This Could Only Happen to Me, wrong grave plot

July 06, 2018, 01:48 PM

08 Cayenne

The latest disaster in the saga of my brothers estate. I've posted a couple things about my brothers death, died intestate and insolvent, spending tons of my own money to get everything he screwed up straightened out. Don't mean to sound like an asshole about it but this is getting old.
I bought him a plot, paid to bury him, and recently purchased a head stone for the grave. The guy who made the head stone said that he would call me when they put it on his grave plot. I could inspect it and sign off. Like a dumb ass I paid for the stone in full when I bought it which destroyed any leverage I have. Believe it or not they installed the head stone on the wrong grave. Quite expensive stone as well, has a footer underneath then a 8" thick slab of concrete on the footer so the stone would never shift or fall. The cemetery and monument supplier say its on the right plot but I know, and have pictures of, the correct plot where it should have been installed. They won't budge, I don't even know who I need to call to get it straightened out.
He was cremated so the hole for the grave is small, I'm literally thinking of digging him up to prove I'm right. I wonder if I could get arrested for that?

July 06, 2018, 02:47 PM

Sailor1911

Found this:

Q: If I encounter a problem with an Ohio cemetery, where can I go to complain?
A: The Ohio Cemetery Dispute Resolution Commission has the authority to resolve complaints against registered Ohio cemeteries. The Commission tries to resolve complaints through mediation. If the Commission or the Division of Real Estate believes that a cemetery has violated the law, it will refer the complaint to the prosecutor's office in the county where the cemetery is situated or to the Ohio Attorney General's Office. You may obtain a complaint form from the Department of Commerce's Division of Real Estate and Professional Licensing at http://com.ohio.gov/documents/...eryComplaintForm.pdf.

Here: https://www.ohiobar.org/forpub...awyoucanuse-297.aspx

July 06, 2018, 03:00 PM

Rey HRH

Wow is all I can say. Sorry to hear all that.

I have some bad puns if that would help.

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.

July 06, 2018, 03:04 PM

RHINOWSO

My in laws have no life insurance and likely wont have a dime to their names when they pass. I told the wife she needed to talk to the other siblings about it, as the 3 of them will be responsible for their final expenses and not me.

Anyone who dumps a steaming pile of shit like that on me will get cremated and dumped somewhere appropriate for them. We have plenty of oak trees around here they can spend the rest of eternity under. Their estates can be repossessed, foreclosed on, or burnt to the fucking ground for all I care.

July 06, 2018, 03:07 PM

Jelly

quote:
I bought him a plot

Do you have paperwork on the plot that states and or show location of the plot?

July 06, 2018, 03:23 PM

quote:
Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Anyone who dumps a steaming pile of shit like that on me will get cremated and dumped somewhere appropriate for them. We have plenty of oak trees around here they can spend the rest of eternity under. Their estates can be repossessed, foreclosed on, or burnt to the fucking ground for all I care.

good to get ahead of this.... both my brother and I had to sign a form before my mother could be cremated. I asked - told if one of us refused, cremation not possible. Not sure if it's a law in Colorado or some policy that has flexibility.

July 06, 2018, 03:24 PM

08 Cayenne, sorry to hear about all the crap you're having to endure. Hopefully it will come to an end soon.

July 06, 2018, 05:42 PM

ZSMICHAEL

This sort of thing has happened before. Involving the media in your local area often yields results. Here is the link to a story:

https://gooddaysacramento.cbsl...-on-the-wrong-grave/

July 06, 2018, 06:04 PM

RHINOWSO

quote:
Originally posted by SR:

good to get ahead of this.... both my brother and I had to sign a form before my mother could be cremated. I asked - told if one of us refused, cremation not possible. Not sure if it's a law in Colorado or some policy that has flexibility.

Yeah, the laws are wacky all over but thankfully my parents have a good will, so it should be easy when their time comes (hopefully decades from now, but you never know). Either way they have already pared down the stuff they have and moved to a better location should their health deteriorate.

I have no such illusions about the wife's side of the family but there isn't much I can do, other than make it known I'm not going into debt for dead people because they were stupid, nor am I spending tons of time dealing with their remaining estate. They're dead and no longer care, so why should I.

July 06, 2018, 07:00 PM

ASKSmith

Probably not the answer you want.

I lost my brother when he was 28. He was buried. My mom refuses to go to the cemetery, saying it doesn't mean anything to her. It's just a headstone, some dirt and grass.

Knowing my brother, if there was a mistake made at that point in his life, he'd pretty much just say leave it alone.

He's been dead for almost 20 years, and I live out of state. I stop by every time I can, but it's not much.

July 07, 2018, 05:38 AM

ulsterman

quote:
Originally posted by 08 Cayenne:
The latest disaster in the saga of my brothers estate. I've posted a couple things about my brothers death, died intestate and insolvent, spending tons of my own money to get everything he screwed up straightened out. Don't mean to sound like an asshole about it but this is getting old.
I bought him a plot, paid to bury him, and recently purchased a head stone for the grave. The guy who made the head stone said that he would call me when they put it on his grave plot. I could inspect it and sign off. Like a dumb ass I paid for the stone in full when I bought it which destroyed any leverage I have. Believe it or not they installed the head stone on the wrong grave. Quite expensive stone as well, has a footer underneath then a 8" thick slab of concrete on the footer so the stone would never shift or fall. The cemetery and monument supplier say its on the right plot but I know, and have pictures of, the correct plot where it should have been installed. They won't budge, I don't even know who I need to call to get it straightened out.
He was cremated so the hole for the grave is small, I'm literally thinking of digging him up to prove I'm right. I wonder if I could get arrested for that?

He's either buried in the wrong plot or the headstone is on the wrong plot. Either way, it belongs to the cemetery to fix.