SIGforum
Corporate lingo.

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230601935/m/8540084654

May 11, 2019, 06:14 PM
V-Tail
Corporate lingo.
quote:
Originally posted by FenderBender:
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Get some random syllables and stick them together for your own made-up words, then use them in a meeting.

If anybody looks puzzled just glare at them as if they are idiots.
But, there is a plethora of language which can be deployed in such a perfunctory manner as too confuse and distract them unendingly; why make things up?
If you invent the words you will be the only one who knows what they mean, which will make you the smartest person in the room.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
May 11, 2019, 06:21 PM
ScreamingCockatoo
Verticals.
I have to achieve these verticals now.

Ugh.





He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.
May 11, 2019, 07:25 PM
FenderBender
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by FenderBender:
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Get some random syllables and stick them together for your own made-up words, then use them in a meeting.

If anybody looks puzzled just glare at them as if they are idiots.
But, there is a plethora of language which can be deployed in such a perfunctory manner as too confuse and distract them unendingly; why make things up?
If you invent the words you will be the only one who knows what they mean, which will make you the smartest person in the room.


I still have so much to learn.
May 17, 2019, 01:04 AM
Copefree
I heard a new one yesterday — I was on the first conference call of what’s going to be a recurring meeting — and the meeting host mentioned up front “we’ll be holding this call on a regular cadence, so look for the invite for that to come soon.”

Roll Eyes Confused


_______________
Mind. Over. Matter.
May 17, 2019, 08:26 AM
nhracecraft
quote:
Originally posted by SFCUSARET:
"Dropping" is one the really gets me and it seems to be creeping in everyday conversations now.

Its use is a little confusing: "Our new product will be dropping in two weeks, so get ready for the roll out rush." How can we be dropping our product line but rolling it out also? (yes, I know DROPPING in this context means introducing but its use in this manner is stupid)

Yup, 'Dropping' is a annoyingly stupid term, and VERY Prevalent in the vocabulary of Millennials. One would think it's the opposite of a 'Launch', but it's not! Roll Eyes


____________________________________________________________

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Live Free or Die!
May 17, 2019, 10:02 AM
Lord Vaalic
People who are too stupid and / or worthless to contribute anything meaningful. The corporate BS is useful, it help you ID the fucking morons quickly.

We have these weekly meetings, and nothing gets done. So all of the geniuses get together and decide there needs to be a common form, that's why nothing gets done, we all use different formats at each account. So we will spend the next two week "work shopping" the new form until we have "buy in" from "all parties".

In the meantime... the nothing rolls on.




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
May 17, 2019, 06:31 PM
HOGSTR
I'd ask for a high level overview, but I don't want to drop an anchor...
May 18, 2019, 09:31 AM
k5blazer
Need to ensure that everyone is on the same narrative in order to bend the success curve.
May 18, 2019, 01:32 PM
Lord Vaalic
We must embrace the new culture of mindfulness, align with our core principles and values, and ensure a holistic approach to customer centric infrastructure and outward function.

That is actually a real one...




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
May 18, 2019, 02:12 PM
PKFan
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
We must embrace the new culture of mindfulness, align with our core principles and values, and ensure a holistic approach to customer centric infrastructure and outward function.


From the customer lens that's spot on. Wink
May 19, 2019, 06:23 AM
MNSIG
Here's an actual quote from the Minneapolis paper regarding this week's purchase of Cray by HP:


"The company said it 'expects to deliver significant cost synergies through efficiencies,' but it was not specific about how it will lower expenses."

Not only is it dripping with corporate BS lingo, it is a pleasant euphemism for "Many employees at Cray are screwed"