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My annual Ford AdvanceTrac rant Login/Join 
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
posted
Well, thanks again Ford engineers! You dang near killed me again this year. Mad Thankfully there was no collision, but I did have fun getting out of the ditch today.

Whoever made the decision to make this an opt out option needs to be put in the driver's seat of a truck sliding on an icy highway straight into the path of an oncoming vehicle. Then, if they survive, they need to hung by the neck until dead...and then shot...twice.

GOD DAMN I HATE THIS! For the rest of the winter now I get to make sure that I turn it off every single fucking time I get into my truck rather than turning it on if and when I would ever want it...which would be NEVER!

If anyone knows of a computer programmer who can hack into my truck and turn it off permanently, please let me know where they live and I'll pay them handsomely.

I've been driving on ice and snow for 40+ years and I know how my vehicles behave on the ice and I know how to correct it. It is ingrained in my brain and has been for decades. I do not want a vehicle that I cannot control on slick roads. I DO NOT WANT IT!

I have been a lifelong Ford owner, but FUCK YOU Ford! This pisses me off to no end. $62,000 for a truck that I can't control in a slide unless I hold down a button for five seconds? Not only no, but fuck no!

Dammit I hate Ford AdvanceTrac, but what I hate more is trying to pull my nuts out of my throat and get them back where they belong. Mad


(Apologies for the cursing...just a tad angry)


________________________________________________________

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy." Winston Churchill
 
Posts: 15368 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Perception
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Haha, great rant. As an outside observer, I get lots of entertainment out of youtube videos of Fords stuck hopelessly in 2 inches of snow because that system is having a seizure and they don't know how to turn it off.




"The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford, "it is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them. They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards."
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, then the wrong lizard might get in."
 
Posts: 2390 | Location: Two blocks from the Center of the Universe | Registered: December 30, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of ridewv
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That WAS a good rant, sometime I'll have to rant about the stupid "AWD" on the Polaris Ranger I had which made it similarly uncontrollable on an icy road.


No car is as much fun to drive, as any motorcycle is to ride.
 
Posts: 4613 | Location: Northern WV | Registered: January 17, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I hate newer vehicles, my wife has one. I drive a 2000 Jeep Cherokee in the fall and winter, no ABS, no push button four wheel drive, no rust holes in the floor...yet... pull the handle/lever to get four wheel drive, didn't work so I went to our local industrial parts store, bought stuff to make a linkage, ground out the shifter gate to get low range as the handle wouldn't go that far back, works great. Replaced the suspension, rides like a jeep. Next year got through the front and rear axles, add a locker.... It's either payments or parts...
 
Posts: 1689 | Location: U.P. of michigan | Registered: March 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of mcrimm
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I don’t know anything about this, but can you pull a fuse or disable via Forscan?



I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
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When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham
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Liberalism is a failure to find pathways to intelligence in your brain. - David Lawrence
 
Posts: 1533 | Location: Kalispell Montana & Florida’s Emerald Coast for the Winter | Registered: December 24, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Crusty old
curmudgeon
Picture of Jimbo54
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The two best 4 wheel drive trucks I owned were good old fashioned mechanical units with locking hubs. they were go anywhere, go anytime vehicles. Every electronic controlled drive since then had a learning curve on ice and snow. Frown

Jim


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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
 
Posts: 7113 | Location: The right side of Washington State | Registered: September 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I think your problem started at 62,000. That's where mine would have ended. I drive mid-range vehicles with as few options as possible. Of course, many are no longer "options." I just spent a week in Phoenix driving a Buick Endeavor (?). It appeared to be Buick's answer to an Escalade. Some neat stuff, but mostly pain in the ass shit like a warning that someone is behind you when you change lanes. It's Phoenix in winter, moron, there's ALWAYS someone behind you in traffic! At any rate, I've back to my easier, much less automated, cheaper, cheaper on gas Corolla.
 
Posts: 14304 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: October 15, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I know it would make the dash "cluttered", but systems like that should be controlled by mechanical on/off toggle switches all mounted together on the dash.

ABS and auto-locking doors are my gripes. Thankfully the current car is 15 years old and is only on the cusp of having all the mommy-may-I crap.


===
I would like to apologize to anyone I have *not* offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.
 
Posts: 1409 | Location: The Sticks in Wisconsin. | Registered: September 30, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Fredward:
I think your problem started at 62,000. That's where mine would have ended.

Looked at new trucks lately? Wink

That's what I paid for it in 2012.

While I did get nearly every option available, sadly, I don't think this AdvanceTrac shit is an option.

And I agree whanson, a toggle switch would be nice.


________________________________________________________

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy." Winston Churchill
 
Posts: 15368 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of cparktd
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Sounds like my BIL. He has a newish ford van as a service truck with that or similar on it.



Deplorable before deplorable was cool!
 
Posts: 2023 | Location: Middle Tennessee | Registered: February 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Striker in waiting
Picture of BurtonRW
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quote:
Originally posted by Gustofer:
If anyone knows of a computer programmer who can hack into my truck and turn it off permanently, please let me know where they live and I'll pay them handsomely.


You might want to contact this guy:

https://www.smartstopstart.com/

He used several of us on the KL-specific JeepCherokeeClub.com forum to design and test his anti-ESS module. Dude knows what he’s doing with overriding opt-out settings. I bet if it’s possible, he can figure it out.

-Rob




I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888

A=A
 
Posts: 14906 | Location: Maryland, AA Co. | Registered: March 16, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Rev. A. J. Forsyth
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I hate it as well. Turn it off every time I drive in the slop. Having said that, it did completely save my bacon once while driving with a very heavy trailer. I started to get some swaying while going a little too fast. The dash lit up like I was flying an Airbus that was about to crash. The vehicle brought everything back under control. It was a memorable experience to say the least.
 
Posts: 761 | Location: Manufacturing Ghost Town | Registered: April 01, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I bought that for my 17 GC. It is great, totally worth the money. I really hated the stop start, and it works for remembering the other pushbutton settings, so yeah maybe he can develop one for Ford.

quote:
Originally posted by BurtonRW:
quote:
Originally posted by Gustofer:
If anyone knows of a computer programmer who can hack into my truck and turn it off permanently, please let me know where they live and I'll pay them handsomely.


You might want to contact this guy:

https://www.smartstopstart.com/

He used several of us on the KL-specific JeepCherokeeClub.com forum to design and test his anti-ESS module. Dude knows what he’s doing with overriding opt-out settings. I bet if it’s possible, he can figure it out.

-Rob
 
Posts: 399 | Location: Maryland | Registered: August 17, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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