SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  What's Your Deal!    Corporate lingo.
Page 1 2 3 4 
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Corporate lingo. Login/Join 
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
posted
Reading yet another grammar thread made me think of the corporate lingo I hear at work that drives me nuts. "Reach out" is an old one but still annoying. But the most current, worst one for me is "Ask"being used as a noun. "What is the ask?" "Oh, the ask is that we complete the risk assessment tomorrow."

We have a word for that, it is "request". Request is a noun, ask is a verb.

Other lingo that is appropriate but still annoying...

Operations excellence
Risk based approach




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
These idiots in corporate business think it is brilliant to invent new buzzwords. I remember them in college, walking around with a folded copy of the WSJ under their arm and barely able to compete with liberal arts students. Of course their presence was welcome when the Prof graded on the curve.
 
Posts: 17177 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
posted Hide Post
'At the end of the day' I agree with you.
 
Posts: 22858 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Happiness is
Vectored Thrust
Picture of mojojojo
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by frayedends:
But the most current, worst one for me is "Ask"being used as a noun. "What is the ask?" "Oh, the ask is that we complete the risk assessment tomorrow."

We have a word for that, it is "request". Request is a noun, ask is a verb.

Other lingo that is appropriate but still annoying.


Oh hell yes! I heard this crap the other week when we started having daily conference calls. Almost every day someone pipes up after an operational question or issue is discussed with their “what’s the ask?” bullshit. I have to double check that my phone is on mute before I rant about such stupidity. They think they’re sounding knowledgeable and slick but honestly they sound like complete idiots.



Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew.
 
Posts: 6705 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: April 30, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of vthoky
posted Hide Post
Have some fun with it!

Print up some "buzzword bingo" cards and hand them out at your meetings.

See who shouts "bingo" out loud. Big Grin




God bless America.
 
Posts: 13427 | Location: The mountainous part of Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
goodheart
Picture of sjtill
posted Hide Post
I remember a discussion way in prehistoric times when I worked for the gummint and we were meeting with a contractor. We had been tossing around the word "indices" of whatever, and a very bright young lady managed to invent the word "indice" as the singular form.
I didn't correct her either.


_________________________
“ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne
 
Posts: 18017 | Location: One hop from Paradise | Registered: July 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Be prepared for loud noise and recoil
Picture of sigalert
posted Hide Post
Excellent topic! A lot of meat on that bone. Or is it low hanging fruit? Should I table it? Or stick a pin in it?





“Crisis is the rallying cry of the tyrant.” – James Madison

"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others." - Robert Louis Stevenson
 
Posts: 3620 | Location: Middle Tennessee  | Registered: March 23, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Garret Blaine
posted Hide Post
Before we can come up with a proper mitigation we are going to have to circle back and ensure HR, Safety, and AP are looped in.


-----------------------------------
 
Posts: 335 | Location: Buffalo, WY | Registered: June 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by vthoky:
Have some fun with it!

Print up some "buzzword bingo" cards and hand them out at your meetings.

See who shouts "bingo" out loud. Big Grin


We did this at a board meeting where the EVP of marketing of Burger King was speaking. The CFO won.



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 12748 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of vthoky
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Garret Blaine:
we are going to have to circle back and ensure HR, Safety, and AP are looped in.


Sounds like somebody's about to get hung!

(Hanged? Confused )




God bless America.
 
Posts: 13427 | Location: The mountainous part of Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
So what’s the net net?
 
Posts: 17121 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: October 15, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Each post crafted from
rich Corinthian leather
Picture of TheFrontRange
posted Hide Post
Heard at about the mid-point of a lengthy meeting I was attending, as announced by the host: “Okay, let’s take five minutes for a bio-break.”

Bio-break? You mean, hit the john if we need to?

Ah, wait - “hitting the john” doesn’t present the right optics, does it? Never mind. Wink



"The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli." - George Costanza
 
Posts: 6687 | Registered: September 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted Hide Post
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10719 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a corn flake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Mr. City policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Sitting in an English garden
Waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
From standing in the English rain
I am the egg man (How do you do sir?)
They are the egg men (The man maintains a fortune)
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob
Expert, texpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you (Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, hah hah hah)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina Pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob, goo goo




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
 
Posts: 43810 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! (in Arkansas) | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
sick puppy
posted Hide Post
"touch base" as a noun.

"meet with your associates and have a brief touch base with them about..."

I've never liked the term to begin with, but the sudden over-use of the term as a noun drives me crazy.



____________________________
While you may be able to get away with bottom shelf whiskey, stay the hell away from bottom shelf tequila. - FishOn
 
Posts: 7546 | Location: Alpine, Ut | Registered: February 17, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ugly Bag of
Mostly Water
Picture of ridgerat
posted Hide Post
"Onboarding."

I still refer to it as training.



Endowment Life Member, NRA • Member, Gun Owners of America & Member, Arizona Citizens Defense League
 
Posts: 2828 | Location: Tucson, AZ | Registered: March 25, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I started streaming TV with ROKU last summer.

You no longer switch channels, you "Launch" the new channel.
 
Posts: 306 | Location: PA | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Go ahead punk, make my day
posted Hide Post
"I'll get with you offline"
 
Posts: 45798 | Registered: July 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I use the term reach out numerous times a night.
Such as I need to reach out and speak with this Dept, Doctor, ME office, I am reaching out to see if I get hired as a Walmart Greeter.

I also use touch base quite often.

I have used these two phrases for years.

I have heard get with you offline.
Ahhh the famous new onboarding phrase the government likes to use for every scenario.

Funny, for years we called it Orientation/in processing but now they use the fancy onboarding term.
 
Posts: 1836 | Location: In NC trying to get back to VA | Registered: March 03, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Web Clavin Extraordinaire
Picture of Oat_Action_Man
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by PorterN:
"touch base" as a noun.



That infuriates me. Way too much experience with that word over the last year and a half.

Also: charette.

To the OP, although "ask" as a noun seems like a recent buzzword, it has actually been used in that sense in English for hundreds of years, just uncommonly. Smile


----------------------------

Chuck Norris put the laughter in "manslaughter"

Educating the youth of America, one declension at a time.
 
Posts: 19837 | Location: SE PA | Registered: January 12, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 2 3 4  
 

SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  What's Your Deal!    Corporate lingo.

© SIGforum 2024