The favorite child ...

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January 08, 2019, 08:45 AM
The favorite child ...
I wrote a long story about my family and deleted it. Let's just discuss how those that do the least for their family often get favored status. Ugh.

It was actually good for me to write out my story even though I didn't share it.
January 08, 2019, 09:49 AM
I feel ya.

I have 3 brothers, a step-brother and a half-brother.

There's 4-5 years between all of us and by the time I was old enough to start remembering stuff, most my older brothers were off on their own.

Half-brother is 5 years almost to the day younger than me. Same Dad, different Moms. Step-brother came with little brother's Mom.

Didn't really realize it growing up as I had no referent, but as an adult and talking to my older brothers, it's now apparent that step-Mom tolerated us and doted on "her" two boys.

It explains a lot of shit that confused and angered me when I was a teenager.

On the other side of the coin, I adopted 3 kids when I married their Mom. They were 7, 8 and 11 at the time. Younger two were girls, oldest a boy.

There's no doubt I made mistakes bringing them up but they're all now in their 50's. Boy is in CT and married to a gal that will surely drown if she ever goes outside in the rain, if you know what I mean. Makes few bones about her opinion of his "hick" parents.

Older gal has a whole other set of issues, but does stay in touch and calls regularly and has on a few occasions expressed her gratitude for the various things we've done for her over the years. Don't always agree with her choices, but she's an adult and we don't have to live with the results.

Younger girl is still local (about 20 miles) we see her at least once a week, text and/or call daily. She's far and away the most attentive/appreciative of the three.

Guess who's Daddy's Favorite?

Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
January 08, 2019, 09:57 AM
Always felt my sister (5 years older) was sort of the "favorite" child while I grew up. I laugh when I write this because I was the "wild child" and gave my folks the most grief growing up, she was really pretty much the "perfect" child, straight A's, never an issue.

So, I have no hard feelings, I got what I deserved, and I know my folks loved me and we both turned out pretty good. It made me tough!! HA!
January 08, 2019, 10:09 AM
My sister and I are six years apart. I never miss a chance to remind her that I’m the baby of the family. Big Grin
January 08, 2019, 10:47 AM
While i never felt it in my own family, i sure see it in my wifes fam. The oldest set the bar for my wife, who came next. And she never met that bar in her parents eyes. But then her younger sister came along and is the punk, the rebel, the trouble maker they will bail out of any and all problems. If we (my wife) does anything slightly contrary to how they think we should be, we are worse than the younger. But we werent ever as good as older sister.

The one relief to that is that the older has turned into an anti-medicine, anti-vacxer, crazy hippie. Which drives my father in law absolutely nuts.

I can see it from the outside and experience it at my wifes side, but in the end, i still cant really imagine how it feels...

While you may be able to get away with bottom shelf whiskey, stay the hell away from bottom shelf tequila. - FishOn
January 08, 2019, 11:06 AM
I'm the prototype, my younger brother is the production version.

"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris
January 08, 2019, 11:24 AM
I was one of 7 kids; 5 girls and 2 boys

We were a real-life Brady Bunch of sorts as my Dad got divorced from my Mom and re-married to my stepmother when I was 5.

My Dad had me and 2 girls

My stepmother had 1 boy and 3 girls

She clearly favored the second eldest girl from her side growing up and still does to this day. Things we could not get away with, my sister did get away with and more. She's made some questionable life choices and my stepmother to this day will make excuses for her and treats her like she can do no wrong.

It's weird, but just how it is.

January 08, 2019, 12:31 PM
I'm lucky. I have one brother that is 4 years younger than I am. We are business partners and we get along famously. I think we both took it for granted until someone pointed it out to us. We complement each other in the business, he has his domain and I have mine. We have our differences but we resolve them and go on. Just dumb luck compared to a lot of the disfunction I've witnessed in other families.

When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. The pain is only felt by others. The same thing happens when you're stupid.
January 08, 2019, 12:31 PM

I’m one of 8. 1 full brother, 4 half brothers, one half sister, and a stepbrother.

