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Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Bassamatic:
I'm going to be the only guy here that stands with your wife.

I've also been married 40 years now and my wife was the one who went through all the blood, sweat and tears getting our daughter to adulthood. You expect her to just stop being "mom" when they graduate from high school? Our daughter is now 34 and they text or talk every day. They recently got into a disagreement about some decision she made about our granddaughter and mom objected (it was a bad decision). I apologized to my daughter some time later and she looked at me and said .."I'm a mom now and will be doing the same thing, I'm sure when the time comes. I was proud of her for the understanding.

You say your daughter is a die hard liberal. In these times, how do you just ignore that? Serious question. "Well, we just don't talk politics" might have worked years ago but not any more. The liberal want conservatives gone, period. The wife and I choose to fight back. We are both "persistent" in our stance as well. This is serious stuff.

As far as other family members go, I don't really know all the history but I have family members that are always coming up with crazy ideas and I'm probably the only one in the group that tells them what I honestly think. Not everyone is happy about that but I'm not the kind of guy that just tells people what they want to hear. So I guess I am more like your wife in that regard.

You asked for our thoughts and those are mine.


You don't have to tell people what they want to hear. But often you don't have to tell them at all. Fredward's problem is that his wife thinks she has to.

Go without her.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jhe888,




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 48882 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Fredward:
How do I ignore her liberalism? It's easy. She doesn't speak of it to me. Is a political stance worth losing contact with your child and grand child? There are actually bigger issues than politics. If you lose sight of that, we revert to 1860. People in my house behave by my rules. I expect others to abide by my daughter's rules IN HER HOUSE. Do I expect her mother to grow up and treat her like an adult? Hell yes. Why shouldn't I?


I was with the “go without” group, or have the kids come visit you and pay for them to stay at an Airbnb or something, so they can get up and leave when she starts this up, BUT...you say she doesn’t speak of it to you...so is it just a lack of respect for others? Does she feel they they need educating? Is she all there (I ask this seriously, because I’m watching my mother do the same thing with others, and it’s out of character for her to be so rude and argumentative..I’m seriously looking at dementia as a possibility).
Either way, that is sad to have to even have to consider leaving her behind.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
 
Posts: 4085 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kraquin
posted Hide Post
People lose inhibitions and become more their true selves as they get older. Doubt you'll modify your wife's behavior so you'll have to work around it. Regardless, bringing up religion or politics within a family and especially with in-laws is a minefield. Comes down to compromise and priorities, keeping the peace or losing relationships.
 
Posts: 391 | Registered: December 07, 2016Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted Hide Post
"don't tell me what to do" is what got my first wife an ex. When someone is not polite enough to "play nice" when out with others, they should expect to get their teeth kicked in every so often.
I do not bring up religion with my minister FIL but I do tone down my language out of respect for his house and company. We are both wise enough to avoid the pitfalls of open conversation.


I ams what i ams and thats all that i ams
 
Posts: 52 | Registered: August 20, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Bassamatic:
quote:
Originally posted by DaBigBR:

Do you really believe that every liberal person truly want all of the conservatives "gone." That's short-sighted. For a lot of people - hopefully most of them - there are things bigger than politics. I work in a liberal area and my mother is fairly liberal. I, like Fredward, "just ignore it." We don't agree and we aren't changing each other's minds but we're family and we have a lot more in common than we do different. And being family, we care for each other and respect each other's views. Do you expect somebody to either harm their relationship with their own child because they don't agree with their political views?


You think I'm the one short sighted? His daughter admires the ones that believe we are the deplorables...remember? I guess some members of your family do as well.

Hey man, you can ignore all that is going on for the sake of "keeping the peace". I don't really care. It's just not how I choose to live my life...but that's just me.


I do. You're lumping arguably half of the country in together. There are a lot of things that are bigger and more important than political views to a lot of people. Probably to most people.
 
Posts: 3531 | Location: Iowa | Registered: February 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
posted Hide Post
My father does this, among other things. He is no longer welcome in my home, or my sister’s. Had he been any other person, I would have told him to pack his shit and get the fuck out of my house several days into his final visit. Some people just can’t help themselves, they have to tell everyone what they think about everything, some aggressively so.

Going down that path led my old man to a very lonely place. Do what my mother does, go visit on your own and shrug and say “oh well” when your wife complains that nobody wants to see her.
 
Posts: 11634 | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Go ahead punk, make my day
posted Hide Post
Life used to be about more than politics and religious beliefs 24/7/365.

Apparently not anymore, for some people. I find that many people like this are so unhappy with their lives that they must try to shove that shit down everyone's throat to mask their personal misery. Because misery loves company.

I have no problem not interacting with those people anymore.
 
Posts: 45593 | Registered: July 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Res ipsa loquitur
Picture of BB61
posted Hide Post
I have a brother that has done everything he can to destroy our family. He is not welcome in my home or my other brother’s home. Period. Unfortunately, it has caused serious problems with our parents as well. If I were you, I would tell your wife that enough is enough. You are going to visit your daughter by yourself because of her bad behavior. She won’t like it and you will have some fallout. But, if she makes it into a big deal, you will need to face reality that your relationship is not as stable as you thought. IOW, you need to decide whether you want to face a possible Rubicon in your relationship with your wife.


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Posts: 11119 | Registered: October 13, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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five of the nicest neighbors in the whole retirement community , had to stay away from each other,

Keep in mind that all were over the age of 67.

they sat at five different card tables, took turns playing shuffle board, went to the swim pool at different times, it seemed silly to me .

but they learned over three summers that life was just easier when they avoided each other.

I never asked any of them what the problems were.





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
 
Posts: 50384 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'm Fine
Picture of SBrooks
posted Hide Post
My mom acted very hurtful and critical and us kids pretty much blame our dad for letting her get away with it for so long. He just ignored her instead of suggesting that she was pushing away those she supposedly loved.

No one else is in the position to correct her behavior. You are the only one.

If you really feel like she needs to change or at least suck it up and keep quiet occasionally - it's up to you to get her to do it. You (and maybe God) are the only person with any chance of making an impact. If she refuses to listen at all, then I agree with whoever it was that posted above "there's a problem with your relationship."


------------------
SBrooks
 
Posts: 3463 | Location: East Tennessee | Registered: August 21, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of ruger357
posted Hide Post
Easy. Leave her behind.


-----------------------------------------

Roll Tide!

Glock Certified Armorer
NRA Certified Firearms Instructor
 
Posts: 7076 | Location: Hoover, AL | Registered: November 06, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Time for a new wife.
 
Posts: 1073 | Registered: October 30, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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