What is up with this trash? Every salmon short wearing, whale belt loosening, Sperry shoe shining, Ray-Ban bespectacled tool in the New England area is guzzling this shit. I've overheard numerous conversations amongst grown men who are worried about carb intake drinking this stuff. Here's a thought, don't drink 12 cocktails per day whilst doing absolutely zero physical exercise and you may not have to guzzle bitch drinks with your 3rd wife on the south lawn of the country club.
At least your great grannie that left you your Audi money had the goddamn common courtesy to get shit-faced on gin or whiskey. If I see one more disgusting looking human wearing an "Ain't No Laws When You're Drinking Claws" tee shirt that's about 3 sizes too small, or overhear one more convo about which flavor is better, black cherry or ruby grapefruit, I'm taking the gas pipe.
If you need me, I'll be in the garage drinking Budweiser with my smelly old hound dog.
|Fighting the good fight|
My wife went on a hard seltzer kick for a few weeks at the beginning of the month. Liked it because it was fewer calories than beer. Luckily, she got over that quickly.
I tried a sip of a couple different brands she had, and they both tasted like stale, artificially sweet TV static.
I'm sure these are the same people that drank Zima back in the day. Douchenuggets
“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
Applies to all the hard seltzers as well.
"The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford, "it is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them. They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards."
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, then the wrong lizard might get in."
At least Zima had some street cred. Gangsters dissolving Jolly Ranchers in them and all that.
| Get my pies|
outta the oven!
Seltzer of any kind is hot right now, I'm not surprised that someone figured out that putting booze in it would take off too.
If you ask me, it's just 2019 Zima
I just wish it would draw some of the hipster d bags away from craft beer.
|Do No Harm,|
Do Know Harm
I prefer them to beer. And I'd prefer my wife drink a few of them nightly rather than a freaking bottle of wine.
I don't like beer. I think it's some kind of genetic thing, no one in my family really drinks beer. Tastes like ass to me. I could live the rest of my life and never taste another beer and I'd be fine with it.
I prefer rum or other liquor when I'm drinking, but I don't drink very much anyway.
Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.
Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard.
"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
|I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not |
not a selter fan...but I would try mixing it with vodka and cranberry juice lol
I've never had a drink in my life, but my wife likes these things, so I like them.
A couple weeks ago I'm in the small town where my gun club is and I stop at a gas station on the way home from shooting. Because I'm such a nice guy, I bought a twelve pack of White Claw for my wife. I throw them in the passenger seat of the Tahoe and as I walk around to get in, I get a text. My watch says the name of one of three people I know in this little town and "picture", so I figure in the fifteen seconds I'm between the store and my car, I'm caught with my purchase of cheerleader beer. What are the odds?
Fortunately, it was an unrelated group text with a picture of another co-worker on the side of the road out of gas (in a police car). I did go ahead and out myself because it made for its own good story and maybe took a little heat off of the guy who ran out of gas (because the guy that had the car before him left it so empty, it didn't make it to the pumps).
|It's not you,|
You are dead on!!!
|His diet consists of black|
coffee, and sarcasm.
|posting without pants|
For those among us that either need to demand to speak to the manager, or put our fist through they drywall..... White claw...
Strive to live your life so when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh crap, he's up."
|His diet consists of black|
coffee, and sarcasm.
Its very name is suggestive of other cheap shitty alcohol like the various malt liquors, MD 20/20, Steel Reserve, etc.
Great rant!!!! I thought Zima was for Pussies this stuff is even pussie-er!!!!!
My daughter drinks White Claw. I won't even try it.
I found myself a nice veteran owned brewery that serves Porters, ales, IPA's and Pilsner. That's more me.
They have growlers so I'll take that home with me.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
I've seen a lot of Karen with the speak to the manager haircut types drinking it.
That's what I thought too. However, I was corrected by my communist neighbor when I was making fun of him. Turns out it has a little bit of vodka in it.
There is no law if you partake in The Claw.
Never had White Claw, but I will sometimes use LaCroix as a vodka mixer. I like vodka soda with a lime. Is that what WC is like?
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If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
Their plain seltzer does, yes.
As far as the other flavors go, no. They taste like the hot garbage juice smells spilling from the back of a trash truck on a July morning in Scottsdale.
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