SIGforum
Corporate lingo.

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230601935/m/8540084654

May 08, 2019, 08:51 AM
RogB
Corporate lingo.
Stay tuned for the tick tock on how it goes down. If he gets too far over his skis the low hanging fruit will be too granular to see


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I wouldn't let anyone do to me what I've done to myself
May 08, 2019, 08:57 AM
PHPaul
quote:
Originally posted by RogB:
Stay tuned for the tick tock on how it goes down. If he gets too far over his skis the low hanging fruit will be too granular to see


That would be one of those situations where I would get the stink eye for laughing out loud during a "serious" meeting.

Wouldn't be the first time either.

My last contact with "corporate speak" was when I worked at the cannery. We were owned by Bumblebee Foods out of California and when they showed up for a project meeting, the bullshit got deep quick.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
May 08, 2019, 09:09 AM
1967Goat
Let's see if we can solution that.
May 08, 2019, 09:18 AM
V-Tail
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by RogB:
Stay tuned for the tick tock on how it goes down. If he gets too far over his skis the low hanging fruit will be too granular to see
That would be one of those situations where I would get the stink eye for laughing out loud during a "serious" meeting.

Wouldn't be the first time either.

My last contact with "corporate speak" was when I worked at the cannery. We were owned by Bumblebee Foods out of California and when they showed up for a project meeting, the bullshit got deep quick.
My last contract in the corporate world did not get renewed. I think maybe it had something to do with my tendency to mock the bullshit that was spread so thickly during meetings in the conference room.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
May 08, 2019, 10:02 AM
FN in MT
OP...Want to REALLY flip out? Attend a Military briefing. Nothing but acronyms and overused, ridiculous phrases.
May 08, 2019, 10:28 AM
Leemur
The one that got me at my last job was “opportunities.” Roll Eyes
May 08, 2019, 10:40 AM
RogueJSK
I'm on my HOA board. (Not really by choice; long story...)

There's a guy on there who's been drinking the corporate Kool-Aid for several decades. He's fairly high up in a larger corporation. Listening to him talk during our meetings is a chore. He still thinks he's in the conference room at work.
May 08, 2019, 10:51 AM
PASig
"Socialize"

This seems to be a new one creeping in where I work.

"Make sure we socialize this new action plan to all pertinent stakeholders."


May 08, 2019, 11:28 AM
Lord Vaalic
We need to be change agile as we navigate the new company structure roll out.




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
May 08, 2019, 11:57 AM
maxdog
Cabinetry, price point, functionality, rain event, family unit. Some of these were used in a tv series featuring home remodeling.

If my house has cabinetry instead of cabinets, does that mean I have tiletry on the bathroom floor?

Rain event? It doesn’t rain events where I live. It rains water. Merchandise has prices.

Keep a tablet and pencil handy during meetings at work. Deduct IQ points from speakers everytime they use a bullshit word. See who wins the IQ race to the bottom.
May 08, 2019, 05:28 PM
vthoky
A customer on a conference call today asked us for a "deep dive failure mode."

I hope I didn't get caught snickering....




God bless America.
May 08, 2019, 05:47 PM
frayedends
You guys are awesome. I’ve heard most of these. But a few are new. I’m gonna use them and get a promotion Big Grin




These go to eleven.
May 08, 2019, 09:50 PM
SFCUSARET
"Dropping" is one the really gets me and it seems to be creeping in everyday conversations now.

Its use is a little confusing: "Our new product will be dropping in two weeks, so get ready for the roll out rush." How can we be dropping our product line but rolling it out also? (yes, I know DROPPING in this context means introducing but its use in this manner is stupid)


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"Para ser libre, un hombre debe tener tres cosas, la tierra, una educacion y un fusil. Siempre un fusil !" (Emiliano Zapata)
May 08, 2019, 10:19 PM
PKFan
How about "net new", as in some functionality that didn't exist before? I mean, wouldn't "new" work all by itself?
May 08, 2019, 10:48 PM
dynorat
Is that on the dashboard? Let's do some teambuilding on that. The customer is our compass.


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You never know...
May 08, 2019, 11:55 PM
bobtheelf
I've got some ideas, but let me bubble them up and see what comes back.
May 09, 2019, 11:49 AM
LS1 GTO
quote:
Originally posted by PASig:
"Socialize"

This seems to be a new one creeping in where I work.

"Make sure we socialize this new action plan to all pertinent stakeholders."


Haha, I use that all the time. But first I am going to broach the subject with them. Wink






Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.



"If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers

The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own...



May 09, 2019, 12:32 PM
fpuhan
I just got done reading this thread when I received an email that began...

"Actually, I have one more ask..."

Sheesh.




You can't truly call yourself "peaceful" unless you are capable of great violence. If you're not capable of great violence, you're not peaceful, you're harmless.

NRA Benefactor/Patriot Member
May 09, 2019, 03:21 PM
cne32507
Whenever I hear or read "stakeholders" I think of Mormons.
May 09, 2019, 04:31 PM
selogic
mitigate

challenge

leadership