Reminds me of this:
Thanks, guys ! Now I'm never going to enter a men's room again without thinking of this. It did remind me of a story about my late father, that I have related many times. My dad was a very serious Catholic. He came from the old school, more Catholic than the Pope. Never ate meat on Fridays, not just Lent, never. Needless to say he was not into all the hand holding and shaking hands during Mass. When we went to church with dad, we always looked forward to the Sign of Peace. Everyone else would be turning to their neighbor, shaking hands, etc. Dad would bow his head and cover his face with his right hand, seemingly deep in prayer.
One evening dad and a friend were attending a basketball game at a large arena. The two of them went to the men's room and were at the urinals. A third man comes in and joins them. My dad and his friend finish first and proceed to the sinks. While washing their hands, they see the third person, zip up and head out the door, bypassing the sinks in the process. My dad turns to his friend and said, "Now you know why I don't shake hands with those bastards in church!"
"The World is my Urinal"......really, it is !
Anywho, wanna be a clown? As your standing shoulder to shoulder with some other dude pissing, simply say: "Hey, nice wrist watch"
I follow proper etiquette as much as I can but if only one is open, I'm taking it.
|SAC trained killer|
" Don't eat the big white mint" .
" May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am".
Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM90lwrz4Og
"My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them." Winston Churchill
Recently I'm sure you guys have noticed all the lowered urinals. Since they don't make the good 'ol one size fits all-the-way-to-the-floor anymore, we now get kiddie ones too. Some are so low that a tall guy might need to watch for the TOP edge. I simply hate it when presented with 2 choices, the 4' 11" guy in front of me takes the tall one and needs to stay on his toes to use it. That is not swingin' above your weight, no sir!
The plural of anecdote is not data. -Frank Kotsonis
Someone called out a guy at work who was heading for the door without washing his hands.
I love my dick, I wash my hands BEFORE I touch it!
Deplorable before deplorable was cool!
|On the DL|
Back when I was in the Navy, the joke was that a Marine and a Sailor were both in the head, urinating. The sailor finished and started to walk out.
The marine called him, saying "In the Marine Corps, they teach us to wash our hands after we piss."
The sailor replied, "In the Navy, they teach us not to piss on our hands."
A mind is a terrible thing.
Yep. I've heard several variations of that one.
Insert your favorite college rivalry for instance...
And if you choose poorly you get splatter on your pants.
As a matter of fact, the all the way to the floor urinals seem to be making a comeback. I see them frequently in some of the swankier hotels and restaurants. As for "splashback", you don't realize the extent of the problem, until you start wearing shorts in the summertime.
|Never Go |
"So. This is where the dicks hang out."
“Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay; and claims a halo for his dishonesty.” - R.A. Heinlein
It's not peeing on yourself. It's the fact that your pride and joy is cooped up in your pants right next to your rectum. Plus it gets hot and moist in there so things travel.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
― Samuel Adams
|High Drag, Low Speed!|
If you are getting poopy dick just by wearing underwear, you're doing it wrong.
“Sons of Bitches! Take this blindfold off and let me see my bride!"
|Rumors of my death|
are greatly exaggerated
I laughed so hard I pissed myself!
"Someday I hope to be half the man my bird-dog thinks I am."
|A Beautiful Mind|
Yes, exactly! The local movie theater has urinals with minimal spacing and no dividers. Son and I go see a movie and are using the facilities when the show gets out and I head into a stall to take a leak. Son knows I don't have a modest bone in my body and asks, "Why the stall?" I told him the last time I used the urinals in there when it was busy and I was wearing shorts I almost had to beat someone senseless!
|Let's be careful |
Okay, that one did about make me pee my pants. Bladder control aint what it used to be.
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver
NRA Life Member
|Legalize the Constitution|
Sometimes it happens that the middle one is the only one open. Reluctantly, you step up there only to have the other two guys finish and leave. You’re left there using the middle urinal with no one on either side. You can feel the next guy who comes along thinking, “What a douche.” I want to explain...but
Every time you think you’ve heard the stupidest thing you can possibly imagine; a new day dawns.
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