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Bunch of savages
in this town
Picture of ASKSmith
posted
My 14y/o son has been working out with me from 5-6am for about 2 years.

A week ago, another gym closed, so our gym has become very packed. I told my son we need to mix up our routine some, we usually do cardio first, then lift afterwards. First day, my son walks in, says it isn't packed and hits the treadmill for a few miles. Within 15 minutes, the place is packed, just like I said it would be.

So when I'm done with the weights, I go upstairs to run, and he goes downstairs to lift. I should note that their is a "CrossFit" type of group that has a tendency to hog alot of equipment.

So my son goes to grab a bar that is not being used, and this guy flips out him and tells him he can't take it. Nobody was using it. My son didn't tell me until we were driving home, but he gave me a description of the guy. I know exactly who he is, and I've never had an issue with him. I kind of feel his frustration about the group that hogs the equipment, but if he has an issue with my son, he should have talked to me. Everybody who has been in that gym knows who my son is, he's the only 14y/o there.

I'm trying to figure out how to handle this. Do I go ballistic and tell him to leave my kid alone, or do say I understand your frustration, but my son has nothing to do with it. Either way I'm going to mention if it happens again, I will be contacting the manager (who isn't there that early), and ask for at least a suspension.

Any thoughts? In 35y/o of working out in a gym environment, I have never seen this.


-----------------
I apologize now...
 
Posts: 9635 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Once a Marine,
always a Marine
Picture of Ronin1069
posted Hide Post
quote:
Do I go ballistic and tell him to leave my kid alone,


Nope. Because somehow you will appear to be the aggressor and get yourself in trouble.

I like the idea I'd talking with the other dude first, and then the mgt next.


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Posts: 8809 | Location: Belly of the Beast | Registered: January 02, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Nobody owns the equipment in the gym. Your son, and you have just as much right to use it as the hog. Perhaps a polite conversation, then discuss it with the manager.

My peeve are the guys that sit on a piece of equipment, do one or two reps, sit, do another, and camp out for 20 minutes in the same place. I usually just skip that part or find an alternative.


A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master-and deserves one. Ronald Reagan, 1964, quoted from Alexander Hamilton
 
Posts: 1644 | Location: Southern Tennessee | Registered: February 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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tell your son if the equipment is not being used that next time he should ignore the guy
 
Posts: 2603 | Registered: August 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Bunch of savages
in this town
Picture of ASKSmith
posted Hide Post
This is my game plan.

First ask him what he said to my son, my son will confirm this. Just need to make sure we are talking to the same guy.

Second, I know he has kids, so I'm going to ask him what he would do if some "stranger" went off on his kid.

Third, I'll mention he is not the gym equipment manager, and my son doesn't have to ask for permission. The funny thing is the "crossfit" group has been doing this for about 4 years, and never once has this guy "gone off" on an adult. I'm friends with quite a few people in the CrossFit group, and yes, they can be annoying, but it's a gym. Nobody can reserve equipment. So my concern is he specifically targeted my son, a 14y/o kid. And that is what pisses me of the most.

I'm telling my son he can take everything he wants and build a fort if he'd like, we pay the same dues.

My son and I do very fast paced workouts. I usually just load up a backpack with weights and go to town.


-----------------
I apologize now...
 
Posts: 9635 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of SR
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If you know the guy just ask what happened. Maybe there is something that explains the reaction, maybe the guy says he over reacted, maybe his answer shows he's a jerk and should be avoided. But ask nicely and see where it goes.




Speak softly and carry a big stick loaded Sig
 
Posts: 4057 | Location: Raleigh, North Carolina | Registered: September 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The success of a solution usually depends upon your point of view
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It couldn't have been too traumatic if he did not bring it up until later. Maybe he did not want you to intervene.

Coach your son on how to interact with asshats and how to politely ignore them. Then leave it alone.

Have him continue to use any equipment that is not in use and if there is anymore encounters he can respectfully(ish) refer Mr asshole to the staff.

It will be good for your son's growth and you'll be nearby if it escalates.



“Banning guns is like banning forks in an attempt to stop making people fat.” - Vince Vaughn

 
Posts: 2406 | Location: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: September 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spread the Disease
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quote:
Originally posted by SpinZone:
It couldn't have been too traumatic if he did not bring it up until later. Maybe he did not want you to intervene.

Coach your son on how to interact with asshats and how to politely ignore them. Then leave it alone.

Have him continue to use any equipment that is not in use and if there is anymore encounters he can respectfully(ish) refer Mr asshole to the staff.

It will be good for your son's growth and you'll be nearby if it escalates.


This. It's a teachable moment for him.


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 13947 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Bunch of savages
in this town
Picture of ASKSmith
posted Hide Post
Spinzone,

I hadn't even considered my sons reaction. Although he did say he felt like flipping the guy off and saying he can't touch him since he's a minor.

Maybe this is a "character building" event. My son never goes there without me. I can tell my son to just ignore the guy, and do as he pleases.

