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Network Janitor
Picture of mkueffer
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Sorry to hear the news, the gut punches from life are hard to take sometimes. Hang in there, you have great friends here.




A few Sigs and some others
 
Posts: 1949 | Location: Waukesha, WI | Registered: February 04, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Wouldn't wish Alzheimers or dementia on my worst enemy. I had to deal with it with my maternal grandmother. She had good days and bad days. Sometimes she could remember my name and others she couldn't remember who I was, but did remember stuff from 30 or 40 years ago. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong and be patient with your step-dad.

James
 
Posts: 624 | Registered: March 29, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
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Sorry to hear this Ronin.

My dad had Alzheimers. My mother in law that my wife is taking care of has dementia. But whether Alzheimers or dementia, either way it sucks.

But as what I can get from sigmonkey, there are some things you should make sure is covered already. Like your parent's wills, power of attorney, advanced health care directive, and financial accounts are all covered by somebody who cares for them. I've learned that from my experience with my dad.

You have my best wishes.



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 13022 | Location: Bay Area, CA | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Ronin,

I understand the difficulties you are going through and wish you strength and patience as you move forward.



“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” -Theodore Roosevelt
 
Posts: 547 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Experienced Slacker
Picture of apprentice
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Ronin,
Sorry to hear this. My Dad had the same thing happen a few years ago. He's gone now, but what really seemed to help in the beginning was B12 shots.

Might want to have blood work done to check on vitamin deficiency.
 
Posts: 5644 | Location: North Idaho | Registered: May 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Once a Marine,
always a Marine
Picture of Ronin1069
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Guys.

Thank you for the comments in this thread. Life is a bit out of control lately. I'm attacking it head on, but fuck me you can only survive so many ambushes.


___________________________
All it takes...is all you got.
____________________________
For those who have fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
 
Posts: 8591 | Location: Belly of the Beast | Registered: January 02, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nature is full of
magnificent creatures
posted Hide Post
I know from personal experience it is beyond difficult to deal with everything that happens when a family member has that disease.

I will say this, none of those I count as friends who served as Marines has had an easy life path, but every one of them always succeeds. Nothing can keep them down. Not combat, nor anything else.

You know all this already, but what I am trying to say is I have a lot of respect for Marines. I don't know you personally, and we may never meet, but from having read your posts for the past few years I believe this much: you are a class act. Squared away like my Marine friends.

All this is easy for me to say as you're the one dealing with all of this trouble, but I wanted you to know.
 
Posts: 4486 | Registered: March 24, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Once a Marine,
always a Marine
Picture of Ronin1069
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Stepdad is FURIOUS at me for taking the guns out of the house. Wants to blame my mom.

No, I told him. This is on me, my decision. You are a diagnosed dementia patient and are not thinking clearly. Just a week ago he thought he was still working, the hospital was a hotel, and the nurses maids.

He is so angry with me, and I understand. StepDad does not think there is anything wrong with him, and in the course of two week's time he's lost his gun, his right to drive (which is being evaluated) and his access to alcohol. (which is gone for good).

All the things that went toward make an old fashioned guy from a pretty tough neighborhood feel like a man. Taken away, just like that.

We are already seeing changes in his behavior, especially his temper and anger. He used to rarely swear, even with just me around. Now he drops the F-Bomb like an old Marine. Which he is not.

Hard on my mom, whom my sister and I are beginning to suspect may have some mental-health challenges of her own.

Thanks for letting me vent guys...


___________________________
All it takes...is all you got.
____________________________
For those who have fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
 
Posts: 8591 | Location: Belly of the Beast | Registered: January 02, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
Picture of 41
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Sorry you have to go through this. I lost five years of my life taking care of my father.

The problem is the FDA not allowing information to be published on alternatives. As we age, we need to take a blood test every year or every two or three years depending on your age and/or past results.

If you eat a lot of red meat, your homocysteine level will rise and cause damage to your arteries. You have to take B Complex to reduce the homocysteine level which can only be obtained by taking a blood test. The arteries to your brain are a lot smaller and can reduce the nutrients to the brain when they become damaged which results in the brain cells dying.