I ran away from home when I was 13. Never went back, until I was an adult. (Though dramatic sounding, that’s true. I simply woke up one morning and left my father’s homestead with all the half/step brothers to go live with my mother and brother without warning, with no prodding from my mother).

As Frank said...I did it my way. I love my family but expect nothing from any of them. I’m never disappointed, and rarely surprised, except for my full brother and older half sister—the two I’m closest with. My half brothers are all still living on the family compound, farming and such except for one in army OCS right now. They will all inherit millions. I’m good with my choices.

Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.

Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard.

"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
January 08, 2019, 01:00 PM
I have 2 boys that are 14 months apart, 1 in first grade and the other in second grade.

They could not be any more different. The older is definitely the alpha male. He is also slightly larger than the younger one, even at the same age. He doesn't have any fat on him, he just has a bigger frame. My wife likes to say that the younger one is a "people pleaser". Almost never gets in trouble or does things he shouldn't. The older one is constantly doing things he shouldn't, even though he knows better.

I try very hard to treat them equally, but it is very difficult when one is constantly doing shit he is not supposed to, or doesn't listen. I know when they are older I will be accused of favoring the younger one more. It's simply not true, he just does way less shit that pisses me off.
January 08, 2019, 03:54 PM
I didn't mean to sound like I thought you felt like they owed you...I was just specific to myself. When my retired parents "couldn't" help with my young children, and my mother straight refused to refer to my son as her "grandchild" or participate in any grandparent relations, I just ignored it and moved on. I refused to be angry about it or expect different after the initial shock--which my ex-wife seemed to do a lot of.

Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.

Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard.

"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
January 08, 2019, 04:41 PM
No favorite in my family, despite what some feels. My parents love all of us equally.


2016 MAGA ---> 2020 KAG
* P228 factoids *
The original PROTO-1 Auction

January 08, 2019, 05:21 PM
This all simply reminds me once again that you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.

"....imitate the action of the Tiger."
January 08, 2019, 06:42 PM
Elk Hunter
I was the oldest in my family. My step dad married my mom when I was less about 2. Mom was pregnant with my sis when they married. She was pretty much always the "love child". I was 10 when my brother was born. Sis was always the protected one and pretty much the reason I went in the army. Strangely enough it was caused by apricots. Big fight about who would pick them. Mom suggested that since I didn't want to pick them (sis on her fat ass watching) I should join the army. I was enlisted and on the bus out of town that afternoon. But it turned out well. Went to Germany as I requested and the first girl I met has been my wife for 60 1/2 years now.

In all actuality, after I left younger brother became the favored child, and was until mom died.


There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville


The Idaho Elk Hunter
January 08, 2019, 07:12 PM
My brother was a convicted felon who lived with my parents until he was in his mid forties. They bailed him out of every jam he ever got into, including recklessly killing his best friend when my brother was 14.
The favorite son by a country mile, my Bro was!

End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
January 08, 2019, 08:59 PM
I’m the middle of three boys...I call myself “The Good Son” or TGS...

I don’t ask for money....

I don’t only call when I want something....

I didn’t change my name....

And I gave them grandkids!!!


And it infuriates my big bro...hehehehe

"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers

January 08, 2019, 10:25 PM
My father hated the fact that his parents played favorites. He was estranged from most of his siblings over bitterness and rivalry it led to.

His father was estranged from his entire family over bitterness caused by playing favorites. (Going back generations, on my father's side I have massive extended family who mostly don't know each other because morons a generation back hated each other.)

Growing up, my father played favorites. Nobody learns a bloody thing.

Screw that. I don't play favorites with my own kids.
January 09, 2019, 12:53 AM
I think I was the favorite son because I caused them the least grief, I was the most responsible, and gave my parents the first and only grandson. My younger brother has gone up in standing because he worked with Dad almost until Dad died, and helped Mom while Dad was ill, and since. My older brother still does some really dumb things, even though he is a good guy.

I only have one kid, so I can't play favorites.
January 09, 2019, 05:11 AM

A mind is a terrible thing.
January 09, 2019, 06:51 AM
Originally posted by 12131:
No favorite in my family, despite what some feels. My parents love all of us equally.

If you don’t think your parents had a favorite, you are the favorite. Smile kidding