So yesterday I had to run into Walmart as my wife makes it her personal mission to make me go to the store as many times a week as possible for shit she forgets.

I am not sick, nor am I coming down with anything and I consider myself a fairly considerate person...That said, as I rounded the corner into the coffee aisle, both hands steering my cart, I had to cough...not a huge hacking cough, just a tickle in my throat. I turned my head into my shoulder and coughed into my shirt sleeve. As I did this I passed 2 guys, in their 20's maybe early 30's and one of the exclaimed very loudly "why dont you just cough in my face!).

I was honestly in a state of disbelief as I did not come anywhere near coughing in his face and I said "excuse me" to which he replied "No, excuse me is what you should have said when you sprayed your germs all over me". It takes a lot to get me going but calling me out in a crowded store for something I did not do got me there.

My reply was simple and to the point, I did not advance towards him but did stand my ground and simply clarified that I did not cough on him and if her perceived that I did I was sorry but if he was going to go out in public places it would be best if he wasn't such a fucking pussy...There was a moment of silence then he and his friend stomped away.

I was half expected security to track my happy ass down as the princess seemed like the type to make it a federal offense but i am sure he just left and took a silkwood shower.

Maybe you looked like an illegal alien?

Seriously, it's not often that one runs into Millennials in Walmart. Were they having a hipster sale?

Next time, you say, "Oh yeah, sorry about that, just got back from a tour of Asia. It's like flu season over there too, crazy, right? I was feeling fine, until I got back, had a tickle in my throat since then, some aches and chills. I ejaculated some blood earlier too. Not during intercourse, or masturbation, just sort of all on it's own. It was weird! Anyway, better get some OJ, right, pal?"

quote:

Originally posted by newtoSig765:
Maybe you looked like an illegal alien?

Seriously, it's not often that one runs into Millennials in Walmart. Were they having a hipster sale?

If I had to describe them term "hispter douche" although redundant would fit best

You could always tell him to take the initiative when he goes out in public and just wear a surgical mask everywhere.

I’d like to think I have have thought up all manner of whitty retorts, but I’m not that quick on my feet. I probably would’ve just laughed at him and said “sorry, Princess” or “life’s hard, get a helmet, and maybe in your case, a gas mask.”

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:
I ejaculated some blood earlier too. Not during intercourse, or masturbation, just sort of all on it's own. It was weird! Anyway, better get some OJ, right, pal?"

Lmao!

“I know, weird, right?”

quote:

I turned my head into my shoulder and coughed into my shirt sleeve.

Which is how restaurant food services teach their employees to cough if they need to unexpectedly.

He was probably on his way to the McDonalds to use the order kiosk and didn’t want any germs on his Big Mac.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
I’d like to think I have have thought up all manner of whitty retorts, but I’m not that quick on my feet.

Somebody needs to invent a ASG app so Sigforumites can have access to his witticisms wherever they are

Sorry my TB is acting up is a snappy retort.

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Somebody needs to invent a ASG app so Sigforumites can have access to his witticisms wherever they are

I'd buy that, or "The Little Blue Book of ASG"
Blue as in cursing a blue streak.

I would like to see the "CHACK-CHACK" speech linked as a sticky...or made into a movie

That being said...I am somewhat OC on washing and drying my hands WITH paper towels (if available) in the shitter and carrying Purell wet wipes...plus I use the wet wipes offered at Publix and Walmart on my buggy handle...it just me feel better. I know you are exposed to some really nasty/shitty folks and their nasty/shitty hygiene no matter where you go (I haven't quite perfected "hovering" over the toilet as of yet)

The cashiers at Aldi are super fast, scanning items and depositing them into the customer's shopping cart. They usually try to put some of my groceries in the fold-out child seating area of my shopping cart.

I tell them, "Please do not put my food on the seat where babies with poopy diapers sit."

I'm really kind of surprised that the county Health Department does not put a stop to this.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
..."Please do not put my food on the seat where babies with poopy diapers sit."...

OMFG! I confess that I've been doing that for years with our groceries, putting checked stuff in the baby seat! Even worse, it's at Walmart!!!

In my defense, my girlfriend usually buys stuff for herself on these trips, and it's always her's that gets put in the baby seat.

Do I tell her about this. V-Tail, or do I play innocent?

I put items there all the time. they are bagged and never touch the seat.

Well, I'm still not telling my Girlfriend!

Plastic flap down is where the shitty diapers and go...plastic flap vertical, there's no place for the kids legs.
You're good to go with the flap up blocking where poopster's legs fit.

I make a habit NOT TO TOUCH MY FACE, LIPS OR EYES in a store.
I'll grab the hand sanitizer in my truck when I get there and do a quick decon before driving off.
(excess ETOH sanitizer is rubbed onto the keyfob and whatever else I touched before the excess sanitizer dries)

quote:

Originally posted by rscalzo:
I put items there all the time. they are bagged and never touch the seat.

No sir, they are NOT bagged. This is Aldi. Much like the European stores that I have been in, the items are placed "naked" in the cart.

Bags are not free at Aldi. It is up to the customer to bring his / her own bag(s), or buy the bags that they sell there. After checkout, you can go to a shelf area and do your own bagging. Some people grab empty cartons from stuff that has been stocked on the shelves and use these to carry their groceries. Some people, especially if they do not have a lot of items, just schlep all the separate items to the car.

quote:

I tell them, "Please do not put my food on the seat where babies with poopy diapers sit."

After wiping the cart handle I wipe the baby pooping area with the provided wipes. I carry my own ink pen & use my fingernail to sign the pads. Have you noticed the nasty signature pads at markets!

Depending on my level of surliness, when the snowflake replied “Why don’t you just cough in my face” I may have seen it as a request and complied, followed up with “Yer welcome bitch”