You can go to the Life Extension Foundation and do a search for Alzheimer's:

http://www.lifeextension.com/S...category=[Magazines]

http://www.lifeextension.com/M...erBrainAging/Page-01



"Donald Trump is the grizzly bear in The Revenant. If you get his attention, he’ll be awake, bite your face off, and sit on you.".. Newt Gingrich.

41
 
Posts: 9123 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Sucks to hear all this man. You're doing all the right things and taking all the right steps.

Good luck with your mom. Maybe what you are seeing is simply stress manifesting itself in an odd way. Everyone deals with that differently.

Also, don't forget to take time for yourself throughout this process, doing whatever it is you do to keep yourself centered. Can make the difference and really help you keep your patience and sanity intact.

Good thoughts headed towards all of you.
 
Posts: 774 | Location: NH | Registered: July 11, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Let's be careful
out there
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not that it makes any real difference, but Alzheimer's is technically known as presenile dementia of the Alzheimer's type. Sounds like your Dad in Law has ordinary Senile Dementia, which generally begins in the 70's. My mom is 96, and has plain old dementia; good long-term memory, very poor short-term memory, which she covers up for by fibbing.
Alzheimer's type is a fatal disease all it's own, with about a 7 year course. Essentially, some proteins form plaques that gradually but continuously short out brain neuron connections. The course of the illness is well-known, but no cure yet. Basic senile dementia will happen to all of us to one degree or another as we age into our 70's and beyond. Sorry you have your hands, and heart, so full .
 
Posts: 6420 | Location: NW OHIO | Registered: May 29, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of spunk639
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Ronin,
Prayers did this three times over aunt, grandmother and grandfather.

It's a time of hard decisions and even harder to watch.

God Bless.

Spunk
 
Posts: 819 | Location: Boston, Mass | Registered: December 02, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back, and
to the left
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quote:
Originally posted by depusm12:
Wouldn't wish Alzheimers or dementia on my worst enemy. I had to deal with it with my maternal grandmother. She had good days and bad days. Sometimes she could remember my name and others she couldn't remember who I was, but did remember stuff from 30 or 40 years ago. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong and be patient with your step-dad.

James

When she got more advanced, I used the 'old knowledge' to keep my mom connected and paying attention to me when we would talk. It started to occur to me that people can 'zone out' if you are confused or don't know what someone is talking about or asking you questions about. You don't have to have dementia to do this in the first place so I'm guessing that gets magnified, especially if you're tired. When I suspected mom was 'disconnected', I might work in a recognizable phrase. Her father used to say "well God dern, hon". Often, I would see her head turn to me suddenly and her eyes light up. Then I would ask "who used to say that?" She would look directly at me, look me in the eye, and with great certainty say, "Daddy".

Ronin, I did the same thing you did when my mom was diagnosed, I went and bought a few books. It was kind of unexpectedly emotional reading those, especially one that was written by a nurse who became caregiver to her own husband. But as Sigmonkey basically said, it helps to know your enemy. You may find that what you read helps you to help others to understand. This becomes critical when making decisions as a group about everything regarding long term care. It just helps immensely to have some idea of what may come.
 
Posts: 4495 | Location: Dallas | Registered: August 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
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quote:
Originally posted by Ronin1069:


We are already seeing changes in his behavior, especially his temper and anger. He used to rarely swear, even with just me around. Now he drops the F-Bomb like an old Marine. Which he is not.



Not to pile on. My non-medical opinion is there are two kinds of Alzheimers, the bad kind brings out the bad hostile behaviors that we normally suppress.

I think you need to warn everyone involved to mentally brace themselves for the duration. What they hear or see from him is not him but the Alzheimers.

Last night at 3am I got woken by my wife who got woken by the alarm. Turns out her mother whom she's been taking care of for the last 10 years went out of the house at 3am. She couldn't say why she went out. Maybe a month ago, the front doorbell was rung by our neighbor across the street. My step mother walked out to her house. She wouldn't come back with me. I had to go get my wife to get her home.

We'll all get old. H



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 13022 | Location: Bay Area, CA | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BrianC
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I've been through that. Hang in there.


________________________

The pool from which I must hire my underlings is shallow and brackish.
 
Posts: 11048 | Location: Here. Now. | Registered: August 17, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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