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Member
Picture of Beancooker
posted
So I have been culling the herd lately and have been doing a lot of interviews and hiring.

But let’s back up a step. A resume. It’s pretty simple. It doesn’t take a great one to be a repacking assistant. I mean this is an entry level job posted on Indeed. I’m not looking for a special talent or degree, pretty much, can you stand in one place and bag spices quickly without waste. Oh, you cannot be a douche waffle. I want people with an IQ higher than my shoe. See, low expectations.

One resume I had the joy of reading said “Make ur bizznez gr8 with me”.

Another one had a return email address of bangingyourmom@...

A cover letter I can only assume was typed in a phone... I (heart emoji) ur store n da natral products you sell. I want 2 werk 4 u cuz of ur good products.

Aside of these three that I noted so I could share with you all, the overall terrible grammar is astounding. I’m no English major, but Christ almighty, most phones will help you with spelling and grammar. Punctuation is a given on a phone nowadays.

It took a lot of effort on my part to actually write what they wrote, because the all seeing iPad doesn’t like my shit spelling or grammar. I probably have to wipe my custom keyboard now, as “werk” has probably been stored as a word.

Anyways, the job pool sucks. Unemployment is so low that I can only get entry level employees to fill entry level positions. It wasn’t that long ago I had college degrees applying for entry level positions.

Okay, I’m done whining. Tomorrow is six interviewees that have made it through the phone screen and received an in person interview. Two positions to fill. God be with me that out of 50+ applicants, 20+ phone screens, and 6 interviews, that at least 2 are worthy of hiring.




quote:
Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
Before I figured you were just confused, but now I see that you're about as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense. Good lord.

The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Striker in waiting
Picture of BurtonRW
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Five years ago I took over my current position (created it for my employer, really), and had to hire my paralegal.

Of over 130 applications, about 40 made it through the HR screening and landed on my desk. Of those, I only found three that were worth interviewing (two, really, but HR made me interview at least three), and only ONE was qualified for the job.

I thank God that she accepted the position. She’s fantastic and I couldn’t keep things going without her, but damn, if she hadn’t applied I would probably have had to re-post the job and start head-hunting the old fashioned networking way.

-Rob




I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888

A=A
 
Posts: 15282 | Location: Maryland, AA Co. | Registered: March 16, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
posted Hide Post
Argh I have to post an ad. So not looking forward to it. I hate the interview process. Everyone lies.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
 
Posts: 3866 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Have you tried hiring ex-cons.....through like the local prison..... Most of them are REALLY good at bagging spices without any waste and most are really good workers while they're on probation. Another thought is retirees part time looking for something to do......and some pocket money.
 
Posts: 18644 | Registered: June 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Trying to hire right now is damn near impossible. I work for a company that pays good wages, and excellent benefits even for part time. People get hired and quit in less than a week because they have expectations to perform, those expectations keep getting lower and lower. It's scary, and it's why companies are spending millions of dollars to automate as much as possible.
 
Posts: 952 | Location: DFW Metromess | Registered: May 20, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Page late and a dollar short
posted Hide Post
Nothing really new about this except electronic devices.

In the early 80's I needed a trainee in the parts department that I managed. CETA funds were available and my dealership's owner felt we should hire through the state jobs office.

I got applicants coming smelling like they never took a bath, coming in drunk. One guy put on his application the last job he worked at ended in 1967, this was 1983. When I asked him what he had done between 1967 to the present date he said "Around". One guy came in, clean, sober, seemed pretty good on the surface. I handed him an application, he handed it to his uncle in the waiting area. I asked him why and he replied that he could not read or write. Scratch him off the list.

The icing on the cake was being accused of being prejudiced because I would not hire any of those applicants, this came from the head of the local job service office.


-------------------------------------——————
————————--Ignorance is a powerful tool if applied at the right time, even, usually, surpassing knowledge(E.J.Potter, A.K.A. The Michigan Madman)
 
Posts: 6159 | Location: Livingston County Michigan USA | Registered: August 11, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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The only way this story could be better is if your name is Dumass. "So am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?" Big Grin

My business (small auto repair shop) has had trouble of this kind. One jerkoff who made it past the application spent more time smoking cigarettes - and tossing the butts all over - than working, but the final straw was when it was discovered that he didn't have a driver's license, necessary if one is going to be driving customers' cars. (They really should have checked this before hiring him.)
 
Posts: 23049 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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quote:
I got applicants coming smelling like they never took a bath, coming in drunk.



Collecting unemployment? They can say (somewhat) legitimately that they applied for a job without having to actually get one. One's sights and goals in life have to be pretty low to be satisfied with barely enough to live on.
 
Posts: 23049 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of PowerSurge
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quote:
Originally posted by egregore:
The only way this story could be better is if your name is Dumass. "So am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?" Big Grin

My business (small auto repair shop) has had trouble of this kind. One jerkoff who made it past the application spent more time smoking cigarettes - and tossing the butts all over - than working, but the final straw was when it was discovered that he didn't have a driver's license, necessary if one is going to be driving customers' cars. (They really should have checked this before hiring him.)


