This isn’t so much the nuts & bolts of the divorce. 13+ years, no kids, higher income, prenup.

The issue is I’ve tried to help some this past year+ while she’s being manipulative with the few that will help, plus overload on the ‘whoa is me’ attitude. Nobody has it worse than her, he’s the most narcissistic, blaa blaa blaa there ever was.

I was there 1.5 years ago helping pack some stuff, on my way to FL, very relieved to get out.

3 weeks ago I drove down, NC, with help, truck, trailer, my fuel, to help her move out, toward the upper Midwest. My mantra was ‘prioritize’, towards a two bedroom apt. I ended up with 1/2 useful stuff, the rest Christmas lights, Dolly Parton pictures & the like. I decided it was just best to fill up & get out.

She’s on about the 4the or 5th legal team, none ever good enough. The main issue was a simple equity house split, long surpassed with legal fees.

She wanted to start over with a cell plan. Just today I offered her to come on to our Cricket plan, I’ll pay. Cricket isn’t good enough. She’s out of $$ but bought a $1500 dresser 6 weeks ago, now to be shipped.

I’ve already helped in an assortment of ways, there and towards the expected destination. Sorry, but she’s on block for a while. Even though we have the relation, she’s darn near unbearable. She’s driven just about all her friends away, nothing but negative talk.

She may need to find bottom. When she was whining that she needed Verizon today, I said that’s my offer. I also said, her problems aren’t necessarily my problems.

Just a quick peek from the other side of most divorce talk.

Hang in there. Tough love is tough. There's a fine line between helping and enabling. Look out for number 1.

Sorry to hear you are going through that
this sounds like my best friends sister when I helped her out (moved her 4x)

This also sounds like my sister who is about to go through a divorce.

My sister always thought she was a Vanderbilt, Kennedy etc..

I guess I can understand the ex-Husband wanting to divorce her ass.

Sounds like you have the correct attitude; she's family but her actions have consequences.

I feel for you. My sister had a bad habit of waiting for me to save the day. I had to explain that I was happy to help but it was much easier for me to help when I had more than a day or two notice that she needed to find a place to live or move across town or whatever. Thankfully she matured out of it once she had a kid and had someone utterly dependent on her. I still worry.

Divorce, something, something, sister, something.

Trailer full of Dolly pictures!!

Phone, something, something...

Go have a beer with her ex.

Establishing boundaries is a very important yet often overlooked aspect of all relationships.

This rings similar to my sister, except mine has young twins

I've offered help and experience, to be met with "she's going to do it her way" and when her way fails, the family struggles to help last minute (we do it for the twins, not my sister).

She's burned every bridge she's crossed, she's the General Sherman of our family.

Everyone has at least one idiot family member, usually a sibling that knows more than everyone else. I have an idiot younger sister I haven't spoken to in years because she married a selfish, money grabbing, worthless husband.

A friend of mine is a very prominent criminal defense attorney. Years ago before he became established I asked why he did not handle divorces. His answer: Criminals do not call you in the middle of the night.

Sounds like she's projecting the narcissism on the ex and has similar issues of her own.

Yes to most of the above. On a trip now with the older Son. I’ll leave her blocked a while longer. More of the same lately

Stay kind.
I know that sounds easy for me to say.
My oldest sister rubbed me the wrong way for a long time.
I was very kind to her even though she did me wrong quite a few times.
Then one evening when we were with friends I came unglued with the crap.
Well that was last fall. This spring her cancer got so bad we knew she did not have long.
I felt really bad about telling her off.
She died last week and even though we had put our differences behind us in early spring, I still feel bad.
Don't have any regrets!

Yep, I’m still willing to be helpful, just want to leave out the crazy.

Her birthday is in a few days, unblocked now, birthday text if I don’t hear by then.

quote:

Originally posted by P210:
Establishing boundaries is a very important yet often overlooked aspect of all relationships.

Listen to the man.

Sounds like her world crashed and she’s lashing out. I hope someone has gently pointed out the manipulative behavior. When you lose control of your world, some people tend to try and control everything else. Is there anything else at play? Drug abuse, etc?

Don’t know how long she was married, but that was her world, now it’s gone, and it may take some readjustment. Sounds like you’re trying to be patient, and kudos to you for doing so.