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Maybe I lack sympathy, empathy or whatever, but a bereavement gift for my boss's boss's boss? Login/Join 
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
posted
I really should feel the Christmas spirit and not be annoyed by this. But...

A coworker in my department texted me and said that "Keith's dad died and we would like to send him something, would you pitch in $15-$20?"

Now it's not a lot of money and he is a good guy. But Keith is 3 levels up from me. He has about 5 direct reports that are Director level, and they each have managers that report to them. We are not manager level.

In addition to that the company actually has a bereavement gift program where a group gets reimbursed for this type of thing. I mentioned this to my coworker and she said she knows but thought it would be nice to send something from our specific group. I could explain to her that is what the program covers, but I don't want to get to deep in this over $20.

Maybe I'm an ass but I think it's sort of a tough precedent to set. How many others will we be asked to pitch in for? I should mention, his father was probably in his 80s/90s and I doubt this was some tragic unexpected death.

Anyhow I'm gonna shut up and pay. But I am annoyed.




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Pyker
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I would not pay.
 
Posts: 2763 | Location: Lake Country, Minnesota | Registered: September 06, 2019Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Sounds similar to my department. Executive Director has several Directors, each with several direct reports which may be manager or specialist level.

In the event someone has a family death, the Executive Director's admin assistant would get a card and we would all sign it. Pretty much the same as a retirement, marriage, or new child.

Actually, death announcements usually go out by email and include a location to send flowers or contributions to charity in the person's name. That is more of a general obituary and anything further would be completely voluntary.
 
Posts: 4690 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
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If the guy can't look you straight in the eye and address you by name (without being reminded of what it is) it isn't worthwhile.




 
Posts: 9112 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No, not like
Bill Clinton
Picture of BigSwede
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A simple no works but I don't have to play politics at my job



 
Posts: 5302 | Location: GA | Registered: September 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I vote for no as well. Relatives get cards. Co-workers and bosses get me saying I'm sorry for their loss. IMHO, there is no such thing as a "bereavement gift." Unless it's a neighbor, when I cook up a dish of something tasty that keeps well in the fridge.
 
Posts: 17121 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: October 15, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not really from Vienna
Picture of arfmel
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“Sorry your dad died. Here’s a gift we extorted from the team.”
 
Posts: 26852 | Location: Jerkwater, Texas | Registered: January 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of lkdr1989
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I know about cards - having signed quite a few, but a bereavement gift?




...let him who has no sword sell his robe and buy one. Luke 22:35-36 NAV

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 NASV
 
Posts: 4330 | Location: Valley, Oregon | Registered: June 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of OttoSig
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I dont contribute to ANY office function. I also never plan one do as to not require requesting money either.

Last time i checked i didnt work for UNICEF or March of Dimes.

Solicitation of any kind at work pisses me off. Then again ive always been a bit of an asshole.





11 years to retirement! Just waiting!
 
Posts: 6256 | Location: Maryland | Registered: August 10, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Void Where Prohibited
Picture of WaterburyBob
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Well I'm an asshole, too. When those cards come around I just check my name on the attached list and send it to the next person on the list.
These people are co-workers; VERY FEW are friends.



"If Gun Control worked, Chicago would look like Mayberry, not Thunderdome" - Cam Edwards
 
Posts: 16488 | Location: Under the Boot of Tyranny in Connectistan | Registered: February 02, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by OttoSig:
Solicitation of any kind at work pisses me off.
Any kind of solicitation at work should be prohibited.


_________________________________________________________________________
“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
 
Posts: 9002 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: November 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
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By all means, pony up you selfish bastard. Are you not a team player? And make sure you buy double from anyone shaking you down for their kid's school fundraiser.

Perhaps such giving (or not) should be considered in everyone's performance review/feedback and weighted for promotion, raise and bonus programs.




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
 
Posts: 43810 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! (in Arkansas) | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Gifts for people dying...I don’t get it. Donations in lieu of flowers, ok.
Sorry, can’t contribute, I’ve already made a donation to the Human Fund on behalf of the deceased.
 
Posts: 199 | Registered: March 08, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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This is like gripes in the military - they go up the chain, not down.

And as a few posts eluded to - what the hell is a bereavement gift?
 
Posts: 4979 | Registered: April 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
chickenshit
Picture of rsbolo
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Never heard of a bereavement gift. Is this really a thing?

Cards, sure. Flowers, yes I have sent flowers to be displayed at the service.

A gift? To the family? Weird.


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Posts: 8000 | Location: East Central FL | Registered: January 05, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Never heard of such a thing. Seems a bunch of ass kissers trying to out do one another.

Flowers sure, Donation to a preferred charity in honor of the deceased OK.

I'd pass and have for other types of requests.


quote:
Originally posted by WaterburyBob:
I just check my name on the attached list and send it to the next person

+1 Those usually just become a mess and you can't tell who most of the people are anyways. Hell you can't even read most of them.


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The butcher with the sharpest knife has the warmest heart.
 
Posts: 13386 | Location: Bottom of Lake Washington | Registered: March 06, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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quote:
[hitting people up for money for] bereavement gift

That strikes me as being in bad taste. Signing a sympathy card is OK. How about this one?

 
Posts: 27836 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I never heard of a bereavement gift before this thread.


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Posts: 5681 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Friend’s dad died. I express my sincere condolences and offer to help if i can. Not once did a “gift” come to mind. And that is for a friend. A coworker thrice removed? Wtf? When did that become a thing?




"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
"A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book
 
Posts: 12683 | Location: In the gilded cage | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
paradox in a box
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Okay so as I read these replies I was about to make a major correction in calling it a "gift". I was assuming by "getting him something", my coworker meant flowers or something like that.

Well I was more correct the first time. They sent him a basket with cookies and stuff. Here's a picture of what they sent. I got a text letting me know how to pay my $16.

I didn't really pay attention to the picture when I got the text about paying. I just said "OK". Figured I don't want to make waves this time of year. Anyhow, now seeing what was sent I think I should tell her that I think such a "gift" is inappropriate for someone grieving.

What say you all, tell her or just let this go?...






These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 12407 | Location: Westminster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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