Let me think about this, and ask my son how he wants to handle it. Without flipping him off...

Thanks for everyone's insight.


-----------------
I apologize now...
 
Posts: 9635 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
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Have your kid tell the dude that Chuck Norris is his teacher and to bug off. Wink

41



"Donald Trump is the grizzly bear in The Revenant. If you get his attention, he’ll be awake, bite your face off, and sit on you.".. Newt Gingrich.

41
 
Posts: 9591 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Have your son cover his palms in icy hot, bio freeze and do it again. When jerk uses equipment, well.. the shower will be interesting.
 
Posts: 3326 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 23, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
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quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
This is my game plan.

First ask him what he said to my son, my son will confirm this. Just need to make sure we are talking to the same guy.

Second, I know he has kids, so I'm going to ask him what he would do if some "stranger" went off on his kid.

Third, I'll mention he is not the gym equipment manager, and my son doesn't have to ask for permission. The funny thing is the "crossfit" group has been doing this for about 4 years, and never once has this guy "gone off" on an adult. I'm friends with quite a few people in the CrossFit group, and yes, they can be annoying, but it's a gym. Nobody can reserve equipment. So my concern is he specifically targeted my son, a 14y/o kid. And that is what pisses me of the most.

I'm telling my son he can take everything he wants and build a fort if he'd like, we pay the same dues.

My son and I do very fast paced workouts. I usually just load up a backpack with weights and go to town.


No need to go ballistic or confrontational.

Just ask him whether he had any issues with that kid there (and point to your son who isn't within earshot of both of you) and him using the equipment. Then let him know if he has any other issues with your son to talk with you.

You can do this matter of factly without prodding him to posture himself.



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 13279 | Location: Bay Area, CA | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
That rug really tied
the room together.
Picture of bubbatime
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Id leave it be and let your son handle it. If the guy continues to be a dick, than Id have a conversation. Maybe he was just having an off day. And most parents will defend their kids, even if they are in the wrong. I would guess that the other guy would tell a vastly different story than the 14 year old told.


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Posts: 3949 | Location: Floriduh | Registered: October 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Sometimes assholes aren't really assholes after all and just need a chance to apologize.
of course, some are just plain assholes. this guy might surprise you. Coffee cup conversation is sometimes better than a dick punch. hope it goes well, sounds like you have a good relationship with your son. good times


"The days are stacked against what we think we are." Jim Harrison
 
Posts: 665 | Location: Ann Arbor | Registered: September 07, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I would be tempted to tell your son that if he approached him again to yell "Pervert! Pervert!" Till he walked away. May not be the right thing but it draws the boundary clearly.
If he didn't walk away then I wouldn't pause to step up and talk to him. I see no reason to treat his dick move with kid gloves.
-TVz
 
Posts: 229 | Location: North of DFW | Registered: May 01, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Bunch of savages
in this town
Picture of ASKSmith
posted Hide Post
I was going to let is slide, maybe he was just having a bad day. I haven't seen him since.

My buddy texts me this morning, asks who the guy was. Apparently he said something to my friend about taking weights today.

I just called the manager to start a paper trail, and file a complaint. If it happens again, I can at least tell the idiot, I have already filed a complaint. And told the manager if it happens again, I will call her. Even she said it's not cool to talk that way to a 14y/o, or any other member.

We go at 5am. We pay our dues. We don't need to make reservations to use anything.


-----------------
I apologize now...
 
Posts: 9635 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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How about you do nothing unless it happens again. And then just go over to the guy and have a calm conversation about it.

Your options seem likely to escalate the situation before that is needed.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 44347 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Bunch of savages
in this town
Picture of ASKSmith
posted Hide Post
JHE,

I was going to not doing anything about it. I even told the manager I don't expect them to do anything about it, I just want it documented that I had called to complain about the guy. There is no manager at 5am, only the people who unlock to the door and janitorial staff. So I was only able to give her a vague description: guy's first name, and what he looked like. But now he is starting to harass other members.

I worked at a Gold's gym back in the day, and having your membership suspended can be a pain in the ass. But it keep members who are "borderline" in check. There aren't a lot of local options at 5am, either.

So in the meantime, I will just tell my son to ignore the guy, and I will do the same.


-----------------
I apologize now...
 
Posts: 9635 | Registered: December 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
They're after my Lucky Charms!
Picture of IrishWind
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Guy could be the next Lunk for the Planet Fitness advertisements.


Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up
Dirt Sailors Unite!
 
Posts: 24305 | Location: NoVa | Registered: May 06, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Hoping for better pharmaceuticals
Picture of AZSigs
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quote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
How about you do nothing unless it happens again. And then just go over to the guy and have a calm conversation about it.

Your options seem likely to escalate the situation before that is needed.

This is the best advice for this situation. No need to go postal.




Getting shot is no achievement. Hitting your enemy is.
 
Posts: 7992 | Location: Phoenix, Arizona | Registered: April 02, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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