some paralegal time for documents. The signed agreement was approved by the judge ~60 days after I filed the divorce petition (minimum time allowed by state law).

I can't complain. No court appearances, no fighting. I got the house (after paying her for her share of the equity), and I think the split of assets was very fair. If she'd lawyered up and tried to get everything she could, it would have been a lot worse and taken a lot longer.

And I am glad we didn't get into actual market valuation of things - my guns and guitars/amps retain a lot more value than electronics/computers/furniture/etc. But considering she got a $25K convertible (original cost) my stuff probably evened out on original cost as well.
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A fellow I had worked with (Sgt) signed up for as much OT as he could handle with thoughts of paying off his house mortgage on the road to early retirement. He had 25 years in working for PA department of Corrections. Told me he wanted to travel with his wife. Kids were on their own, he said.

So, one day he came home after working a double shift to find an empty house. No wife and no furniture. She also filed for divorce, claiming "he was never around".

In the divorce papers she wanted half the house equity plus a portion of his state pension.

I decided there and then, marriage was not for me. Too damn many crazy women around.


*******
"The President is always abused. If he isn't, he isn't doing anything" - Harry S Truman.
 
Posts: 4873 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Quit staring at my wife's Butt
Picture of XLT
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quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:
Every time I see a broom, I also expect to see my exwife nearby.

.


Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
 
Posts: 4215 | Registered: February 09, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My ex-wife and my current wife get along together. We have actually gone on vacation together. Two weeks in a travel trailer and I lived to tell about it.

We just bought a new house and are moving back to NE Ohio. My ex-wife and my current wife's ex-husband were there helping us unpack.

I know it sounds crazy but somehow it works.




Sgt. USMC 1970 - 1973
 
Posts: 317 | Location: Stilwell, Kansas | Registered: May 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by andronicus:
Man, you guys are really selling the reasons for getting married. I'm 48 and never married.


It's kind of uncharted territory, but imagine you are young and banging like rabbits. And it's all good. 40 years later, you're still together, you want to be banging like a rabbit but she has NO interest in doing so, nor does she want you surfing porn, or getting a girlfriend. If you keep your vows and stay together, plan on some lonely times. She's still a good person, but not interested in sex. This I know.

Not to add to the reasons not to get married. If you split up, it sucks. Sometimes staying together sucks as well.
 
Posts: 949 | Registered: August 01, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
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I see my ex-wife about once every 6 or 7 years. We are friendly.

Luckily we split up after just under five years of marriage and with no kids, so there were almost no complications.

Remember that there are plenty of crazy ex-husbands, too. I have a case now where my client's ex-husband is going to be a long-term pain in the ass, or worse.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 43988 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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quote:
Originally posted by Lefty Sig:
My ex was concerned about running up big legal bills, and I was concerned about being taken to the cleaners.

So we agreed to use an attorney that is a certified family law mediator, and who worked at a firm where we know one of the founding partners.

The mediator took no sides, and walked us through writing a comprehensive divorce agreement. She was great, made sure we understood everything, and brought up things we wouldn't have thought of. The first thing she said was something like this:

"All of your possessions, except real estate, cars (and other vehicles) jewels and things with real appraised value, are basically worthless - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. They are worth what you could get at a garage sale, so don't spend time arguing about a $50 item when you're paying $200 an hour."

So my ex and I simply agreed, we each get our daily drivers, she kept the Mazda Miata that was "hers" before our son was born (we had kept it after getting her a family vehicle), and her jewelry - I kept my guns, guitars, home theater stuff. We also agreed to split equity in our house and investments based on our relative incomes over the entire marriage, with a couple of years "pro-rated" for her when she stayed home with our son for a couple years.

Child support (state guideline calculation) with shared custody and about 45%/55% time split came to $100 a week from me.

Total time was 6 hours with the lawyer at $200/hour and some paralegal time for documents. The signed agreement was approved by the judge ~60 days after I filed the divorce petition (minimum time allowed by state law).

I can't complain. No court appearances, no fighting. I got the house (after paying her for her share of the equity), and I think the split of assets was very fair. If she'd lawyered up and tried to get everything she could, it would have been a lot worse and taken a lot longer.

And I am glad we didn't get into actual market valuation of things - my guns and guitars/amps retain a lot more value than electronics/computers/furniture/etc. But considering she got a $25K convertible (original cost) my stuff probably evened out on original cost as well.


It ought to be that easy most of the time - even with lawyers representing both sides. Believe me in a simple estate like yours, the lawyers could work it out between them in about 30 minutes, as we've seen it done dozens or a hundred times and know how it is going to turn out.

