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What is it with this recent use of Mr. in front of a first name. You may call me Tom if you know me, Mr. Burton if you do not, or even Tom Burton if you are calling roll. I was never taught that "Mr. Tom" was respectful. Am I too old fashioned?


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Posts: 3018 | Location: Nashville, Tennessee | Registered: December 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Vicariously Tactical
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Sorry, couldn't help it Big Grin

 
Posts: 1706 | Location: Tallahassee | Registered: August 22, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Anush:
What is it with this recent use of Mr. in front of a first name. You may call me Tom if you know me, Mr. Burton if you do not, or even Tom Burton if you are calling roll. I was never taught that "Mr. Tom" was respectful. Am I too old fashioned?


I think it may be a regional thing. I know when I lived out in the boonies of South Carolina, it seemed to be a standard form of address to someone of a generation older than yourself, IF you knew them that well.
 
Posts: 8756 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Honky Lips
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So they don't call you speedoo?




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Posts: 6788 | Location: Live from the high desert and the great American southwest! | Registered: July 24, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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When I was in college I helped out in a class of 7th graders. They called me Mr. berto. I suppose whether it's respectful depends on circumstance. In movies Mr. Tom is usually used by the help referring to the child of their employer. Adults doing it seems like a half measure. Friendly using your first name but formal using Mr. It's weird if that's the case.
 
Posts: 2793 | Location: Peoples Republic of Berkeley | Registered: June 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Anush:
What is it with this recent use of Mr. in front of a first name. You may call me Tom if you know me, Mr. Burton if you do not, or even Tom Burton if you are calling roll. I was never taught that "Mr. Tom" was respectful. Am I too old fashioned?


I see you are in Tennessee. Are you originally from the South? It was around when I was coming up (I'm 51), granted more for women than men, but in last twenty years more widely used with men. As noted above, I do it all the time with older men of my acquaintance, and nobody seems to mind. I used last names of my friend's fathers, but I don't mind Mr. XXXX from my sons' friends, and male family friends and acquaintances are called Mr. [first name] by my sons.


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Posts: 940 | Location: Baton Rouge | Registered: March 16, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Anush:
I was never taught that "Mr. Tom" was respectful. Am I too old fashioned?


I don't know if you're too old fashioned or not, but the practice seems somewhat common around here. Our Scoutmaster and his wife went by "Mr-and-Mrs-Firstnames." When I'm introduced to my friends' kids, they often introduce me as "Mr Firstname." Some of the people at work refer to other as Mr or Ms Firstname.

Disrespectful? Maybe. I think if I requested a friend have his or her kids call me Mr Hoky instead of Mr Vt it would be set straight. The kids at the high school where I volunteer call me Mr Hoky. I'm okay with either, I think. I do think it would be disrespectful -- unusual, at least -- if kids a generation (or two!) behind me called me by my first name without my expressly saying it was okay to do so.



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Posts: 7126 | Location: Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A co-worker whom I trained used to refer to me as “Mr. [first name].” I believe it was her way of showing respect without being too formal which would have seemed odd.




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Posts: 36242 | Location: 10,150 Feet Above Sea Level in Colorado | Registered: April 04, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I get this at work from a few of the true locals who initially wish good morning to 'Mr Steve'.

It doesn't bother me at all, just had never been addressed that way before settling here.




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Posts: 6420 | Location: Georgia | Registered: February 19, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have seen this in the context of teaching smaller children to use a respectful tone of address toward adults.

For example, you have small kids and they play with your neighbor's small kids. Their kids call you Mr. Tim, your kids call him Mr. Bill.

It may or may not be easier for smaller kids to use first names instead of last names in this way, I'm not sure. But in that context I don't find it disrespectful.
 
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Mr firstname is lightyears ahead of dude or buddy in my opinion.
 
Posts: 544 | Location: Vermont | Registered: February 11, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I am beginning to understand, it is that middle ground between Tom & Mr. Burton. As it is only recent (probably because of my age) & is used by adult Hispanics & younger adult clients that I have known some time.


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Posts: 3018 | Location: Nashville, Tennessee | Registered: December 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Mr firstname is lightyears ahead of dude or buddy in my opinion.


+1 & Chief, Son, or Bro'


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Posts: 3018 | Location: Nashville, Tennessee | Registered: December 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You got any nieces or nephews, Anush? 'coz that'd make you Uncle Tom. Wink


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Posts: 76302 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You got any nieces or nephews, Anush? 'coz that'd make you Uncle Tom.


Thanks for the reminder!


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Posts: 3018 | Location: Nashville, Tennessee | Registered: December 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Not to try to lessen your gripe...it seems to be a "new" thing (although I've heard it down South a while back as respectful address of persons).

It's what my kids are taught at school and sometimes at home- dependent upon the relation with the person.

If someone familiar to them, Mr.(etc.) first- name

If some not/ more of a professional relationship it's Mr. first-last, then a re-emphasize on last.

I think it helps them differentiate between stranger or trusted person/ friend- as at their age they can't tell the difference.

Nobody seems to have much issue with it up here, but I had a difficult time adjusting to it for sure. I was brought up that even the neighbors were "Mr. McGrath, Professor Bloomquist, Mrs. Rhodes", et al.




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Posts: 1302 | Location: In your way | Registered: November 19, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I can only recall one person ever addressing me that way and it didn't bother me but I did think it was strange.


It's kids like you, who make this bus late.
 
Posts: 652 | Location: Weirton,WV | Registered: April 16, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Well when wear a name badge that says TOM, what would you expect?




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Posts: 7764 | Location: Phoenix, Arizona | Registered: April 02, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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How about calling you Major Tom?



Wink




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Posts: 34240 | Location: Around | Registered: July 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My first and middle initials are "L.R." My friends all call me "L.R."

When I worked in the real south (Alabama, not Florida), my co-workers had their kids address me as Mr. LR



Psalm 118:24 "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it"
 
Posts: 14442 | Location: Central Florida (near Orlando) | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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