How did they let him get past the paperwork stage of being hired with no driver’s license? Wow.


—————————
Indefatigably succinct.
 
Posts: 1884 | Location: Northeast Georgia | Registered: November 18, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Beancooker
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quote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:
Have you tried hiring ex-cons.....through like the local prison..... Most of them are REALLY good at bagging spices without any waste and most are really good workers while they're on probation. Another thought is retirees part time looking for something to do......and some pocket money.


I live in a valley of retirees. Most are very well to do. Plus lifting 50 pounds regularly... the convict thing, no thanks. I get enough through the application process already.




quote:
Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
Before I figured you were just confused, but now I see that you're about as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense. Good lord.

The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Leemur
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My employer says they have almost 40 positions to fill in the production areas. They’re constantly hiring but no one stays. When I walk through these areas most of the people are sitting on their asses doing nothing so I’m not sure why they need more people to do this. The ones that get hired and make it more than a week or two can’t even count. I remarked to a coworker this week that the bad thing about a great economy is that even morons have jobs and the rest of us suffer for it.
 
Posts: 12115 | Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA | Registered: October 16, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Beancooker
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quote:
Originally posted by Leemur:
My employer says they have almost 40 positions to fill in the production areas. They’re constantly hiring but no one stays. When I walk through these areas most of the people are sitting on their asses doing nothing so I’m not sure why they need more people to do this. The ones that get hired and make it more than a week or two can’t even count. I remarked to a coworker this week that the bad thing about a great economy is that even morons have jobs and the rest of us suffer for it.


40 open positions? What percentage is that?
I would say if you have a turnover issue that is that bad, it’s twofold. You may not be offering competitive pay, and it sounds like your production area needs some proper management and holding lazy people accountable. I took over the operations of a DC that had a 128% annual turnover rate. Within a year we were less than 20%. It took a lot of work, communication, and accountability. The ship was righted and the money started flowing in.




quote:
Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
Before I figured you were just confused, but now I see that you're about as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense. Good lord.

The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 1444 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Leemur
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It’s probably less than 5% of the total workforce but they’ve been trying to fill those jobs for over a year. The pay is a little lower than the rest of the area but the work is also not nearly as demanding and the benefits are way better than most. Management absolutely needs to crack down on the lazy ones but they’re afraid to run off anyone that keeps showing up. Roll Eyes
 
Posts: 12115 | Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA | Registered: October 16, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of TRshootem
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A few years back, my paint contracting business was in need of some good help. After hiring two buddies and some gal with some experience...I finished the monster projects mostly alone and never ever taking on work that required more than maybe another painters help short term. Damn cell phones glued to their hand made it difficult to actually 'work'.
 
Posts: 1235 | Location: Montana | Registered: October 20, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Unmanned Writer
Picture of LS1 GTO
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Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,

Now I get earning a gold, silver and bronze metal but, what is the fourth metal?

This was for a technical writer position.







Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.


Help, I'm having premonitions of future flashbacks.

Only in an insane world are the sane considered insane.

Some people listen to the noise of the world,
And some people listen to the quiet.

"All Californians, like all citizens of the United States, have a fundamental Constitutional right to keep and bear common and dangerous arms. The nation’s Founders used arms for self-protection, for the common defense, for hunting food, and as a check against tyranny." Judge Benitez - March 2019
 
Posts: 11118 | Location: It was Lat: 33.xxxx Lon: 44.xxxx now it's CA :( | Registered: March 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
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I read your first two paragraphs. I thought, "Come on. You need to give people some slack especially for a low entry job. You can't expect college level writing.

Then I read your examples.

I'll back out of the thread now. LOL

I especially like the "I emoji heart line."



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 15688 | Location: Bay Area, CA | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,


He probably used a lot of ordinance there, too. (This - instead of the correct ordnance - particularly grates on my nerve.)
 
Posts: 23049 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
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quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Now I get earning a gold, silver and bronze metal but, what is the fourth metal?


Lead? Eek Razz




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 12096 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by egregore:
quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,


He probably used a lot of ordinance there, too. (This - instead of the correct ordnance - particularly grates on my nerve.)


And he was in a Calvary position.
 
Posts: 2526 | Location: Baltimore | Registered: October 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eschew Obfuscation
posted Hide Post
In a similar vein ...

I was an attorney before retiring. One of the last big deals I negotiated for my client involved dealing with an attorney for the other side who was much younger. While her grammar and spelling were normal, her e-mails were filled with emojis and lots of exclamation points that more resembled Facebook posts: "As we discussed on the call, our company carries both primary and umbrella coverages!! Smile Smile"

WTF? You're an attorney representing your client. Try to act like a grownup.


_____________________________________________________________________

NRA Endowment Life Member; ISRA Member
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“The Left want to be our shepherds. But that requires us to be sheep.” ― Thomas Sowell
 
Posts: 4724 | Location: Chicago, IL | Registered: December 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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