|Little ray |
You don't have to tell people what they want to hear. But often you don't have to tell them at all. Fredward's problem is that his wife thinks she has to.
Go without her.This message has been edited. Last edited by: jhe888,
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
|Eye on the|
I was with the “go without” group, or have the kids come visit you and pay for them to stay at an Airbnb or something, so they can get up and leave when she starts this up, BUT...you say she doesn’t speak of it to you...so is it just a lack of respect for others? Does she feel they they need educating? Is she all there (I ask this seriously, because I’m watching my mother do the same thing with others, and it’s out of character for her to be so rude and argumentative..I’m seriously looking at dementia as a possibility).
Either way, that is sad to have to even have to consider leaving her behind.
"Trust, but verify."
People lose inhibitions and become more their true selves as they get older. Doubt you'll modify your wife's behavior so you'll have to work around it. Regardless, bringing up religion or politics within a family and especially with in-laws is a minefield. Comes down to compromise and priorities, keeping the peace or losing relationships.
"don't tell me what to do" is what got my first wife an ex. When someone is not polite enough to "play nice" when out with others, they should expect to get their teeth kicked in every so often.
I do not bring up religion with my minister FIL but I do tone down my language out of respect for his house and company. We are both wise enough to avoid the pitfalls of open conversation.
I ams what i ams and thats all that i ams
I do. You're lumping arguably half of the country in together. There are a lot of things that are bigger and more important than political views to a lot of people. Probably to most people.
|Frangas non Flectes|
My father does this, among other things. He is no longer welcome in my home, or my sister’s. Had he been any other person, I would have told him to pack his shit and get the fuck out of my house several days into his final visit. Some people just can’t help themselves, they have to tell everyone what they think about everything, some aggressively so.
Going down that path led my old man to a very lonely place. Do what my mother does, go visit on your own and shrug and say “oh well” when your wife complains that nobody wants to see her.
|Go ahead punk, make my day|
Life used to be about more than politics and religious beliefs 24/7/365.
Apparently not anymore, for some people. I find that many people like this are so unhappy with their lives that they must try to shove that shit down everyone's throat to mask their personal misery. Because misery loves company.
I have no problem not interacting with those people anymore.
|Res ipsa loquitur|
I have a brother that has done everything he can to destroy our family. He is not welcome in my home or my other brother’s home. Period. Unfortunately, it has caused serious problems with our parents as well. If I were you, I would tell your wife that enough is enough. You are going to visit your daughter by yourself because of her bad behavior. She won’t like it and you will have some fallout. But, if she makes it into a big deal, you will need to face reality that your relationship is not as stable as you thought. IOW, you need to decide whether you want to face a possible Rubicon in your relationship with your wife.
five of the nicest neighbors in the whole retirement community , had to stay away from each other,
Keep in mind that all were over the age of 67.
they sat at five different card tables, took turns playing shuffle board, went to the swim pool at different times, it seemed silly to me .
but they learned over three summers that life was just easier when they avoided each other.
I never asked any of them what the problems were.
Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.
Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
My mom acted very hurtful and critical and us kids pretty much blame our dad for letting her get away with it for so long. He just ignored her instead of suggesting that she was pushing away those she supposedly loved.
No one else is in the position to correct her behavior. You are the only one.
If you really feel like she needs to change or at least suck it up and keep quiet occasionally - it's up to you to get her to do it. You (and maybe God) are the only person with any chance of making an impact. If she refuses to listen at all, then I agree with whoever it was that posted above "there's a problem with your relationship."
Easy. Leave her behind.
Glock Certified Armorer
NRA Certified Firearms Instructor
Time for a new wife.
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