But thank god, many people want to fight!




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 43988 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'll never forget two cases I handled.

In one, the parties argued for hours regarding an "antique Mayan candle holder". It all ended when I explained to the Judge that the Mayans did not know candles, that candles were a European invention.

The other one was simpler. They got married at 10:00 AM and by 2:00 PM she was in my office. For the Judge and me that was a record. No, I didn't go into details about what had happened. None of my business.


***************************
Knowing more by accident than on purpose.
 
Posts: 13536 | Location: Tampa, Florida | Registered: December 12, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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quote:
Originally posted by jehzsa:
I'll never forget two cases I handled.

In one, the parties argued for hours regarding an "antique Mayan candle holder". It all ended when I explained to the Judge that the Mayans did not know candles, that candles were a European invention.

The other one was simpler. They got married at 10:00 AM and by 2:00 PM she was in my office. For the Judge and me that was a record. No, I didn't go into details about what had happened. None of my business.


I argued with another lawyer for 30 minutes over a matching set of Lazy Boy chairs and some old Igloo coolers. My client wanted one chair, and his wife thought they were a set. The cost of the argument could have damn near bought a new chair.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 43988 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:
A fellow I had worked with (Sgt) signed up for as much OT as he could handle with thoughts of paying off his house mortgage on the road to early retirement. He had 25 years in working for PA department of Corrections. Told me he wanted to travel with his wife. Kids were on their own, he said.

So, one day he came home after working a double shift to find an empty house. No wife and no furniture. She also filed for divorce, claiming "he was never around".

In the divorce papers she wanted half the house equity plus a portion of his state pension.

I decided there and then, marriage was not for me. Too damn many crazy women around.


#1 reason women file for divorce - he can't hold a job and is broke.
#2 reason women file for divorce - he's too busy at work and not home enough.

The ones that file for reason number two usually have no problem spending the money he is so busy earning, or wanting a cut of it after the divorce. The concept that earning is proportional to effort is lost on women who settle for lower paying jobs making a lot less than their husbands. The wake up call when they are on their own is that they are in worse finical shape because they just lost most the majority of "their" income, especially in states with no alimony.

Thankfully I don't have to pay alimony, doesn't exist in Indiana - only child support. And my ex is always whining about money being tight. That's funny, I seem to more money to do what I want with now, even after paying the child support...
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
quote:
Originally posted by Lefty Sig:
My ex was concerned about running up big legal bills, and I was concerned about being taken to the cleaners.

So we agreed to use an attorney that is a certified family law mediator, and who worked at a firm where we know one of the founding partners.

The mediator took no sides, and walked us through writing a comprehensive divorce agreement. She was great, made sure we understood everything, and brought up things we wouldn't have thought of. The first thing she said was something like this:

"All of your possessions, except real estate, cars (and other vehicles) jewels and things with real appraised value, are basically worthless - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. They are worth what you could get at a garage sale, so don't spend time arguing about a $50 item when you're paying $200 an hour."

So my ex and I simply agreed, we each get our daily drivers, she kept the Mazda Miata that was "hers" before our son was born (we had kept it after getting her a family vehicle), and her jewelry - I kept my guns, guitars, home theater stuff. We also agreed to split equity in our house and investments based on our relative incomes over the entire marriage, with a couple of years "pro-rated" for her when she stayed home with our son for a couple years.

Child support (state guideline calculation) with shared custody and about 45%/55% time split came to $100 a week from me.

Total time was 6 hours with the lawyer at $200/hour and some paralegal time for documents. The signed agreement was approved by the judge ~60 days after I filed the divorce petition (minimum time allowed by state law).

I can't complain. No court appearances, no fighting. I got the house (after paying her for her share of the equity), and I think the split of assets was very fair. If she'd lawyered up and tried to get everything she could, it would have been a lot worse and taken a lot longer.

And I am glad we didn't get into actual market valuation of things - my guns and guitars/amps retain a lot more value than electronics/computers/furniture/etc. But considering she got a $25K convertible (original cost) my stuff probably evened out on original cost as well.


It ought to be that easy most of the time - even with lawyers representing both sides. Believe me in a simple estate like yours, the lawyers could work it out between them in about 30 minutes, as we've seen it done dozens or a hundred times and know how it is going to turn out.

But thank god, many people want to fight!


I don't think any lawyer on her side would have agreed to the 64/36 asset split (in my favor) based on our relative incomes for the 20 year marriage, and me getting the house.
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Lefty Sig:
quote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
quote:
Originally posted by Lefty Sig:
My ex was concerned about running up big legal bills, and I was concerned about being taken to the cleaners.

