quote:

Then I got pissed off and tense for the rest of the day, to know how powerless the system is to fix it.

You might want to talk with a psychologist about what you want to do with your life. Some brief consultation might give you some direction, particularly if you wish to be self employed.

I have been self employed for several decades and like what I do. I make a difference in the lives of people and that is what matters to me. You are beyond burned out. The next step is often a health crisis for you. I would bet that your health insurance would cover a psychologist. If not most companies have employee assistance programs that are confidential and can give you some assistance. Keep us updated.

Thank you all for your replies. I've been doing some online searching for jobs. I also went to the range for the first time in months. My co worker from my old office kept asking me to take him so I said fine. I was avoiding it due to being so tired from work and wanting to laze about.

I had a lot of fun at the range and felt so relaxed. Took a couple of lever guns (357 and 44 mag) and just had a lot of fun.

I've also gone out for dinner more, left the house with my girlfriend more, taken my car for more aimless drives.

I also have my home rowing machine that I have been utilizing a lot more.

I've been avoiding dealing with friends and family because I feel so stressed and want to be alone. Tonight I'm meeting a buddy for a beer and a burger to get out of the house.

Little steps. Deep down I know that I need to leave the field. I don't need to know about all the horrible shit people do day in and out, and know they'll [99%] never change.

One of the biggest stressors too is the fact that if something goes sideways, you wear it. I was told early on not to count on management having your back, and the lowest man on the totem pole gets the blame.