So we agreed to use an attorney that is a certified family law mediator, and who worked at a firm where we know one of the founding partners.

The mediator took no sides, and walked us through writing a comprehensive divorce agreement. She was great, made sure we understood everything, and brought up things we wouldn't have thought of. The first thing she said was something like this:

"All of your possessions, except real estate, cars (and other vehicles) jewels and things with real appraised value, are basically worthless - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. They are worth what you could get at a garage sale, so don't spend time arguing about a $50 item when you're paying $200 an hour."

So my ex and I simply agreed, we each get our daily drivers, she kept the Mazda Miata that was "hers" before our son was born (we had kept it after getting her a family vehicle), and her jewelry - I kept my guns, guitars, home theater stuff. We also agreed to split equity in our house and investments based on our relative incomes over the entire marriage, with a couple of years "pro-rated" for her when she stayed home with our son for a couple years.

Child support (state guideline calculation) with shared custody and about 45%/55% time split came to $100 a week from me.

Total time was 6 hours with the lawyer at $200/hour and some paralegal time for documents. The signed agreement was approved by the judge ~60 days after I filed the divorce petition (minimum time allowed by state law).

I can't complain. No court appearances, no fighting. I got the house (after paying her for her share of the equity), and I think the split of assets was very fair. If she'd lawyered up and tried to get everything she could, it would have been a lot worse and taken a lot longer.

And I am glad we didn't get into actual market valuation of things - my guns and guitars/amps retain a lot more value than electronics/computers/furniture/etc. But considering she got a $25K convertible (original cost) my stuff probably evened out on original cost as well.


It ought to be that easy most of the time - even with lawyers representing both sides. Believe me in a simple estate like yours, the lawyers could work it out between them in about 30 minutes, as we've seen it done dozens or a hundred times and know how it is going to turn out.

But thank god, many people want to fight!


I don't think any lawyer on her side would have agreed to the 64/36 asset split (in my favor) based on our relative incomes for the 20 year marriage, and me getting the house.


Good for you, then. That is unusually good for you.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 43988 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Someone wise once said, "Women marry men thinking they will change and they don't. Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do." That pretty much sums up my situation. I was married twenty years and thought I was the most happily married man in the world, until I came home one night and someone told me I wasn't. Totally blindsided. I've now been married twenty five years to my second wife and she is God's greatest gift to me.
 
Posts: 798 | Registered: July 20, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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.[/QUOTE]

#1 reason women file for divorce - he can't hold a job and is broke.
#2 reason women file for divorce - he's too busy at work and not home enough.
[/QUOTE]

Yes, even in marriages short of divorce this can be a common refrain.
 
Posts: 2948 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rock Paper
Scissors
Lizard Spock
Picture of James in Denver
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by chongosuerte:
My wife said that my ex and I shouldn't be allowed to talk to each other. She should do all the talking for me. I think my wife is pretty darn smart Wink

Hey Chongosuerte,

Sorry for the retro-post, missed this when you first posted.

My current GF and her ex (the crazy side) MUST talk thru a court-ordered website:
Talking Parents . com

All communication is tracked by the courts and admissible (not "hear say" like emails are or phone calls).

All communications have a sent, read, respond date associated with them.

Service is free/close-to-free (or was) but the phone app (iOS at least, but maybe Google/Android too) has a monthly fee.

Can get txt notifications too.

James in Denver

PS her ex would be the same in regards to "travel expenses" and time. You'd think he'd be better, since he's a truck driver... but then again, he's flipped a semi at least 3 times. Not the brightest bulb in the house...


----------------------------
Robert Heinlein – Starship Troopers – Chapter 2
“Violence, naked force has settled more issues in history than has any other factor. And the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst.
Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives … and freedoms.”
 
Posts: 4162 | Location: Colorado | Registered: August 24, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Another problem between couples I ran into is.....her Mother.

Example: nice healthy gal with a good paying job in her mid 30's (at the time) who I really got along with. We did the usual "couples thing" together. No arguments, no squabbling over my motorcycle as she liked to ride.

And the sex was GREAT.

Problem was....she lived next door to her man hating Mother.

Over a period of just a few years, her Mother had destroyed this girls first marriage along with her brothers marriage.

I'm sad to say, the relationship lasted only a couple of years.


*******
"The President is always abused. If he isn't, he isn't doing anything" - Harry S Truman.
 
Posts: 4873 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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